Hi everybody. I'm very new to translating (started this week), and I just wanted to show my translation of Senkou no Prisoner here before I submitted it to the website. Is it okay? What do you think about the lines where I have alternate translations? And about the "Dare ga tame ni hane wo hiroge" line. Is that like "Who, for what sake, would spread their wings?" Or is it "Who for your sake would spread their wings?"
And about the "kotoba ja nakute" part. Should I maybe translate that as "You are not armed by letting words resound, but rather the naked truth?" Or maybe I should go with a really lose translation like, "Words aren't enough to arm yourself with, so let the naked truth resound?"
閃光のPrisoner
Prisoner of a Flash
わたしの中に潜む
―\PRISONER―\
永遠(とわ)に愛の名のもとに
Give you all that you need
You\'re my starlight
Prisoner who lurks within me,
In the name of eternal love,
I’ll give you all that you need
You’re my starlight.
歴史の狭間に 癒えぬ痛みを隠して
人間(ひと)は哀しいほど 忘れる生き物
Hide your unhealed grief in the valley of history.
Humans forget their sorrows as much as they despair in them. (Alternate: The more humans are sorrowful, the more they forget those sorrows.)
誰(だれ)が為に 羽根を広げ
刹那の果て 命を捧ぐのか
Who, for what sake, would spread their wings
And give their life in an instant?
昨日よりも 大人びてる
綺麗なその横顔が 孤独に揺れる
You’re more mature than yesterday.
That lovely face of yours is trembling in solitude.
あなたの中に潜む
―\PRISONER―\
消えない刻印(しるし)を背負い
護るべき 正義の為に 嘆かないで
もしも世界が 否定をしても
私がそばにいるから
譲れない 想いだけ 胸に抱いて
暗闇を撃て
Prisoner who lurks within you,
You must bear and protect the unfading emblem.
In the name of justice, don’t lament.
And since I’ll stay by your side
Even if the world denies you,
Hold only your ineffable emotions in your heart.
Shoot the darkness.
朝が来るたびに 時は生まれ変わるけど
同じだけ別れを 選んでゆくのね
Although time is reborn at the come of each morning,
It always chooses to leave, doesn’t it?
胸を鎮め 何を祈る
憂うほどに 記憶は輪廻する
What do you pray for to calm your heart?
Memories reincarnate as much as you fret over them. (The more you fret, the more your memories reincarnate.)
裏切るより 傷つくより
明日を諦めぬことが 救いへと成る
Not losing hope for tomorrow assures salvation
More than betraying or getting hurt.
わたしの中に潜む
―\PRISONER―\
永遠(とわ)に愛の名のもとに
護りたい 人がいるから 悪になれる
武装されてる 言葉じゃなくて
ありのままを響かせて
暖かな ぬくもりで 抱いてあげる
哀しみを撃て
Prisoner who lurks within me,
In the name of eternal love,
You can become evil because there are people you want to protect. (You’ll grow accustomed to evil...)
You can’t arm yourself with words, so (These words aren't armed, so. It's not words that are armed, so.)
Let the naked truth resound.
I’ll embrace you with all my warmth.
Shoot the sorrow.
昨日よりも 大人びてる
綺麗なその横顔が 孤独に揺れる
You’re more mature than yesterday.
That lovely face of yours is trembling in solitude.
二人の中に潜む
―\PRISONER―\
消えない刻印(しるし)を背負い
護るべき 正義の為に もう泣かないで
もしも世界が 否定をしても
私がそばにいるから
譲れない 想いだけ 胸に抱いて
暗闇を撃て
Prisoner who lurks within us,
You must bear and protect the unfading emblem.
In the name of justice, don’t weep anymore.
And since I’ll stay by your side
Even if the world denies you,
Hold only your ineffable emotions in your heart.
Shoot the darkness.
Bookmarks