Sound Horizon - Yaneura no Shoujo

[Haze~]

Well, looks like I'm back to Sound Horizon! Err... I really should finish Lost, but after stumbling across this vocalless song, and noticing nobody has translated it before, I suddenly felt an urge to do it. Anyway, I'd really appreciate any feedback on this!

Romaji:

Usugurai heya de kusari tsunagareta yaneura no shoujo
Mado kara mieru sekai wa aoku yuganda gensou...

Usugurai heya de kyoujin ni kawareta yaneura no shoujo
Sashikomu tsukiakari ga hosoi yubisaki wo michibiku...

Shoujo ni ataerareta yuiitsu no omocha wa
Shiroi KYANBASU to sanshoku no enogu

Shoujo wa kuru hi mo kuru hi mo kaita
Shiroi KYANBASU no naka ni wa subete ga aru kara
Shoujo wa kuru hi mo kuru hi mo kaita
Sanshoku no enogu ga areba subete wo kaketa...

Shoujo ni ataerareta no wa
Karada wo yaneura ni tsunagitomeru tame ni saiteigen no shokuji
Shiroi KYANBASU to sanshoku no enogu
Shoujo no kokoro wa shiroi KYANBASU no naka...

Shiroi KYANBASU wa shoujo no sekai
Doko e demo iketa shi nandemo te ni haitta
Mujaki na yokubou ga KYANBASU wo umeteyuku...

"Watashi... otomodachi ga hoshii na...."

Hashiradokei wa gozenreiji wo tsuge
Tozasareta shoujo no sekai wa yagate
Migite ni kami wo... hidarite ni akuma wo yadoshita...

Ihen ni kidzuita kyounin ga
Shi ni monogurui de shoujo no hosoi kubi wo shimeru

"Sonna ni kanashisou na kao wo shite doushita no Papa?
Sou da... Papa no shiawase wo kaite ageru."

Usugurai heya de hokori wo kabutta yaneura no...

...akai KYANBASU to kara ni natta enogu....

English:

The little girl in the attic, connected to chains in a dimly-lit room----
The world she can see from the window, is a blue distorted fantasy...

The little girl in the attic, kept by a madman in a dimly-lit room----
The moonlight that shines in, guides her slender fingertips...

The only toy given to her,
Is a white canvas and three colors of paint.

She painted day after day,
Because within the white canvas, there's everything.
She painted day after day;
As long as she had three colors of paint, she could paint everything...

What was given to her,
Were minimum meals to restrain her body to the attic.
A white canvas and three colors of paint----
Her mind is within the white canvas...

The white canvas is the girl's world;
She could go anywhere, and obtained anything she wanted.
Her innocent desire, slowly fills the canvas...

"I wish... I had friends...."

The wall-clock struck midnight,
And her world, shut away,
Soon sheltered a god in the right hand... and a demon in the left...

The madman, having noticed a change,
Wrings the girl's slender neck in desperation.

"Why are you making such a sad expression, Papa?
I know!... I'll paint happiness for you."

A red canvas and paints that have become empty...

...in a dusty attic, in a dimly-lit room....

Kanji:

薄暗い部屋で　鎖に繋がれた屋根裏の少女
窓から見える世界は蒼く歪んだ幻想...

薄暗い部屋で 狂人に飼われた屋根裏の少女
差し込む月明かりが細い指先を導く...

少女に与えられた唯一の玩具は
白いキャンバスと3色の絵の具

少女は　来る日も来る日も描いた
白いキャンバスの中には　　全てがあるから
少女は 　来る日も来る日も描いた
3色の絵の具があれば　全てを描けた...

少女に与えられたのは
躰を屋根裏に繋ぎ止める為の　最低限の食事
白いキャンバスと3色の絵の具
少女の心は　白いキャンバスの中...

白いキャンバスは　少女の世界
何処へでも行けたし　何でも手に入った
無邪気な欲望が　キャンバスを埋めてゆく...

「私...お友達が　欲しいな...。」

柱時計は　午前零時を告げ
閉ざされた少女の世界はやがて
右手に神を... 左手に悪魔を宿した...

異変に気付いた狂人が
死に物狂いで少女の細い頸を絞める

「そんなに悲しそうな顔をして　どうしたのパパ？
そうだ...パパの幸せを描いてあげる。」

薄暗い部屋で　埃をかぶった屋根裏の...

...赤いキャンバスと空になった絵の具...。

[EJTranslations]

This is good! I'm just going to nitpick a bit, like I do.

>The little girl in the attic, connected to chains in a dimly-lit room----

I know it is literally "connected," but I would say "chained" or "bound in chains" or something like that, because "connected to chains" both sounds really unnatural and doesn't quite give the same sense of being trapped.

>Why are you making such a sad expression, Papa?

I would go with "... making such a sad face," because it sounds both more natural (idk, I wouldn't say it's wrong, but something about "making an expression" just feels clunky to me?) and more childlike.

[Haze~]

Those nitpicks are always helpful, so nitpick away!

I know it is literally "connected," but I would say "chained" or "bound in chains" or something like that, because "connected to chains" both sounds really unnatural and doesn't quite give the same sense of being trapped.

I wanted to somehow keep the "chains" in, and couldn't think of anything better at the time, so I just went with the literal translation, but I guess it did end up sounding a lot less intense than what it originally was.

Thanks for the help!