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Thread: help with 虹色の少年

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    Default help with 虹色の少年

    http://www5.atwiki.jp/hmiku/pages/24248.html

    Verse 7
    雨の中の街は すべての色を消し去って
    ただまっさらへと 世界を戻してくけど
    夢見がち、寂しがりな僕へと泣いた事が
    今歩き出した始まりの音なんだろう
    I'm having trouble working out how 僕へ fits in.

    Simplifying it, I get 僕へ泣いた事が歩き出した始まりの音だ. Leaving out 僕へ, it basically seems to mean, "My crying is the sound a new start". But how does 僕へ make sense? Walking towards myself?

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    Default Re: help with 虹色の少年

    All I can think is that maybe the 始まりの音 is what's going towards the singer? But grammatically that doesn't seem to quite make sense either. What a weird line.

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    Default Re: help with 虹色の少年

    Thanks for looking at it. I guess I'll leave it as an unresolved issue and translate it literally somehow.

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    Default Re: help with 虹色の少年

    The city is crying, I think.

    Or the sky above it.
    Last edited by bambooXZX; 10-03-2015 at 03:25 AM.

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    Default Re: help with 虹色の少年

    Quote Originally Posted by bambooXZX View Post
    The city is crying, I think.

    Or the sky above it.
    I think the latter is correct. The rain is the sky crying.

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    Default Re: help with 虹色の少年

    Thanks for the suggestion.

    In my interpretation of the song, I see the rain washing the town white representing the troubles and vicissitudes of life undoing the singer's dreams. Though changed by them, the singer is looking at the whiteness as an opportunity to paint new dreams.

    So how does that answer 僕へ? The sky is raining towards him? Here's a translation if anyone cares to critique it:
    The town in the rain will lose all its colour,
    and the world gets taken back to being pure white.
    But it's crying to me, the dreamer, the loner,
    is now the sound that I've set off again.

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    Default Re: help with 虹色の少年

    I think you've got the gist of this verse, and your translation more or less reflects that understanding. To be more specific, the whole phrase 夢見がち、寂しがりな僕へ functions as an adverbial phrase, modifying the verb 泣く. (One other possibility is that the と here is quotational, but I think that is less likely.)

    Two comments that I have are:
    - Since the original verse is in essence one long sentence, the translation should also retain that structural coherence. (The last translated line is missing the subject.)
    - The concessive relationship between the two clauses is not quite clear in your translation. My own interpretation is that the town in the rain will wipe away all the colors and return the word to its original state, but the fact that it cried to (or for) the narrator signals the sound of the beginning--of him having just taken his first step forward. Interpretations are of course very subjective, but in any case, I think it'd be nice to emphasize the contrast more.

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    Default Re: help with 虹色の少年

    waah! the missing subject is a punctuation error ...
    The town in the rain will lose all its colour,
    and the world gets taken back to being pure white.
    But its crying to me, the dreamer, the loner,
    is now the sound that I've set off again.
    The crying is the sound. Anyway, I'm happy with that now. Thanks for the help.

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