Sekai wa Koi ni Ochiteiru

[Raichu]

Sekai wa Koi ni Ochiteiru

Firstly, the page is too wide to fit on my monitor. Could you split the long lines?

Secondly, more an issue of interpretation than translation, in these lines

(verse 2) Isogashii kanjou kodou ni RINKU suru
(transl.: Busy feelings link together in our hearts)

(verse 5) Hajimete no kanjou kodou ni RINKU suru
(transl.: The feelings I'm having for the first time link together in my heart)

I think that the sense is that the emotions are linked with her heartbeat. I.e.,

Feelings of being busy are linked with my heartbeat [because when I'm rushed my heart beats faster]

Feelings [of being in love] I'm having for the first time are linked with my heartbeat [because being in love it makes my heart beat]

Could you ask Rizuchan for their opinion?

Third point, (verse 9) Aoi natsu no tsubomi is translated "A bud in the blue summer". Wouldn't it make more sense for it to mean "a blue bud in the summer"? Or to preserve the ambiguity across, how about "a blue summer bud"?

[EJTranslations]

I split up the lines--does that look better for you? (I have a large screen myself, so it's hard to tell.)

I'll PM @Rizuchan about the rest.

[Raichu]

yes more easy to read now thanks.

[Rizuchan]

Sorry for just now getting to this, my email address for PMs is still one I don't use anymore...

Anyway, I agree with the corrections regarding "kodou ni RINKU suru". As for "aoi natsu no tsubomi", I'm not so sure.

It's ambiguous and could go either way to begin with. Honestly my first thought when I looked at it again was that it might be a green bud (as opposed to the bud of a blue flower) - like, the flower that bloomed fell in love in spring, but the [young, literally late-blooming] green bud fell in love in summer. And conveniently, "green" has a similar connotation in English as "青い".

But then I thought some more, and I wonder if it's not some word play too. This song was the opening theme to Ao Haru Ride, which itself is word play on "青春". So "aoi natsu" could be related to that too - if "youth" is a blue spring, is it a blue summer for a late bloomer? Unfortunately if it is supposed to be a call back to the title, you'd have to go with blue instead of green, since the official English title is "Blue Spring Ride" and most fans know it by that. So there's not really a good way to make it ambiguous, except maybe that "bud" has enough of the "young, inexperienced" connotation on its own.

There's also the distinct possibility I'm overthinking it at this point. I'd like other opinions if possible.

[Raichu]

I agree it's open to interpretation. So what do you think of "a blue summer bud" to try to preserve the ambiguity?

[Rizuchan]

I don't think blue summer bud is really ambiguous in English, because English has a (somewhat) set order for adjectives. I think most native English speakers are going to read "blue summer bud" as a blue bud. But I'm probably being nit-picky there.