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Thread: Koi no Shirushi - Kaminomi (correction)

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    Default Koi no Shirushi - Kaminomi (correction)

    http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/kam...noshirushi.htm

    This translation makes the same huge mistake every other translation of Koi no Shirushi makes: translating "PIRIODO wo utta" into "hit with a period". "Utsu" usually means "to hit" but here it means "to be ended", so it actually just means "that period [of my life] has ended".

    It also has some other mistakes, such as translating "ameagari" to "rainy sky" instead of "after it rains". It also has some bad English, such as "unreplaceable" instead of "irreplaceable".

    The romaji also has a lot of mistakes, the biggest one is mishearing "sutto" (suddenly) as "zutto" (forever), the translation makes that mistake as well.

    Here's a correction of the romaji, I also fixed it to use the same romaji style I see in the rest of Animelyrics:
    KOI NO SHIRUSHI kimi no me ni mitsuketa no ano hi
    kidzuita toki mune no jishaku mawari dashita
    Sagashite ita tokimeki ni yatto deaetta no
    doko ni itemo mitsukedasu yo mou nidoto mayowanai

    Kitto futari wa unmei da yo nan'oku mo no hito ga ite
    deau no wa KOMPYUUTA demo muri
    Heibon sugiru mainichi ni PIRIODO wo utta no
    tameiki sotsugyou dekiru no yatto

    Aozora ga mabushii kimi ga iru fuukei wa
    shiawase no OORA afuredasu no tomaranai yo
    Eki mae no funsui niji wo tsukutte iru yo
    kimi wo matsu jikan sae mo kakegaenai PURESHASU na toki

    KOI NO SHIRUSHI watashi ni mo mitsukete kureta ne
    onaji kimochi onaji kakera wakeatteru
    Haguresou na toki datte daijoubu dayo ne?
    doko ni itemo mitsukedashite sou watashi koko ni iru

    Te wo tsunaidara mirai no DOA sutto aita ki ga suru no
    mou nanimo kowai mono nai kara
    Atarashii yume fukurande mainichi ga Merry-Go-Round
    aenai toki ni wa setsunai kedo

    Ame no hi mo suki dayo kimi no kasa atatakai
    itoshisa eien nakunaranai shinjiteru yo
    Ameagari no sora ni niji wo miagete futari
    itsumademo te wo tsunaide arukitai yo hikari no naka wo

    Aozora ga mabushii kimi ga iru fuukei wa
    shiawase no OORA afuredasu no tomaranai yo
    Eki mae no funsui niji wo tsukutte iru yo
    kimi wo matsu jikan sae mo kakegaenai PURESHASU na toki

    Ame no hi mo suki da yo kimi no kasa atatakai
    itoshisa eien nakunaranai shinjiteru yo
    Ameagari no sora ni niji wo miagete futari
    itsumademo te wo tsunaide arukitai yo hikari no naka wo

    La la la...
    There are enough mistakes that I think it's better just to rewrite the translation. Here's mine:
    The sign of love: I found it in it your eyes that day
    When I realized it, the compass in my heart started to spin
    I finally found the excitement I'd been looking for
    No matter where you are, I will find you, and I'll never be lost again

    We must be destined to be together, if we managed to find each other
    Out of billions of people, it seems impossible, even online
    The monotonous days of my old life are all over now
    I can finally move on from my sighing

    The scene you're in with a brilliant blue sky
    Overflows with an aura of happiness that never ends
    The fountain in front of the station is creating a rainbow
    Even the time I spend waiting for you is irreplacable and precious

    The sign of love: You found it in me too
    We share the same feelings and the same memories
    In the times you feel lost, are you still okay?
    No matter where you are, go out to find me, because I'm right here

    When we hold hands, it feels like the door to the future has opened
    Because I have nothing to be afraid of anymore
    I'm filled with new dreams, and every day is a merry-go-round
    But the time we spend apart is still painful

    I like rainy days, too, because it's warm under your umbrella
    I have faith that this feeling of love will never end
    When it stops raining, we see a rainbow in the sky above
    I want to hold your hand forever, walking in this light

    The scene you're in with a brilliant blue sky
    Overflows with an aura of happiness that never ends
    The fountain in front of the station is creating a rainbow
    Even the time I spend waiting for you is irreplacable and precious

    I like rainy days, too, because it's warm under your umbrella
    I have faith that this feeling of love will never end
    When it stops raining, we see a rainbow in the sky above
    I want to hold your hand forever, walking in this light

    La la la...
    I translate "Koi no Shirushi" to "the sign of love" in my lyrics, so the English translation of the title should probably be updated accordingly to:
    The Sign of Love
    "The Evidence of Love" is bad English, but if we were to change it to "Evidence of Love" it wouldn't necessarily be wrong. It would sound too technical and academic for use in a song, though, so I think matching the lyrics is more important.
    Last edited by Serine; 10-29-2015 at 03:05 AM.

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    Default Re: Koi no Shirushi - Kaminomi (correction)

    Yeah, I think given the three errors you mention and some other things like the interpretation of "きっとふたりは 運命だよ 何億もの人がいて / 出逢うのは コンピュータでも無理" (which doesn't seem to take into account that the two lines are connected), there's enough justification here for a retranslation. (Three errors or more is the general rule of thumb, although the magnitude of the errors is also taken into account.) I'm replacing the translit too, but in the future, could you point out more specific mistakes, so that I don't have to spend so much time combing through the original translit to figure out just how much of it is wrong? Thanks!

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    Default Re: Koi no Shirushi - Kaminomi (correction)

    Quote Originally Posted by Serei View Post
    http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/kam...noshirushi.htm

    This translation makes the same huge mistake every other translation of Koi no Shirushi makes: translating "PIRIODO wo utta" into "hit with a period". "Utsu" usually means "to hit" but here it means "to be ended", so it actually just means "that period [of my life] has ended".
    ピリオドを打つ means "to put an end to," not "that period has ended." Note that 打つ is a transitive verb, not intransitive verb. Also, ピリオド refers to the punctuation mark, not the time interval.

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    Default Re: Koi no Shirushi - Kaminomi (correction)

    Quote Originally Posted by Hinamawari View Post
    ピリオドを打つ means "to put an end to," not "that period has ended." Note that 打つ is a transitive verb, not intransitive verb. Also, ピリオド refers to the punctuation mark, not the time interval.
    Thanks, that does make more sense. Fortunately, that doesn't change my translation.

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    Default Re: Koi no Shirushi - Kaminomi (correction)

    Quote Originally Posted by Serei View Post
    Thanks, that does make more sense. Fortunately, that doesn't change my translation.
    If you choose to ignore the connotation of the original sentence. There is a very big difference between "I've put a stop to it" and "It has ended."

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    Default Re: Koi no Shirushi - Kaminomi (correction)

    Quote Originally Posted by Hinamawari View Post
    If you choose to ignore the connotation of the original sentence. There is a very big difference between "I've put a stop to it" and "It has ended."
    I mean, this:
    The monotonous days of my old life are all over now
    I don't think it needs any changes. It's more literally "[I've] put an end to the too-plain everyday life [I] used to have" but I don't think the active voice is necessary to preserve here, especially since the subject isn't explicit – you could interpret it as "[The fact that we met] put an end to the too-plain everyday life [I] used to have" or "[You] put an end to the too-plain everyday life [I] used to have"

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