These are all viewed from my perspective, thus, I might be wrong, and some are deeply opinionated (especially in regards to the grammar), but here we go:
"Hayate mitai ni nigedashita"
- just my take on it, but shouldn't the English translation be, "We escaped from (object in question) like a hurricane/gale" instead of "We escaped from what seemed like a hurricane"? I'm sorry if this ends up as spam or incorrect. If it does, well I would be thankful for the education (new to JP).
another one;
the romaji for blade was written as yaoba, whereas it should be yaiba. I have no idea whether or not this is another Japanese thing (the language is very extra lol), but it wouldn't hurt to look at it.
also, i think "I broke out of a long dream" would be better then using "the". Same with "the unmapped place", where it would seem more appropriate to say, "an unmapped place", considering they are probably breaking out of the walls THEN venturing out into an unfamiliar world. "The" is for specifics, or something you already have an adequate batch of information about. Sooo yeah. It isn't Japanese, buuut just thought I would point it out haha
"Saa" could rather be translated as, "Now" instead of "So". And shouldn't "Fukai yami" be "Deep darkness" instead of "Thick darkness"?
"Ueta kedamono mitai datta, oretachi no me" could be "Our eyes have come to look like those of starving beasts'."
"Sasatta yaiba wo omoikiri nuite itta" could also be "I had pulled out the blade I used to stab..." or something of the sort. "Extracted" and "Stuck" just look a little awkward in my opinion, but of course, it IS just an opinion lol.
That's all, thanks for your time ^ ^
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