https://www.animelyrics.com/anime/tokyoghoula/munou.htm
Please refer to the above link for the lyrics I wish to correct. Let me begin by saying thank you to the original translator. Happyblossom, I am a professional translator, and I got my start doing what you did here. You should be proud of your efforts, and I encourage you to keep at it.
That said, this translation has some significant issues. Here is my proposed alternatvie translation:
let me tell you what I saw / when I dreamt of my own birth
“live a beautiful life” / the city of the womb / we clapped our hands and laughed
we drank every last drop of the paint / and the rainbow’s colors changed
I started wanting to be held / I lost the ability to walk on my own feet
we were laughing together
we gave our love away to toys
o untouched children
I want to destroy you with a word!
the girls lit the fire / in a far-off city, someone died
tempted by the lemmings / we reach the ends of this world
please don’t grow strong / amidst the corruption, the sirens cry drove me mad
I’ll be waiting in the amusement park
you *know* the architecture of heaven
I suppressed the urge to vomit / the clouds rained iron
mommy and daddy were wrong / you can’t put the numbers back how they were
you kept praying, didn’t you?
giving water to fake flowers
we laughed together
I want to give my love away to you
I want you to feel the breath of lambs
and I want to burn your worthless little picture book!
I’ve lit fire to your body
the sound of it is driving you mad, isn’t it? the words, “go *live*”
*******
Thank you for listening! I hope this is helpful.
fall rose
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