Things you should NOT say during a job interview. (version 2.0)

[Skylar1]

I made this thread many years ago. Time to test it out again, the title speaks for itself, so have at it

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

AYYYYYYyo homeboi(girl) where dem jobs at?

[ALiiiReza]

I find this video quite useful ... check it out !
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_...re?language=en

[DeathBlade/13.666]

Don't come in sounding like you belong on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour as the next Redneck comedian.

"Oh yeah, I'm qualified enough to GET 'R' DONE!!!!"

[Arrisu]

"I'm depressed."
Seriously, even if you are (which I'm sorry to hear), never tell them that you are suffering from a mental illness.
There's still too much stigma about that going around.

[someoneofforumpast]

Q: We know that you have applied for a job here. If given an offer to both which would you choose? I would choose this one because the process has been easier.

[Kirito]

"Why should we hire you?"

"Cuz ya'll are hiring"

[360 FistKick!]

Hey! You guys looken for a new boss?

[Anime Forum]

I get off to little anime girls

[.:neuko:.]

So how many executives do I have to shag to get up the corporate ladder here?

[Skylar1]

Am I allowed to use my whisky flask on the salesfloor, or just on my break?

[Sympathy]

I like your sales floor setup, but where's the company vomitorium?

OH i can tell you what i said at my very first job interview. it was for a stocking job at Target.

Q: so what are some of your skills?
A: uhh... i can move boxes.

true story and i didn't get the job

[someoneofforumpast]

So the secretary is pretty hot right?

[.:neuko:.]

As you can see from my CV, I've made a successful career out of sales. How, you ask? By forcing... *shakes head* I mean, manipulating... *shakes head* I mean, persuading consumers to buy crappy/broken products. For instance: Apple TV, Windows Vista, Segways, Snuggies, covers for dust covers... You name it! In fact I'm so good at sales, by the end of this interview I will have sold this comb to Sir Slaphead there!

[Anime Forum]

I like your sales floor setup, but where's the company vomitorium?

OH i can tell you what i said at my very first job interview. it was for a stocking job at Target.

Q: so what are some of your skills?
A: uhh... i can move boxes.

true story and i didn't get the job

You call?





O-Oh... Nvm.

[Kurano]

"So... What's the suicide rate of this job? How high is it?"

[mimiruchan]

Depending on the company - not to say anything about your goals or future plans....
Ex. I plan on starting a family pretty soon. Or, I'm going on vacation in a month.

[Holocast]

"So what do you do during your free time?"

"I like to watch copious amounts of hent- I mean TV. I like to watch TV.. "

[Middy]

Does the company filter block Reddit?

[Peppermint Hearts]

1. This interview is so boring, let's talk about something else, like The Rose Bowl...
2. I promise not to sleep too much on the job, how many job candidates can promise that.
3. FYI, this may come up eventually, I was a member of the KKK for only 2 months, I didn't work out for me though.
4.
5. Milky Holmes lost their toys, I spend most of my spare time helping the girls look for them. That's a charitable cause isn't it?

[mimiruchan]

I work in a Mall and was walking by this kid doing an interview with some guy on a bench, and the interviewer asked if the kid was good at reading.
His reply, "I'm not really into reading anything. Well, I guess comics, do comics count?"
The interviewer's face was a little comical. Kid completely mistook the question..

[.:neuko:.]

I guarantee that I'm more qualified for this job than all the applicants put together.

For I have killed them.

[Sulkin]

I can't work night shifts because that's when I go clubbing. Sorry.