Thanks for the feedback! I had another look at kasi-time and it looks like some of the spacing in the lyrics needed fixing as well. (Did this clear up the modification problem in the last stanza?) Also realised that I misheard 天 as 手, so I had to redo that part. And I missed out a pretty large repeat. Whoops.
Re: Now
I rechecked the lyrics, and it appears that there's supposed to be a space before 今, so it seems like it does mean a standalone 'now'...? I don't really want to put it in the next line because it'd alter the lyrics from the first two lines, and putting it before or after 'Sway beckoningly' would make the 'Sway' look like an imperative...
I intended for it to feel similar to 'Come, now' or 'Don't be afraid, now', but these are all imperatives, so I'm a little lost here.
Re: Behold
My English databanks seem to have had an error of sorts written in there, thanks for pointing that out.
Re: 始まる
Not quite sure what to do with this. I was also considering 'The day begins', 'The day starts', etc. I just realised that this translation sounds as though it could be Alicia singing to Akari. :)
I also realised that I left out the last two 始まる at the end of the song, and I'm not sure what to do with them, either. I left it as 'And begin anew' * 2, but admittedly the 'anew' is a really liberal addition, though it makes sense in the context of the show.
Re: Season
I originally meant this as the 'season' in 'season of love' or 'season of farewells' rather than one of the four seasons. Is there another substitute for 'time' that would sound better?
Re: Long past
I originally opted for this to avoid using 'far' twice in the same line/stanza, but I agree that it sounds awkward, so I changed it back.
Code:
「金の波 千の波」
"A Thousand Waves of Gold"
金の波 岸辺に
あこがれ目覚めるの 朝に
Yearning for the bank awash with waves of gold,
I wake in the morning
誰かのことを強く思う時
かかげた手のひらに愛がとまる
水の行方と風が示す未来
この惑星を包む希望 見つめて
When you hold someone close to your heart
Love finds a home in your palms of your upraised hands
The future shown to us by the wind and the course of the waters
Gaze upon the hope that embraces this planet
遠い雲 光が誘うように揺れる 今
金の波 岸辺に
あこがれ目覚めるの 朝に
始まる
Rays of light through the distant clouds Sway beckoningly, now
Yearning for the bank awash with waves of gold,
I wake in the morning
And we begin
明るい雨が優しい歌になる
ゆっくりと漕ぎ出す 怖れないで
どんな時でも空がそこにあるの
見上げるだけの力を与えて
The radiant rain becomes a gentle song
Row slowly now - don't be afraid
No matter the season, the sky will always be there
Giving you the strength to look upwards
天に届きそうに駆け上がるの
この思い
千の波はるかに
夢より遠くまで行こう
Feelings rushing to the surface
As though they could reach the sky
Far past a thousand waves
Let's set off for a place far beyond our dreams
遠い雲 光が誘うように揺れる 今
金の波 岸辺に
あこがれ目覚めるの
Rays of light through the distant clouds Sway beckoningly, now
Yearning for the bank awash with waves of gold,
I wake
天に届きそうに駆け上がるの
この思い
千の波はるかに
夢より遠くまで行こう
Feelings rushing to the surface
As though they could reach the sky
Far past a thousand waves
Let's set off for a place far beyond our dreams
始まる
始まる
And begin anew
And begin anew
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