Bad Jokes!

[DeathBlade/13.666]

Bad Jokes, Gotta love'em. I just come up with a bad joke the other day, I felt like sharing it, but at the same time, hearing more. So I made this thread.

PLEASE!!!! Keep It CLEAN! No dirty jokes, No rascist jokes, No politicial jokes, no sexist jokes, and nothing on religion that might be offensive. And to that No "Momma Jokes" and "Chuck Norris Facts/Jokes". They're WAY TOO Overdone. Please try not to be offended, or offend anyone else. I only want people shaking/smacking their heads to how lame/bad the jokes get. Good Jokes are welcome here too, and will probably be used later on.

And just to start this thread off right!~

"I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for her birthday and she said, 'Something with a lot of diamonds.' I hope she likes the deck of cards I got her."

And the one that started me on this,
"How can you tell if you car's an alcoholic? If you start it and it goes 'RUMMMMM'."

[SwiftKill GunToting]

How does a girl vampire flirt?

She bats her eyes.

[-GAZKUL-]

[OtakuInu!!!]

I just heard this earlier...

A meteoroid is a meteor which is still in space
A meteor is when it's in the earth's atmosphere
A meteorite is a meteor which landed on the earth's surface
What do you call a meteor which didn't land on the earth's surface?

A meteorWRONG.

[ZombieWolf2508]

I one dated a girl with one leg. Her name was Ilene, she was the manager down at IHop.

[DeathBlade/13.666]

Thank you Gazkul. I love the movie, but I love the song even more.

The old folks no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and Says,"Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football." A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says" Touchdown, tie score." After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7." Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressures on the old man. He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says, "What the hell was that?" The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

[th_afuro_samurai8]

why dod the chicken cross the road?
because it was headed to the store.

[.:neuko:.]

How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

Poke him on!

[SuXrys]

- What did the carrot say to the onion?
- What?
- Nothing, vegetables don't talk!



Hahahahahahaha! *laughing*

[Eris]

[RyuTama]

[Eris]

[RyuTama]

My bad joke is

[.:neuko:.]

What's the difference between a tea bag and England?

A teabag can stay in the cup longer.

[RyuTama]

Voldemort: Why so sirius?!

Sirius: Why so nosy?

Voldemort: ...

BA DUM TSSSH!

[SuXrys]

[" Zenon "]

what is the difference between the flash card and America ?
America is USA, while the flash card is USB.
I amnot sure if it was right like this bec I translated it from My language. : )