The partner of an anime fan

[ShrillBrute76]

So i was thinking that i am most definitely not the only anime watcher/fan/freak ( or whatever we call ourselves) that has a significant other. So i would like to see what you guys have to say about how they manage life with you and anime.

Would be nice to hear how you are able to keep a healthy relationship while simultaneously get you anime fix. Like how do you set up a binge session (if you're lucky enough to still be able to do so). Have you tried to introduce them to it? if so how did that go? Maybe something crazy happened... hell i don't know, just don't let me be the only one with this problem

So with my partner, we've been together for 4 years now, i find it difficult to watch as much as i'd like to. I have tried to introduce them to it, but we only managed to find Death note that interested us both, however the search continues for another!. Even though they agreed to try and start watching doesn't mean i was given permission to watch all the time like id love to. so when i feel a binge coming along i have to wait until they fall asleep before i can start, so i end up staying awake until 4:30 am leaving me with only an hour and a half to sleep before i need to get up again. Another problem i have is that i have a burning desire to tell them about the anime i just finished but its always a let down when they don't know whats going on or even worse don't care.

these are just some of my struggles, would love to hear some of yours and maybe how to solve them. Also im wondering if anyone has a partner just as into it as they are??

[ShrillBrute76]

Is this a boring topic or are you all just alone....

[someoneofforumpast]

I actually didn't see this topic come up when I was looking through new posts.

So basically like you mentioned I have been with my wife for 14 years now. She watched Naruto with me and a bunch of other anime, but she wasn't really interested and once we got married that ceased to exist completely.

So What I would do is limit your time don't exhaust yourself over a hobby. It becomes a problem if it starts to affect other areas of your life or work performance. I usually watch anime at a steady rate. and I have come to a compromise to watch/play video games on certain days of the week. Time depending. I don't however usually watch anime that has manga cause I can just read that at work.

[ShrillBrute76]

So after posting this here i asked my partner why they only watched death note with me and no other anime, and i was shocked to hear that they really want to watch more but death note is my only dubbed one. So now i guess if i want them to become more and more involved i have to start watching dub but i guess its better than not having them with me??

[someoneofforumpast]

So after posting this here i asked my partner why they only watched death note with me and no other anime, and i was shocked to hear that they really want to watch more but death note is my only dubbed one. So now i guess if i want them to become more and more involved i have to start watching dub but i guess its better than not having them with me??

Well I don't think I would seperate just because you have different interest. And yea you can start with dub as a gateway. I mean that is how everyone usually gets started and then work up to Subs not force it though. My wife watched Naruto in Subs with me.

Just ease into it man. I am just now getting my son into Anime and it is a slow start, but I had to do shows like Dragonball, Digimon, Pokemon, and he just started Yokai Watch on his own. So it is a slow ride, but they are all dubs. I will introduce subs when he is able to read better.

[ShrillBrute76]

Oh no there was definitely never the option of separation over this, its just a bonus

[cberg]

With any hobby, everything in moderation. It shouldn't consume your time so much that it becomes a topic of resentment for your significant other. And with every relationship, there comes compromise. If your partner just doesn't enjoy it, you'll need to concede to just not watching it as often. Also if there is a hobby your SO enjoys perhaps taking time to do it with them and show interest in their hobby, then your SO may be more inclined to reciprocate and spend time watching anime with you.

My husband and I enjoy anime, but we typically only watch a few episodes a week. Everything in moderation and of course we have other things we like to watch and do together. If there's an anime I know he won't particularly enjoy that I want to watch then I'll just to watch it on my off time when he's not around.

[ShrillBrute76]

wait... why is everyone seeing resentment or hostility from me towards my partner because of this thread? did i say something to imply that?

[someoneofforumpast]

So i was thinking that i am most definitely not the only anime watcher/fan/freak ( or whatever we call ourselves) that has a significant other. So i would like to see what you guys have to say about how they manage life with you and anime.

Would be nice to hear how you are able to keep a healthy relationship while simultaneously get you anime fix. Like how do you set up a binge session (if you're lucky enough to still be able to do so). Have you tried to introduce them to it? if so how did that go? Maybe something crazy happened... hell i don't know, just don't let me be the only one with this problem

So with my partner, we've been together for 4 years now, i find it difficult to watch as much as i'd like to. I have tried to introduce them to it, but we only managed to find Death note that interested us both, however the search continues for another!. Even though they agreed to try and start watching doesn't mean i was given permission to watch all the time like id love to. so when i feel a binge coming along i have to wait until they fall asleep before i can start, so i end up staying awake until 4:30 am leaving me with only an hour and a half to sleep before i need to get up again. Another problem i have is that i have a burning desire to tell them about the anime i just finished but its always a let down when they don't know whats going on or even worse don't care.

these are just some of my struggles, would love to hear some of yours and maybe how to solve them

Those bolded are just some words that sound like resentment because of your desire to watch a lot of anime.

[ShrillBrute76]

okay damn i can see how they can be misinterpreted and im sorry for that, it was not what i meant.

1-Would be nice to hear how you are able to keep a healthy relationship while simultaneously get you anime fix. here i mean that anime is the possible infection to the healthy relationship and not that the relationship is in the way of the anime.

2- just don't let me be the only one with this problem. my problem is my struggle to introduce them to anime and not that they are the problem.

3-i find it difficult to watch as much as i'd like to' and 'Even though they agreed to try and start watching doesn't mean i was given permission to watch all the time like id love to. are true but that doesnt mean i use them as resentment towards my partner, it is just something i would like to compromise over.

my goal here, in this thread, is to hear how to introduce anime more into the relationship in such a way that it is not detrimental to it, because at the end of the day, like you both have said, anime is the hobby they are my life

[LadyAkita]

My significant other manages pretty well considering he was the one that got me into anime. lol Before I met my husband, all I knew about was Pokemon and Sailor Moon. We've got a nearly 4 year old child together so not much time for binge watching of anything but we do watch a little anime together ever so often in our spare time. Any other time I just watch some on my pc alone = )

[Anime Forum]

With any hobby, everything in moderation. It shouldn't consume your time so much that it becomes a topic of resentment for your significant other. And with every relationship, there comes compromise. If your partner just doesn't enjoy it, you'll need to concede to just not watching it as often. Also if there is a hobby your SO enjoys perhaps taking time to do it with them and show interest in their hobby, then your SO may be more inclined to reciprocate and spend time watching anime with you.

My husband and I enjoy anime, but we typically only watch a few episodes a week. Everything in moderation and of course we have other things we like to watch and do together. If there's an anime I know he won't particularly enjoy that I want to watch then I'll just to watch it on my off time when he's not around.

Only partially true. With this logic, only the opinion the OP's partner would matter. If the OP's partner is completely aware that anime is a huge part of his/her life then the partner has to compromise as well. OP should not have to concede his/her watching time just to please his/her partner because that isn't a relationship anymore, its a doomed future.

I'm not saying OP has to consume every passing second with anime, but his/her partner better be ready to compromise too.

[cberg]

Only partially true. With this logic, only the opinion the OP's partner would matter. If the OP's partner is completely aware that anime is a huge part of his/her life then the partner has to compromise as well. OP should not have to concede his/her watching time just to please his/her partner because that isn't a relationship anymore, its a doomed future.

I'm not saying OP has to consume every passing second with anime, but his/her partner better be ready to compromise too.

Hence why I spoke of the reciprocation. But it boils down to only you have ownership of your own actions. You cannot determine someone else's commitment to a relationship or actions; however, you can set the bar and lead by example. Don't lead a relationship to failure by setting certain expectations of other's actions based on your own. Instead let the actions speak for themselves and build up or move on from there. Otherwise you are doomed for resentment- One of the biggest killers of relationships.

I've been married going on 9 years this year, will be together for 12. There are some things he or I had to concede on, other areas where we compromise and mostly those that we work out where both benefit and enjoy. We've got ourselves a pretty nice thing going. It takes time, communication, and understanding to build a relationship so amicable.

@Shrill Sorry if I interpreted it wrong. But the way I read it is that you do not want to reduce your anime watching to accommodate the time commitment of a relationship. And Instead get your partner to buy into watching anime as much as you do. Which is unrealistic, especially if your partner doesn't have all that much interest in it.
Now if that's not the case and all you want to do is introduce them to more anime they might enjoy and you can share, that's a different story. Find out your SO's favorite shows/ movies and find similar animes. You mention they would prefer dubs, so there's a start. And like I already said, if your SO watches them with you, make sure you make time for their interests. Good luck and mostly have fun exploring animes with your SO.

[Anime Forum]

Hence why I spoke of the reciprocation. But it boils down to only you have ownership of your own actions. You cannot determine someone else's commitment to a relationship or actions; however, you can set the bar and lead by example. Don't lead a relationship to failure by setting certain expectations of other's actions based on your own. Instead let the actions speak for themselves and build up or move on from there. Otherwise you are doomed for resentment- One of the biggest killers of relationships.

While you certainly only have control of your actions and that's obvious, its also true that a relationship requires effort from both ends and if OP is required to lose a huge chunk of his/her anime time to keep their relationship going, that'd certainly lead to resentment as well.

I'm only saying this because you worded it in a way where its all on OP to concede and not both had to concede to a certain degree. Though, it seems you realize that so its all good.

[Skylar1]

Having common interests with the person you could potentially spend the rest of your life is kinda an important factor. Life is too short to really have arguements about what to do for fun or watch on tv with a partner imo.

[Sympathy]

my significant other hates anime, so when i put on an OVA she decides she'd rather have sex than watch it with me. it's a win win.

[Dunn x Dolo]

My wife doesn't watch anime at all. She doesn't have a problem with me watching anime either. Usually if I want to watch anime I go watch it on my tv (the big living room tv) and she will stay in our room and watch whateva she wants to watch. That's kinda how its always been since we been together and how we have compromised. She knew when she met me from day 1 that I was an anime fan and that didn't stop her from being with me up until marrying me. The only time she will say something is if its really inappropriate (nudity, blood, gore) and the kids come in or something, but its really never a complaint. Its more like "Kids are coming up front so be careful with what you are watching."


I say find somebody that can respect the fact that you watch anime. They don't have to watch it with you or even watch it all, but as long they respect that you enjoy watching it then its something that can be easily worked though. As far as finding somebody that will accept you watching anime 24/7 though....that's kinda tough. You will probably need somebody with the same amount of love for anime as you have.

[ShrillBrute76]

Okay so we've established that watching anime with them has to be a compromise and that the time we spend doing so cant be taken to the extremes. The time in which we watch should be our own time and not at their expense. okay so watching has been dealt with, but how about when you feel the urge to tell them about it? should we keep know that they arent interested and suppress it? which seems harsh to me because my thoughts and opinions should matter to them no matter the subject matter. OR: is it selfish of me to expect them to fake interest just so i can give my opinion on something i know they dont care for? I know i should think compromise but how exactly would you meet in the middle of that?

[Dunn x Dolo]

Okay so we've established that watching anime with them has to be a compromise and that the time we spend doing so cant be taken to the extremes. The time in which we watch should be our own time and not at their expense. okay so watching has been dealt with, but how about when you feel the urge to tell them about it? should we keep know that they arent interested and suppress it? which seems harsh to me because my thoughts and opinions should matter to them no matter the subject matter. OR: is it selfish of me to expect them to fake interest just so i can give my opinion on something i know they dont care for? I know i should think compromise but how exactly would you meet in the middle of that?

In your case I guess the best option would be to find somebody that has at least a slight interest in anime. That way you can actually talk to them about anime and not get that "IDGAF" look. The more interested in anime they are, the better it would seem for you. The fact that you want to be able to share what you saw, or talk about it lets me know that you do need somebody who watches anime. They don't have to watch it as much as you, but they would be more open to having conversations with you about it than somebody who probably is not interested. I think it would be harder to find somebody who would "pretend" like they interested or fake interest like you said earlier.


Sometimes I wish I could tell my wife about an awesome anime moment I just watched, but she would just look at me like im stupid lol. Luckily, my oldest and my middle son watch anime so I can always share my stories with them. Theres that option, have some children and hope they share your enthusiasm. (just joking though. Don't have kids just to share you anime stories. That would be stupid.)

[someoneofforumpast]

@ShrillBrute76 If you have the urge to discuss an anime......... Find the appropriate category..... create a thread..... and discuss OR find a anime chat of some sort and others that share your interest.

I don't wake my wife up every time I get so giddy about something that happened just to share the good news. She would kill me when I finally go to sleep lol cause her care level has been at a 0 for quite some time. Just know that if your SO won't talk to you about it then just find commonality with other's who enjoy it as much as you. Get that portion out of you in a non-destructive way.

[ShrillBrute76]

I guess this is all pointless in the end, i mean surely if any of this was on the table it would have happened by now. I mean we've been together for long enough to get an idea on how the rest of our lives will go. i guess i started this thread to hear about those magical stories where everything just goes right and it would give me hope that it could come true for us as well. but it seems like i got what i actually needed, the truth. they have their hobbies and i have mine and then there are those we share, its unfair of me to try and push more and more of my own hobbies into that small section we share. I should just be happy that i get the chance to watch right?

[someoneofforumpast]

I guess this is all pointless in the end, i mean surely if any of this was on the table it would have happened by now. I mean we've been together for long enough to get an idea on how the rest of our lives will go. i guess i started this thread to hear about those magical stories where everything just goes right and it would give me hope that it could come true for us as well. but it seems like i got what i actually needed, the truth. they have their hobbies and i have mine and then there are those we share, its unfair of me to try and push more and more of my own hobbies into that small section we share. I should just be happy that i get the chance to watch right?

Well any inclination that they do like anime could just be apart of the courting faze. Meaning I am going to go out of my way to like what you like. But you do have those things like @cberg mentioned her and her hubby watch anime together, but they don't always have the same interest in a series and they watch their own stuff on their own time.

You get what you put into a relationship and you can't always be consumed with yourself is what we are saying. If you want it to work

[Jasanime]

My partner introduced me to anime about 5 or 6 years ago (Neon Genesis). Since then I have been rather obsessed with it, but he rarely watches with me. He tends to be distracted by his phone or his own thoughts, so he struggles to focus on subtitles (and I won't do dubbed except in very rare cases). I have gotten him to watch a few of my absolute faves with me (Madoka, Steins;Gate and Code Geass). But personally, I kind of like having this hobby to myself. He has his own interests that I'm not really into. But he still tells me all about them. And I tell him all about anime.
When I get a day off and he's not around, that's when I can binge-watch. Or sometimes I just tell him, like "I need to watch anime tonight" and he'll find his own thing to do. I think having separate hobbies is good and healthy as long as you show a bit of interest and respect for eachothers.

[phantoMastercrad]

What do you mean they? Aren't you talking about one person AKA that special person. I thought it was just a typo when you said they but then you kept saying it. So who is they?