Vocaloid (GUMI) - Eraser

[EJTranslations]

I'm not really sure I understand this song -- I thought I did when I started translating it, but now I'm just confused. So I should probably have given up, but oh well.

I want to delete for the all
笑えないこの自分なら
I want to delete for the world
泣きながら歩けばいい

I want to delete for the all
waraenai kono jibun nara
I want to delete for the world
nakinagara arukeba ii

I want to delete for the all
Since I can't smile
I want to delete for the world
I suppose I'll just walk while crying

La, la, la……

落とされた
虚無と孤独のなか目覚め
吸い慣れない空気の粒を飲み込む

otosareta
kyomu to kodoku no naka mezame
suinarenai kuuki no tsubu o nomikomu

Plunged
Into nothingness and loneliness, I awaken
I swallow the grains of air that I'm not used to breathing

落ちてゆく
最後の希望にすがりついた
ただ報われたくて
Sleeping, like a deadly Dawn

ochite yuku
saigo no kibou ni sugaritsuita
tada mukuwaretakute
Sleeping, like a deadly Dawn

Falling
I clung to my last hope
Only wanting something to show for it
Sleeping, like a deadly Dawn

強がりさえも当てにならないならば
掻き切るように
振り払って
消・す・よ

tsuyogari sae mo ate ni naranai naraba
kakikiru you ni
furiharatte
ke - su - yo

If I can't even rely on bravado
I'll make a clean cut
I'll brush it off
And erase it

今すぐ
I want to delete for the all
笑えないこの自分と
I want to delete for the world
襲うつむじ風抜け

ima sugu
I want to delete for the all
waraenai kono jibun to
I want to delete for the world
osou tsumuji kaze nuke

Now
I want to delete for the all
Along with my unsmiling self
I want to delete for the world
As a sudden whirlwind blows through

真っ黒なノートに描（えが）いた
マクロな感情で
そう　真っ白な昨日の幻想
壊せ　Eraser

makkuro na NOOTO ni egaita
MAKURO na kanjou de
sou masshiro na kinou no gensou
kowase Eraser

Pure white illusions of yesterday
Painted with my deep feelings in a
Pitch-black notebook:
Shatter them, eraser!

La, la, la……

目を閉じて
誰かを騙す言葉を吐く
ちっぽけな正義だけが生きる意味なの？

me o tojite
dareka o damasu kotoba o haku
chippoke na seigi dake ga ikiru imi na no?

I close my eyes
And spit out words to deceive people
Is this foolish justice the meaning of life?

目を開けて
尖る茨の道歩けば
何かが見えるでしょ？
Freezing, like a deadly Dawn

me o akete
togaru ibara no michi arukeba
nanika ga mieru desho?
Freezing, like a deadly Dawn

If I open my eyes
And walk the path of sharp thorns
What will I see?
Freezing, like a deadly Dawn

後悔さえ出来ない日々過ごすなら
遮るように
虹放って
消・す・よ

koukai sae dekinai hibi sugosu nara
saegiru you ni
niji hanatte
ke - su - yo

If I'm living my life without even being able to regret
Then to block it out
I'll set loose a rainbow
And erase it

今すぐ
I want to delete for the all
悲しみに流されて bye bye
I want to delete for the world
逃げることを恥じないで

ima sugu
I want to delete for the all
kanashimi ni nagasarete bye bye
I want to delete for the world
nigeru koto o hajinaide

Now
I want to delete for the all
While washed away by sadness, bye bye
I want to delete for the world
Without being ashamed of running away

真っ青な空を突き刺す
まっすぐな衝動で
そう　待っている明日（あした）のJigsaw
作れ　Eraser

massao na sora o tsukisasu
massugu na shoudou de
sou matte iru ashita no Jigsaw
tsukure Eraser

With an impetus so straight and true
I pierce through the clear blue sky
Yes, tomorrow is a jigsaw that is waiting for me
Create it for me, eraser!

Dawn, So long, Work Days
見えた灯台の火は遙か遠く
その色は過去も何も洗い流すから
Dawn, So long, Hard Days
まばゆく強く 迷う魂を導いてくれる
灯火は
消・さ・な・い・で

Dawn, So long, Work Days
mieta toudai no hi wa haruka tooku
sono iro wa kako mo nani mo arainagasu kara
Dawn, So long, Hard Days
mabayuku tsuyoku mayou tamashii o michibiite kureru
tomoshibi wa
ke - sa - na - i - de

Dawn, so long, work days
The fire of the lighthouse burns in the far distance
Its color washes away my past and everything else
Dawn, so long, hard days
My guiding light
Whose brilliance leads my lost soul onwards
Do not fade away!

そうさいますぐ

sou sa ima sugu

Yes, right now

I want to delete for the all
笑いたくて泣くキミと
I want to delete for the world
褒める勇気を握って

I want to delete for the all
waraitakute naku KIMI to
I want to delete for the world
homeru yuuki o nigitte

I want to delete for the all
Along with you who cry while wanting to smile
I want to delete for the world
With the courage to praise held tightly in my hand

真夜中不安を睨み
まっすぐで障害もない
真っ白な僕らの道を
駆けろ　Eraser

mayonaka fuan o nirami
massugu de shougai mo nai
masshiro na bokura no michi o
kakero Eraser

At midnight, on our pure white path
Straight ahead with no obstacles
While staring at the uncertainty
Dash, eraser!

I want to delete for the all
I want to delete for livin' People
I want to delete for the world

La, la, la……

[AzureDark]

I want to delete for the all
笑えないこの自分なら
I want to delete for the world
泣きながら歩けばいい
>I want to delete for the all
>Since I can't smile
>I want to delete for the world
>I'll have to walk while crying
I can't put my finger on it but it looks to be off. The crying isn't forced (she can pick another emotion to go with) and the emphasis of the last line is lost. Although I'm never comfortable with translating '-ba ii' due to its complexity (how it can take "rather" or "is best" and many more...)

ただ報われたくて
I just wanted some repayment
Sounds too moneyish, try
Waiting for something to show for it


真っ青な空を突き刺す
まっすぐな衝動で
そう　待っている明日（あした）のJigsaw
作れ　Eraser
>Puzzle of the tomorrow I've been waiting for
>Piercing through the blue sky with a
>Purely straight arrow:
>Make it, eraser!
Uhh... There's all sorts of things here, I dunno but I see it as
With an impetus so straight and true
I pierce the blue sky
Yes, for tomorrow is a jigsaw that is waiting for me
Create it for me, my eraser!

見えた灯台の火は遙か遠く
その色は過去も何も洗い流すから
>The far distant fire of the lighthouse I saw
>Washes away the past and everything else
Argg, you took away the impact of the line! You can put that 'kara' somewhere else too.
The fire of the lighthouse burns faraway from my view
Its color washes away my past and everything else

まばゆく強く 迷う魂を導いてくれる
灯火は
消・さ・な・い・で
>So this light
>That strongly, brilliantly leads my wandering soul onward...
>Don't erase it!
No, no one's gonna disturb the light because it's so far away...
Leading my lost soul with its gleaming brilliance
Please, my guiding light
Do. Not. Fade. Away. <- ooh same 5 syllables!

...I give up with the last stanza though, running out of battery anyway.

[animeyay]

A few more things:


今すぐ
I want to delete for the all
笑えないこの自分と
I want to delete for the world
襲うつむじ風抜け
Now
I want to delete for the all
I, who can't smile
I want to delete for the world
Am blown about by whirlwinds
Right now,
I want to delete for the all,
together with myself, who am unable to smile.
I want to delete for the world,
as a sudden whirlwind blasts through.


今すぐ
I want to delete for the all
悲しみに流されて bye bye
I want to delete for the world
逃げることを恥じないで
Now
I want to delete for the all
Washed away by sadness, bye bye
I want to delete for the world
There's no shame in running away
Right now
I want to delete for the all,
while being washed away by sadness, bye bye.
I want to delete for the world,
without being ashamed of running away.


I want to delete for the all
笑いたくて泣くキミと
I want to delete for the world
褒める勇気を握って
I want to delete for the all
You cry when you want to laugh
I want to delete for the world
I gather up my courage to praise you
I want to delete for the all.
Together with you, who end up in tears when wanting to smile...
I want to delete for the world.
...we grip in our hands the courage to praise.
I think the two Japanese lines are connected to each other, and NOT connected to the English lines. Although, it is possible to translate the first two lines as a group, and the last two lines as a group:
I want to delete for the all,
including you, who end up in tears when wanting to smile.
I want to delete for the world,
with the courage to praise gripped in my hand.
And you get an extremely depressing and slumpy atmosphere, which is not exactly the sense I get from the skippy and happy-ish impression of the song. Either way, the main reason that your original translation wouldn't work is because "kimi to homeru" can never mean "praise you"...


真夜中不安を睨み
まっすぐで障害もない
真っ白な僕らの道を
駆けろ　Eraser
Path of pure white which we
Pass along straight ahead with no obstacles,
Peering at midnight uncertainty:
Run down it, eraser!
At midnight, on our pure while path,
straight ahead and clear of obstacles,
while staring at the uneasiness,
dash, eraser!


You're right, though. The lyrics seem simple enough, but once you have to put them together, a lot of the lines just don't seem to make as much sense anymore. Kinda reminded me of some K-On songs I did a couple of weeks ago. Good times, good time...NOT!

[EJTranslations]

Thanks guys, I've fixed it up a bit. (I guess I'll have to give up on my dream of preserving the alliteration from the original; it's just not possible without sounding hideously stilted. Too bad.)