Being Shallow

[GrimStride™]

I don't see why we need to call anyone silly or be so defensive about this matter. Truth is , a lot of people value what they perceive as beauty , just as much as personality(like YokoKuwabara said).
And i don't see anything wrong with that. Maybe judging by looks alone can be a considered "shallow" but otherwise it's pretty normal to prefer a more aesthetically plasing partner.
@Miss M
Things aren't black and white. If you enjoy being with 500 pound , smelly gamers , that's fine. I think you should get off your moral high horse and stop judging people for not wanting to settle for someone whose looks they don't like.

[Miss Moonlight]

I don't see why we need to call anyone silly or be so defensive about this matter. Truth is , a lot of people value what they perceive as beauty , just as much as personality(like YokoKuwabara said).
And i don't see anything wrong with that. Maybe judging by looks alone can be a considered "shallow" but otherwise it's pretty normal to prefer a more aesthetically plasing partner.
@Miss M
Things aren't black and white. If you enjoy being with 500 pound , smelly gamers , that's fine. I think you should get off your moral high horse and stop judging people for not wanting to settle for someone whose looks they don't like.

Hm, I didn't think I was "judging" anyone or being rude. I was simply explaining my own opinions. That's what discussion forums are for ...

I also said nothing about "500 pound smelly gamers" nor did I say "you need to be with someone who you find unattractive". I simply pointed out the connection between certain traits don't always fit, and how over-generalizations aren't always true to reality.

Also, I think I explained pretty well in my posts how things aren't always black and white.

I'm not entirely sure of what "moral high horse" i'm on. Maybe you need to learn how to comprehend posts.

[Sanosuke23]

If you value form over functionality, in people or in objects, to the point where functionality is practically irrelevant, you are shallow. This is an observation not an insult, and anyone that uses it as one or interprets it as one when it isn't is stupid. If you value functionality over form, to the point where form is practically irrelevant, you are practical. This is an observation not a compliment, and anyone that uses it as one or interprets it as one when it isn't is stupid.

That being said, most people favor practicality and depth in a person. If this matters to you, feel free to change this about yourself. Complaining about how unfair or mean people are because they do not find these qualities(or lack thereof) endearing in you makes you whiny in addition to shallow/deep and impractical/practical. Similarly, if your standards for attractiveness are too high, good luck finding and keeping someone.

As for finding a romantic partner or partners, there is nothing wrong with basing your choices entirely or mostly upon looks PROVIDED ALL INVOLVED UNDERSTAND THIS. Implying otherwise through word or deed is duplicitous. In addition, if you come to a situation where you are no longer physically attracted to the person SO LONG AS YOU ARE OPEN AND HONEST WITH THEM ABOUT IT AND ATTEMPT TO DISCUSS IT WITH THEM, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Hell, if you want to lie and cheat I guess that's up to you, but don't expect people to think you're all that trustworthy. Untrustworthiness is another one of those traits which people typically find unpalatable. If this is a problem for you, well, it's your choice.

[brolyx74]

One thing I should clear up. I'm not really talking about marriage. I'm talking about like high school, college, bar dating. You know, it starts out dating, and could possible turn into a long term relationship, but that may or may not be your first goal. Its somewhat different when your in a long term commitment with someone, because you have formed a bond with them, but for like boyfriend girlfriend, college, bar scene, that sort of stuff, I see nothing wrong with it.

[Bugsiee]

I think it's okay to be shallow to a certain extent. I think you should draw the line when you start putting people down just to make yourself feel better or to make yourself seem perfect.

[3pleT]

And really, if you had a wife and she was scarred from an accident, she would instantly become your "friend"? getting a divorce over such an issue seems outright ridiculous.

Exactly in what part of my sentence did I say the word "instantly"? It's not like I would run for the door or form a quick verbal strategy to dump her. I just couldn't be satisfied with her looking like that and I would probably consider the alternatives after a while.

And I guess you can be supportive and stay with her because you desire to, which I imagine would be a lot cheaper than paying for surgery.

Desire to be romantically involved with someone who now barely looks like a woman? No, I would desire to be there for her because of what we had, but permanently sacrificing my sex life for her would be a bit too much.

Then again, if she wants the surgery (considering it would be her body), that's an altogether different issue.

Someone willing to suffer this much because of some crazy principle is an idiot and I don't associate with idiots.

But, telling her "you need this surgery because I can't stand to look at you" probably wouldn't work well in your favor.

Again, you appear to think of me as the real life version of some It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia character. I'm not an idiot, I would be subtle, take it slow, and start with the ways it would benefit her, not me.