Regret

[Daenerys]

Sometimes I like to ask people for a word, and then write a poem around it. The word today is brought to you by SerenityFaye.



Remorse fills my veins
Killing my attrition like novocaine
I've paid my penance in regret
This atonement I wont soon forget

Retribution is long and just
For my absolution, I will if I must
Forgiveness can come too late
In my reprieve I've become sedate

I'm amicable with my past choices
My conscience is ceasing with it's endless voices
You can't change your decisions
So you're left with 'what if' visions

[Kishiro]

What if you hadn't closed http://thesaurus.com, and what if more people would open it?!

[SerenityFaye]

awww! It is really good. I especially love the last two lines. I think a lot of people always are thinking about the what ifs. <333333333

[Daenerys]

Well thesaurus.com has unsafe advertising for your computer. I got an attempt to hack my browser, so I closed it.

[Anime Forum]

It was hawt. Good poem dear.
I actually liked the first few lines more than the last ones, but the whole poem was a really nice read.

[Lunafreya Fleuret]

Flame bait.. I said I meant it as a joke... but I guess I was right.. You do not like such jokes. Well if that is so. I will give you my apologies.

Dude, just shut the hell up. ._. Nobody cares, stop spamming her thread.

Awesome Poem, Gaga. ~

[Daenerys]

I'm shamelessly bumping this because I still want constructive replies.

[[email protected]]

Wow lady gaga this is nice. It's almost like rap. Hey you could get lil wayne to rap this part in one of your songs.

[Artcell]

Wow...Lady Gaga,you are great....I love this poem.It's awesome.Absolutely.*thumbs up*Keep up the good writing!

[*Tsuki*]

I was going to reply a while ago, now I feel stupid.
So, I'll just read it a couple more times with my handy dandy dictionary and we'll be good!

I think I'm taking this too literally.
Okay, so I'm confused (and yes, I actually did have to open my dictionary).

Remorse fills my veins
Killing my attrition like novocaine

Okay, so here's what the dictionary says:

at·tri·tion [ə trísh'n]
n
1. loss of personnel: the gradual reduction of the size of a work force that occurs when personnel lost through retirement or resignation are not replaced
2. wearing away of surface: the wearing away of a surface, typically by friction or abrasion
3. weakening by persistent attack: the gradual wearing away of morale and the powers of resistance by persistent attacks
4. sorrow for sin: remorse for sin engendered by the fear of damnation

So, I tried to put it together in my head but it still didn't make sense.
It says, "Remorse fills my veins" but then in the next line it says "killing my attrition." I'm probably looking at it wrong considering that it made perfect sense to everyone else who replied but if attrition means sorrow for sin and you're killing that, then wouldn't that mean the remorse felt is . . . going away? But then, that doesn't seem right. . . gahhh I'm confusing myself.

I had no problem with the rest of it, in fact I thought that it really kept the flow to say "amicable" instead of something else like harmonious (My own vocabulary becomes limited when I'm writing and I end up with words that are too long and messes with the flow. Seeing how well you did with this is really helpful for myself).

It's short, but it holds a lot of meaning.
I guess I'll be odd and say I liked the middle the best.
Especially

Forgiveness can come too late
In my reprieve I've become sedate