Heading Out

[Kishiro]

Get up and rush
Move so you can roll
The crew outside is waiting on you, try not be slow
Patiently and teasing, the driver and the girls holler "Let's go!"

Fly down the steps and grab your crap
Kick on your boots and put on your hat
Throw on your jacket and swing out the door
Bounding out to the car just like before
Heading out again and again
Days and nights like this, you'll always want more.

[Daenerys]

I kind of started to like it, but then you stopped rhyming. Like... you didnt rhyme at first which was okay, then the whole thing rhymes then you're like AGAIN. AND AGAIN DIDNT RHYME AND I GOT CONFUSED. Can you change the again to something else and make it flow better maybe?

But it was a very lovely message anyway, dear.

[Kishiro]

Should I put more feelings in to it? Maybe I should write about being sad when going down the steps. It's about going to a funeral, afterall.

[Daenerys]

Oh really? I didnt really think of anything like that. I was picturing like 1920/30's gangsters in zoot suits getting ready to go drink some illegal beer.

[Kishiro]

No silly! Geez u so crazy.

[Anime Forum]

I actually liked it : D I didn't really much a problem with it and all that counts is that you tried Kishiro.

Its rare seeing you posting poems around here.

[Daenerys]

I do not find your reply of a smilie to be mature Kishiro! /friendship

[Kishiro]

srs poems r 4 srs

[alexshim]

nice and awesome poem

just work on your flow it is messed up

lil

[Kaname Shikara]

Nice poem Kishi I think you should try to post more of your work, you're very good. ^^

[Kishiro]

This is actually really, really, bad.