When did a smile become too much work?

[Skylar1]

Alright, so yesterday I went to Wal-Mart, blah blah blah, and when I got to the cashier to pay I noticed something remarkable- The man was friendly.

He was very inviting and was making jokes, and talking to people, smiling. For a second, I almost felt like I knew this guy dispite only meeting him 5 minutes ago to pay for my stuff. Everyone around him was laughing and having a good time.

Then it occured to me on the way out; Why can't everyone be more like that guy?

Now, I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, but I atleast try to make an effort to smile at other people when I'm in public. Wether it be a "hello", or a small wave of the arm, or a nod of the head; just something to say "Hi, I acknowlegde your existance". But would you believe it, that only half the time does the other person smile back? Sometimes, they don't even so much a look my way.

I remember right after 9/11 how friendly and nice everyone was to eachother. Boy, that sure did disapear quickly didn't it?

I guess what I'm trying to ask here is: When did our society as a whole become so wishy-washy with being nice to others, that we can't even muster up the strength to look at one another any more? Have we really just become that hard-shelled and mean?

What are your thoughts?

[Buruku]

Alright, so yesterday I went to Wal-Mart

Ha, theres the problem.


A lot of people are miserable slugs, I worked retail and I was talkative and cheerful with all my customers every day. It's not just the people behind the counters with a bad attitude, a lot of times customers are HORRIBLE.

I'm use to it, that's just how people are. Does it stop me from having a good attitude? No, and maybe only one person will appreciate it, but it's usually more than that.

[daft]

Yeah, sometimes it does seem like we live in a pretty cold and depressing society. But you'll realize on and off that not everyone appears as negative as their surroundings suggest they should be.

As for cracking a smile at someone every now and then, I'll admit that I don't do that as often myself. Though I really should, 'cause there are plenty of reasons for being happy and grateful. But many times the bad things outnumber the good, and the people that pass you by can't help but be honest.

[Dr. Evil]

I agree with you wholeheartedly Eric. When I go to work (I work at Food Lion Supermarket as a cahsier) I try to be as polite and as friendly as possible. I smile at customers and talk to them. Even when I'm not working and I'm paying for gas to fill up my truck, I talk to the guy behind the counter at the convenience store. Even if its just idle chit-chat, its nice instead of someone being uptight all the time when someone is just trying to be genuinely polite and friendly. And you're right about the 9/11 thing. Its really sad that it took the country being attacked for American citizens to be polite to eachother. How hard is it to give a hello or a friendly wave or smile these days?

[Hakuchuumu]

It's disappointing, but unavoidable and you're probably always going to see it.

Most of the time I find that people are kind in return when they need or want something; and somehow you are involved with whatever they need or want. For instance, I'm in college, and I know the other people in my Biology lab group don't really want to be friendly with me every day; But they are because I do my work. Therefore, I know what I am doing; I explain and they do not fail. They're nice to me because I give something in return. And they could care less if I give them smiles. But I do anyway.

Another example, we had a really huge blackout for a couple weeks where I live. No electricity left many people frazzled. Our neighbors aren't typically nice to us (my family) but during the blackout they were extremely kind. But they also borrowed ice from us (we got the last bags at the local store), and they borrowed food and storage. We would have done those things regardless. But still.

I understand where you come from. It can really make all the difference. Some people are genuinely kind and a blast to be around. When someone says something kind to me, it really makes my day better. I'm often stressed easily and when I get in one of my bad moods, even a smile can make it better.

But I think it's also important to remember that many people these days are overworked and exhausted. That can also affect a persons mood. Quite frankly, I'm surprised you had cashier who was so energetic and kind. Generally when I go to stores, the people use fake smiles and concern for your shopping experience because they hate their jobs. They work long hours and get payed little. And many feel they're not payed to smile or be genuinely kind to people. And I don't blame them; But it is nice to occasionally get those people who really bring a good mood, wear a smile, and keep it.

Also, some people just don't feel comfortable being friendly to strangers. It's someone they don't know. It may make them feel awkward. All people are different in how they feel about things. Who knows..

It bothers me, too. But it's always been that way and most likely always will be.

[-Batman-]

Then it occured to me on the way out; Why can't everyone be more like that guy?

Sorry to burst your bubble but...
Most people in retail hate their job. They're only working there because they need money and it's the only employment they can get, or they work there part time while going to school.
Sometimes at my job, I can be cheerful, downright friendly, welcoming, and helpful.
But when you get 3-4 customers who come in and ask questions, ask 20 more questions relating to the answer given, and then wander off to look at something else that has nothing to do with the original line of questioning, then play 20 questions on something else before going back to what they came in for...Forgetting everything you said the first time, thus resulting in you explaining ALL of it again...And then they don't even buy the **** from you because they can get it 2 dollars cheaper at Walmart...
THE FACK.

I remember right after 9/11 how friendly and nice everyone was to eachother. Boy, that sure did disapear quickly didn't it?

Not sure when youre birthday is, but right after 9/11 you were...Nine?
The world always seems like a much more friendly place through the eyes of a child.

[Gjallarhorn]

I smile when I'm happy, and I don't have many reasons to be happy; I'm also pokerfaced more often than not.

I'm not going to smile for the sake of smiling.

[Miss Moonlight]

It isn't "too much work". I just usually don't smile unless I have an actual reason to. I'm generally a quiet (but friendly), non very talkative person. I'm not outgoing, so I rarely have a reason to smile unless I find ... one.

And plus, this is just me, but I think I look stupid when I smile. Although, others have told me otherwise. =o

[Vyndrasta]

I'll smile (and look around) when I see something funny, but yet I don't want to burst out laughing because it would -seem- rude. xD

But yes I do smile when I am happy.
I am a nice guy.

[John Watson]

I love friendly, happy people. I like it when people are smiling on the job. People dont have to be gloomy all the time. Sheesh.

If I were working at some really busy place, of course I'd smile and be respectful to the customers, because that's who I am. I'm genuinley light-spirited.

Then again, I dont expect people to be freakishly happy on the job because nobody likes to work. AT ALL.

[Cobra Commander]

I tend not to be rude to people, but I really don't want to talk to them most times. I worked in retail and hated the customers more than anything. Some of them were pleasant, and most were not. I can be polite but still get them away from me.

I'm polite to store staff, but I don't engage in banter with them. I know their day sucks, and I don't want them lying to me about it because I'm The Customer.

[Aki no iko]

The truth is, we'd rather not get involved and rather be well off on our own business. Becoming involved has gotten too chaotic and why burden ourselves some more when we have whatever it is we need to do? Didn;t you hear about the poor man who was having a heart attack at Time Square and no one cared to call for help until he had passed? Individuals are just too busy busying themselves.

However, I'm one of those very few individuals who is nice to strangers, from waves to smiles and even some giggles. Unfortunately, some girls at school apparently thought I was a stuck-up prick for being friendly. After that, I refrain from being [too] friendly, but habits never die. Why be friendly when all I get is an insult towards my character?

[unruley700]

I smile when I'm happy, and I don't have many reasons to be happy; I'm also pokerfaced more often than not.

I'm not going to smile for the sake of smiling.

i think he said it better than i could

[Aizmov]

It might take some effort to smile, but it takes even more effort to point it out.

99% of the day I'm like this ---->

[blueangel06661]

My job only calls for me 3 times a year :[ but it's a biggie. Most of the staff I work with get super stressed and upset by all the things we have to do/control. Always yelling at the attendees to get in line and stuff. I know your tired and worn out but yelling isn't going to solve anything, just make the attendees more angry that the show is delayed for 20-40mins and they have been standing in line for the past hour.

When I worked this job some people didn't really care, when it was time to go they left. Regardless if the doors had just opened and thousands of people were coming in and we needed all the help we could get. But I tried my best to greet each and every person with a cheerful 'enjoy the show'. I thought it was better than saying 'good..good..good.' a thousand times. And if I saw them going in twice I told them to 'enjoy the show.. again!'

Your attitude makes a huge difference to the people around you. :] I did not run into a single person who complained about anything. All the people I met were nice back :]

[Gero50]

That is pretty interesting mostly cause it is a WallMart employee we're talking about here. Well I guess you found the gem of the rocks.