You know when like computer hardware makers write reviews about their own stuff and then they plaster them all over the internet so you can't find objective reviews of their junk, ... well. Do that. Except, review yourself.
"Eris is awesome. No matter what I do, Eris will either already have done it, or come around and do something 10 times better. I'm like... why do I even bother getting up in the morning. Why are there people other than Eris? We're like placeholders or something"
"11/10. Eris is the best person ever. A shining beacon of freshness and innovation in a world of boring people."
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