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Thread: What is love

  1. #1
    Anti-Dentite Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus.'s Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Cyrus. Poems

    I suck at poems Dx and this is my second time posting one on here the first is in my blog. So constructive criticism will help because i know this poem is bad lol

    To feel loved by someone is a special feeling
    Their love that they have for you keeps you going
    You feel your heart beating
    It’s beating twice as fast whenever they are near

    Hearing the sweetest words come from their lips
    ‘I love you’ they say or ‘You are my everything’ means everything to you
    Just the thought of losing that person…
    It’s something you know you will fear

    Stand up and stand tall
    Never back down and never give up
    If your love is strong you mustn’t let them go
    They will remain in your heart forever

    They are the one you fell in love with
    Not by their appearance
    But for whom they are on the inside
    They are there by your side always

    And to know that you will always have that special person by your side
    To have them standing by your side
    Helping you, protecting you and to catch you when you fall
    You are in love, so put a smile on your face
    Let’s hope this love is an everlasting one
    Last edited by Cyrus.; 02-15-2010 at 03:04 PM.
    8.27.08 <----

    Sig made by Novak~

    "You know, I don't get it. Since when are you not allowed to ask a Chinese man where a Chinese restaurant is? I mean, aren't we getting a little too sensitive here? If someone asks me, "which direction is Israel," I don't go flying off the handle."
    - Jerry Seinfeld



  2. #2
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
    Gil
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    It was a little sloppy but it was good ^^ keep writing you'll just keep getting better and better so no giving up

    Amazing set by
    Ezza Obsuna ^^

    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



  3. #3
    Senior Member Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum's Avatar
    Gil
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    Work on your organization a bit and I'm pretty sure your good to go. It had a decent flow and your idea was decently shown in the poem. Decent work and please continue to post more because I'm interested if you can become the next best thing on AF.
    Nonon Jakuzure - Best Kill la Kill bae
    Ota "The Cutest Otaku" 2016 - Lol, how's your account doing lately? Oh wait.
    Pretty damn great! #spoke2soon

  4. #4
    Anti-Dentite Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus.'s Avatar
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    Thank you both for your constructive criticism, I'll try my hardest next time.
    8.27.08 <----

    Sig made by Novak~

    "You know, I don't get it. Since when are you not allowed to ask a Chinese man where a Chinese restaurant is? I mean, aren't we getting a little too sensitive here? If someone asks me, "which direction is Israel," I don't go flying off the handle."
    - Jerry Seinfeld



  5. #5
    Ruler of Fire ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac's Avatar
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    Default

    nice flow good use of word's
    and full of emotion
    just try to make it a little to make lines oraganized
    and sure have talent waiting for next one to see
    ~ai~rox~

    Thanks teed for the site info

  6. #6
    Kirako's medic soldier Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com's Avatar
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    Default

    What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me....no more.
    Sry the title just reminded me of that song in "a night at the roxbury"
    haha XD The rhythm is way off. The flow is decent and the message was ok.
    Good try and keep practicing. You'll do fine if you keep doing it.
    Like Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try."

  7. #7
    Member Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x has a reputation beyond repute Creed_x's Avatar
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    It reminded me of lyrics to a song. It's wasn't bad you just need to improve more in certain areas, you'll get better at it if you keep working on it. From what I can remember you are very good at writing fanfic stories, if you can think of a good plot for a story I'm sure you can do the same for a poem.

  8. #8
    Anti-Dentite Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus. has a reputation beyond repute Cyrus.'s Avatar
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    Default Mask of Emotions

    Hiding behind this barrier
    The barrier of emotions
    She can’t reveal the true emotion that she is feeling
    Everyday hiding behind a mask
    The mask is slowly cracking
    She is starting to fall apart
    The emotions are starting to show
    Why can’t she use this barrier anymore?
    She’s afraid…she doesn’t want to be alone.
    But the more she hides it
    The more it begins to overflow
    The emotions are beginning to seep through the cracks
    What is she to do?
    Find another mask?
    Or continue hiding behind the now broken mask..
    So many thoughts, but so little time
    She’s afraid of what they would think of her
    But should she really care?
    Hiding behind these walls won’t do her any good
    She’s hiding her pain, her tears…
    Something she should never do
    But she’s afraid; afraid of being alone...
    How can she stop this fear and begin to blossom out her bud?
    She needs the strength but where has it gone?
    It disappeared right along with her heart.
    The mask cracked
    It couldn’t stay together anymore
    Pieces began falling revealing her face to the world
    A desolation expression consumed her face
    Her face is now bare to the world
    Is this her fate? To be alone
    What is to come next…?
    Well she find a new mask? Or will she finally show her emotions pushing her fears behind her?
    Only time will tell what will happen to this young girl…

  9. #9
    Senior Member Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee has a reputation beyond repute Bugsiee's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default awesome poem

    That poem was sooooo awesome, hy i'm bugsiee i'm new, wow i really liked your poem, it's really deep in a cool way, looking forward to hearing more from you!

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