Opinion please? (desperate)

[Sailor Mystery]

Well, one of my good friends finally told us his huge secret. He made a promise to a girl to never leave her side because of her abusive family. They used to be together and now they are just friends. He still loves her and she loves him, but she doesn't want to go farther than friends because she's afraid to loose him. They have a deep connection but I'm afraid that it's causing my friend a lot of pain.

What should he do? What should I do?

Other people have suggested he try to let her go so she can branch out and learn to be strong and he this excuse for it is, that if he leaves she'll get to that moment she'll want to kill herself (she tried before) Would it be worth the risk?

So any opinions, desperately needed.

[Klakz]

I hate when girls loose me on accident.

[Dark Wolf 09]

This isn't Live Journal.

[Srk]

If I may interject, let them lead their own lives. Don't interfere too much.

[EnigmaniaC]

Rule of thumb: The closer you have something, the less likely it is that you lose it, and if you do it usually doesn't drop outside arms reach.

[Bulf]

I'd just stay silent, and do nothing. Let things run their course, and regret what happens later.

[WARPs Jagd Mizuki]

...It's a tricky situation...I'd say that staying at arms length from eachother may seem safe, but if anything is worth holding close, it will hurt to obtain it... it's a matter of figuring out if they are important enough to each other to go through the pain...most people are much more enduring then most other people, or themselves, know. I don't know if this helped any, but i hoped it did. good luck getting it solved. ^.^

[Anime Forum]

I'd just stay silent, and do nothing. Let things run their course, and regret what happens later.

This. Just stay quiet, it isn't your fight to battle in.

[Nyleo]

I'm just shooting this out her but, do you like this guy as well? I'm just jumping to conclusions since you're a girl, and you're posting about a guy being close with another girl. But if I were in your situation, I'd just keep quiet. People shouldn't meddle in others affair.

[Forgotten Show]

Guys, stop enabling...


Bad Memory

[Capernicus]

I would take this much more seriously if the OP wasn't 14.

Serious... you teens will soon learn that your current love interest is not at all likely to be "the one". Not saying your friend isn't genuinely being abused or that she's not really in love, just that this is way too much drama to be getting caught up in at your age. Just enjoy your lack of responsibility. You'll miss it when you're an old dinosaur my age.

[Diocletian]

Tell her to stop being 14. Even if she is from an abusive family, there's something called standing up for yourself or learning to cope with it. If it's something serious like rape, she could call the police or call social services. What girl just kills herself because some guy isn't around?

that if he leaves she'll get to that moment she'll want to kill herself (she tried before) Would it be worth the risk?

I hate to be a dick but this girl reminds me of my pet chihuahua from when I was a kid. When we walked out of the room he would automatically rub his butt on the floor when we gave him that moment alone.

[Hideki Motosuwa.]

You don't want to see him hurt, so if you really want to, try comforting him if you're really that close to him, but try not to bring up the subject about the girl he likes all the time. Other than that, I'd back up and let things happen on their own. And if it's causing both of them pain, then they should do what feels right, and end the suffering by either letting go or getting back together.

[unruley700]

i understand you care about these people but you will be better off in the long run if you mind your own business. don't find this out the hard way.

[DOOM!]

If he/she's gonna do it alone, tell him/her it's down the highway.
If he/she wants to do it in public, remind him/her to pull the safety off AND MAKE DAMN SURE ITS LOADED.

[Vintniv]

Alright, first of all, dont go to internet seeking advice for this sort of thing. The above posts that just shotgun all over the place with optimism and pessimism proves this.

Secondly, for the rest of you, this stuff does happen. I frankly find it rude that you guys treat it like something so mediocre that you can just brush it off in one single sentence post. I have had this happen to me, and now I have to live with myself knowing that a friend of mine is dead and I didnt do anything.

My advice is this, get as much help as you can. Find teachers, find counselors, find anything, people are always out there to help you and yours if you are willing to look for them. NEVER, EVER, try to solve problems like this yourself. Especially when you have no idea what to do.

[.Tatty.]

A: Post this on MySpace or something. Its just going to get majorly abused here.

B: If she's 14 and wants to kill herself just because her fella isn't about, I'd be calling the men in the white coats.

C: You personally don't do anything. YET atleast, lets see how this plays out, see if you can get your friend to be more self confident, then call in counsellors or whatever is available to her.

[Aki no iko]

Key word is she [tried] to kill herself. Depending on the severity of it, I suggest sending her off to a psychiatric ward or get her some therapy. She's being selfish rather, seeming as if she'll "kill herself" if the guy ever leaves. That leaves him in a difficult position. He is basically being weighed down by her. Anywhom, he should indeed leave her if he's causing her any strain as she is on him, but mention to an authorative figure, best bet are teachers, that she is suicidal. They'll keep an eye on her and call her in.

[Mnemonic_X]

I think you should just let things take their own course, don't bother meddling in other people's business if it doesn't concern you. Even if she is your friend, let her handle it and let the guy handle in the way they want it to be handle.

[wolfgirl90]

Well, one of my good friends finally told us his huge secret. He made a promise to a girl to never leave her side because of her abusive family. They used to be together and now they are just friends. He still loves her and she loves him, but she doesn't want to go farther than friends because she's afraid to loose him. They have a deep connection but I'm afraid that it's causing my friend a lot of pain.

What should he do? What should I do?

Other people have suggested he try to let her go so she can branch out and learn to be strong and he this excuse for it is, that if he leaves she'll get to that moment she'll want to kill herself (she tried before) Would it be worth the risk?

So any opinions, desperately needed.

In my honest opinion, I don't think you should be seeking advice from people on a forum. This situation sounds like it requires the attention of a counselor, a psychologist or even child services.

What do you mean by "let her go"? According to you, they are still friends and are only not in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because of her wishes and insecurities. If she wants to keep their friendship the way it is, that sounds fine. He said that he would be there for her and apparently he wants to be. If you guys want her to branch out and be strong, help her do it by leading the way, not simply abandoning her to her own devices (you have seen what happens when you do).

Your friend needs to understand that she comes from an abusive family. Obviously she carries a lot of insecurities when it comes to developing and securing relationships. He may want to be in a relationship with her, but she doesn't. If he wants to try and create one, then he should try to coax her out of her shell, not outright leave her. If she really just wants to be friends, then he needs to respect her boundaries.

[Dr. Hax]

I think playing CoD 3 would serve as a solution as it forces you to mind your own damned business.

[Eris]

As you see, the AF community does not handle these threads well, so I'm closing it.