That's a really cute/romantic poem!
But I have to agree with Tsuki, the mistakes within it take away from the good poem.
Here's your poem again but edited because I'm not sure if you caught some of your mistakes. ^^
when i first saw you
i took a deep breath to say hello
as you look at me and smile you say, "how do you do?"
blushing as i try to speak, thinking what a nice fellow
as you take me by the hand
you would walk me in then you took a seat
feeling weak in the knees, feeling like i can't stand
so happy to have met
a few months later down the road
you got down on one knee
looking ever so calm and mellow
looking down plan to see
<- not sure what you were trying to say here, sorry.
as tears come down my face, i see a ring
then he would look at me and say, "will you marry me?"
looking at him with a smile i say, "yes" feeling like i could sing
just like a love story it's a happy ending as you can see
The last line was pretty much perfect though, great job!
Hope I helped.
Bookmarks