She's Given Up

[Jamie5192]

I know it's been forever since I've even been on here but this is my latest poem and I hope that I stay for awhile this time!


"She's Given Up"

Inside of her you'll find
That after all she's been through
She's still going strong
But At the same time
She's given up

If you look in her eyes
You'll see warmth and laughter
But look a little deeper
You'll see the pain locked behind
And hopelessness

Look into her heart
You'll see beauty and purity
That's behind thousands of
Walls, Scars, and barricades
Trapped inside herself

Look in her mind
You'll see thousands of memories
She'd rather leave behind
And bottles of locked up emotions
Not wanting to feel the pain

If you look into her actions
You'll see a girl who strives
For love and compassion
As well as self-mutalation

If you just look at her
You'll see a girl who just wants
To feel something that's real
But who thinks that she knows
It's a hopeless road

She's given up

[Lord of Death]

thats so sad, its like your putting your entire life into this peom, and I can truly feel your pain!

[ultra_maniac]

i had a very deep attachment with this one i felt a deep dark hole inside my heart reading this one poem it was shivery i never felt like this before thanks and amazing i am looking forward for your next poem

[[email protected]]

Such a sad and beautiful poem that you poured your heart and soul into.
You know everyone is like that but what separates the strong from the weak are those that have faith in hope. Let us not give up on hope until hope gives up on us. I'm sorry for the lecture but that beautiful poem has made me aware of my own weak heart and inspires me not to give up for i know love is always there and we just have to give it in order to receive.

[Artcell]

That's such a sad poem.......But it's so beautiful..........I could feel something inside me while reading it,something struggling to get outside..............Keep writing Jamie..

[SigmaSD]

Such strong emotions in this one. The effects of all those layers create a different persona of the individual when you keep carving deeper and deeper inside of her. Its like some people can see some layers but others can see different ones and she struggles to let them see the whole picture.

I like this poem but the thing is that some of the sentences are cut off at places that make the flow of the poem a bit weird. You dont have to change the words since they are perfect, just the places you decided to separate into a new sentence.

[Kaname Shikara]

That poem sounds like me ^^; wow it reaches out more than any poem I've ever read before. Great work ^^

[Jamie5192]

Thank you everyone for your comments, I appreciate them very much.

@ Demon Dragon: In a way... I was.

@ ultra_maniac: You are thanking me for making you feel like you have a dark hole in your heart? I feel bad now for causing you to feel like that for that was never my intention.

@ [email protected]: You're right. You should never give up but in a way... we all do at some point in time.

@ SigmaSD: Yes I know that but I was trying to keep the same number of lines in each section.

[Anime Forum]

Aww.... its a painful one too read, and when I say painful I mean quite sad. I agree with a few users above me, seems like you put a lot of your life and soul into this one and I gotta say that effort showed.

Nice flow and a really nice start and a really nice finish.

Really nice but sad poem, hope too see more from you. = )