whipers in the dark

[sogood01]

whipers in the dark, "i hear you"
i hear you.. as she looks for the voice so near
i hear your voice calling for me, but where are you?
looking as if she was in fear

nothing but darkness all around me
as she hears a whiper "i need you"
just so dark it make it were she couldn't see..
lost and confused hearing you say, "i hope to see you soon"

then comes a bright light
then she scrams "where are you!"
as an image comes in sight
stand still not knowing what to do

tears falls down her face then whispers "i see you"
starts to run as she sees you appear
trys to reach for you as the wind blew
can't belive your here

holds you close in my arms
looks at you with a smile
in her face looking alarmed
he looks at her saying, "its been awile"

then it all gose dark... where are you?
as she starts to see you disappear she scrams "no! you can't go!"
as tears fall down her face not knowing what to do
closes her eyes then opens them then she would see a glow

then she awakens and sits up with a sad look
with tears coming down her face it was just a dream...
lays back down what a mistake
to think he was really here.. she says, "i could just scream!"

[Kaname Shikara]

Wow you are getting better ^^ keep up the good work

[ultra_maniac]

amazing your best one till now and less mistakes now bravo you should get reps on this from me

[[email protected]]

I agree with ultra maniac. This poem was your best one. Its meaning more clear as your wordsmithing has improved. It still had spelling and other mistakes such as "lays back down what a mistook"
it should be mistake because mistook is a verb and a past tense.
But i applaud your improvement and effort! Well done! It was entertaining.

[sogood01]

^_^ thank you so much. i tried hard on this one.