(First time poster, be gentle

It's that time again
I feel it
I hear it in my mind
My soul
My heart
I hate it
I just want it to go away
The whispers and the temptations for this pleasure
Pleasure through pain
Only a second though and then it's....pleasure
Pleasure so small enough to fit in a tube yet enough to take my mind off the pain
As lie there, I stare
Into the ceiling;never stop staring
Never caring.
I feel nothing, not even the cold floor beneath me
Not even the guilt and hate burning in my soul
All I feel is Pleasure, coarsing through my body.
Through my mind...