Demon's Heart

[IcePriestess]

I know it's terrible(rhyme and other things), but I still wrote that. I just understood what Poetry is to me. And it is feelings you can still express with words... That's why I'm expressing my feelings through this poem.(Don't think that I want to suicide, that's just has a deeper meaning..)
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Demon's Heart

One day at the bay,
When I wanted to throw my life away,
I met a handsome guy at a sea shore,
Surrounded by darkness and gore.

When I ignored him and walked forward,
He suddenly stopped me by grabbing my arm,
And then he embraced me tightly,
Saying the words that changed my life mighty.

"Do you know that
When emotions overflow,
You start to feel so low,
As if someone marked your heart
With an enormous scar?

And yet sometimes-
You feel like you can crash all mountains,
From a good words you treasure so silly,
A good words, which cherishes your heart so dearly.

You use your emotions so much,
But what if they will disappear from your touch?
What if you won't feel anything near,
And will be left with nothing to bear?

Do you know how happy I would be,
If I would be able to feel the sea?
And do you know how much it would hurt for you,
To have a Demon's heart, like I do?"

"I don't know how it feels to be you,
But one thing I do know for sure-
My life wouldn't end here at this bay,
Because I found a new reason to live today.

From now on-
My life is your own,
My feelings are yours,
My humanly heart belongs only to you.

That's why I'll teach you my feeling,
Which I discovered today,
A feeling of love,
Which your demonic heart brought over to this cove."

That's when a kiss marked our union,
An union of human and Demon,
An union of teacher and student,
Who will have a forever to learn
How to cure a Demonic heart.

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So I hope this poem will help you understand my emotions a little... Write your opinion.

[ELR]

Well, it is different. You broke of the rhythm you had and then you had a rhyme here an there but then it stopped in other parts. Paragraph three and ten have five lines while the rest of them have four lines. As a freestyle writter, I say you did good on writting this. I hope to see improvements next time, keep writting, deary. ^_^

[Aizen-sama]

this is a greatpoem please keep up th egood work hope to see more

[IcePriestess]

Envious Little Rose, Thanks. I'll try to improve . As you said I wrote this poem "Freestyle" so it makes sense that rhyme is mixed . Well there is always next time. I hope you'll keep reading .

myoujou, thanks, I'll keep up the hard work!

[Aku no Hikari]

That's good.. I read it some time ago and it made me daydream about it until I decided to come back and comment

I know it's terrible

You know what? You should skip these intros the next time, really.. Your poems are not terrible in any way..

Just try to improve the rhythm and rhyme and always keep it up.

[Anime Forum]

Well I'll admit, the rhyme is a bit off but I wouldn't actually say its terrible. It had a pretty decent flow and overall it was an okay poem. Keep it up.

[Senjou_Akira]

it doesn't rhyme well, and emotions weren't depicted clearly, but it did made me imagine how things were that was cool. keep writing and i'm looking forward for those. Don't worry, even if it doesn't rhyme well, you'll perfect it soon. Practice makes perfect. n_n

[IcePriestess]

akuNoHikari, I'll try to skip entry next time . And I'll try to rhyme in the next poem.(It'll definitely be the best of all my poems! I'll work hard!)

-Raiken-, Thanks

akira.yuki, Well I think the emotions are pretty clear, but if you say so... Well, I'll practice

[Teddy2116]

Well rhyming in poems are really hard (at least for me), I wanna see your freestyle. I think you'll do better if you're not restricted to rhyming. Anyways I like the poem, good job and I'll be looking forward to what you come up with next

[IcePriestess]

Thx Teddy ~