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Thread: 私の翻訳文(英→日)を直しなさい

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    Gil
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    Default 私の翻訳文(英→日)を直しなさい

    原文
    You are too young to live without passion
    [Twenties]: We start to be treated as grown-ups.
    This indicates the age from twenty to twenty nine. Most twenty-something people go to universities. Many people get married in their twenties.

    If you look back on your life after your twenties, what do you want to remember in your twenties? You can remember that your twenties were the most shining moment, or you can feel regret and sad ness.
    In our twenties, we are given more freedom than other ages, so we can decide what we want to do. But we can't really use our time with passion. We just waste our time without self-awareness. But many people don't know that their twenties are the most shining moment in their lives! We don't realize that we live in that moment. But it finishes quickly when we realize. It passes like flowers in Spring. Do you have a great moment during your university life? If you spen dyour time with no purpose, I hope you try these things or make your own list that you have to do! It can give you a sense of achievement when you do things one-by-one.
    The more things you do, the bigger you are.
    Let's make your twenties shining!

    翻訳文
    貴方の20代は熱情なくて生きるには若いんです。
    「20代」「成人」と呼ばれ始まる時。
    20歳から29歳までを指す事だ。20歳前後の人々は大学に入学して、たくさんの人々は20代に結婚します 。
    貴方の20代が過ぎた後、昨日(かこ)にくり返しながら20代の何を記憶したいか。貴方は、20代が一番輝 いた瞬間、または後悔と悲しみを感じた時と記憶することです。
    私たちの20代は何時よりも自由がたくさんくれられるから、何をしたい事は自分で決定できます。 だけど私 達は本当に情熱で時間を使えません。ただ自分の自覚なくて時間をかけるだけです。しかし大部分の人たちは2 0代のときが一生一度に一番輝く時(しゅんかん)だことは知れません。
    そして私達はこの瞬間に生きてる事をまだ目覚めません。
    しかし俺らが目覚めるあの時は20大がただ終れます。春の花のように流れ過ぎますよ。
    大学の生活に立派なときが在りますか。目的無くて時間をかければ、私はその事をしてみるか、または貴方が自 分で実行するはずことの目録を作成する事を進めたいんです。
    一つ一つ実行しながら成就感を感じることです。
    もっとするほど、もっと貴方は大きくなります。
    貴方の20代は輝くに作りましょう!

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    Gil
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    I would rather say naoshite KUDAsai... seems more polite...

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