Have you ever been refused?

[Miss Moonlight]

I've been refused way more times than I've been accepted.

And the refusals were all pretty mean too, like "You're the last girl I'd date".

Well, screw them, those people never knew what they were doing, anyway.

It's hard to be rejected, but it's common. Not everyone can accept you all the time, unfortunately. :[

[Tetsanosuke]

I really only been broken up with, not rejected flat out. That's because I don't act on slight attractions, I find little need to act on the small stuff. At least I used to, right now it's a bit confusing- though in the end it makes more sense to lessen the inevitable amount of emotional baggage you'll carry as well as you can. (In a weird way it does to me)

Besides, I'm in agreement with the previous succession of posts about betrayal. Hence why I don't try and date random attractive girls. Always try to get to know someone before hand when you are focusing on the 'real deal'. That's my opinion though.

I also hate the idea of using someone for your desires, such as sex-and-drop crap. If you are going to use the 'L' word you'd best mean it.

[mstrmnd48]

i always get refused. i just really dont care about romance or love. it always ends up in the end that i get rejected.

[Legend of the Twilight]

You're 17. I assume you're in high school still or about to graduate? Although people are capable of love at that age, the likeliness that relationships established then would be anything worth while are very low. Most high school relationships don't last very long, and plus, it isn't a good idea to remain with a high school lover after you graduate. You've got your whole life ahead of you. It does hurt, I know, but you will find the person of your dreams one day (or someone close to it). Once you reach college, your options are MUCH more in variety than high school as well. It'll be easy.

[Haoie]

Love just isn't love without pain, mmm?

[Necro'lic Enigma]

I never got to into such relationships where someone refused me or anything...so nope.

[Shinn Kamiyra]

I really hate it when people betray one another, no matter it's a lover, friends, or family. I just hate betrayal, in general. I would never forgive those who betrays others.

Agreed. I find myself much more willing to excuse those who break the rules or go against the 'man', if it's for a good cause. Those that betray their friends and those who have placed their trust in them, well... I'm sorely tempted a great deal of the time to let them live with the burden of that choice for a very long time.

Depends on your local laws. In Florida, there are dry clubs that are 14 to 21.

-Blink- I didn't know that. I'll have to go see if I can find one of 'em, just to see what they're like.

I really only been broken up with, not rejected flat out. That's because I don't act on slight attractions, I find little need to act on the small stuff. At least I used to, right now it's a bit confusing- though in the end it makes more sense to lessen the inevitable amount of emotional baggage you'll carry as well as you can. (In a weird way it does to me)

Besides, I'm in agreement with the previous succession of posts about betrayal. Hence why I don't try and date random attractive girls. Always try to get to know someone before hand when you are focusing on the 'real deal'. That's my opinion though.

I also hate the idea of using someone for your desires, such as sex-and-drop crap. If you are going to use the 'L' word you'd best mean it.

It's interesting. Kids, like those in Middle and High School, are expected to be inexperienced about the meaning behind true love and devotion. Yet, if one is to look around, we see that every day, even in much older people. Do you think that a primary cause for why betrayal seems to come so naturally to these people?

[polaris 北極星]

It's interesting. Kids, like those in Middle and High School, are expected to be inexperienced about the meaning behind true love and devotion. Yet, if one is to look around, we see that every day, even in much older people. Do you think that a primary cause for why betrayal seems to come so naturally to these people?

betrayal stands in the shadow of selfishness. usually when someones best interests and your own best interests(as you perceive them anyways) become a conflict of interest, its natural for us to look out for ourselves first and foremost. i believe there is a fine line between betrayal and self preservation. one could easily view them as being one and the same. that being said; we are all guilty of betrayal in one form or another.

[Tetsanosuke]

It's interesting. Kids, like those in Middle and High School, are expected to be inexperienced about the meaning behind true love and devotion. Yet, if one is to look around, we see that every day, even in much older people. Do you think that a primary cause for why betrayal seems to come so naturally to these people?

It might just stem from society, perhaps there is a lack of ethical reinforcement, because on a purely natural and instinctual level sex is nothing more then the act of procreation. As the Atheists may be quick to note, love is about chemicals in the brain and nothing more. From wqhat I've learned, 'love' comes from dopamine and lust from testosterone. Though both can and do aid in the production of each other.

The funny part is, we'd ethically expect dopamine to create the pins for lust, but we don't consider how testosterone can create dopamine, making a vaguely illusionary 'love'. Hence why casual sex generally doesn't stay that way.

But on a higher level then science, I like to think of love and sex as something more sacred (Though I've learned the hard way that there are only rightful situations where this is true). But the war will continue, desire over values, instant gratification over patience development. Perhaps society is to blame, perhaps God is flushing the emotional toilet one drop at a time, or perhaps our genetics are just failing finally for no apparent reason.

In any case, I try to make the difference by not following the trends, and holding my values/emotions close through introspection, reasoning and pure will.

betrayal stands in the shadow of selfishness. usually when someones best interests and your own best interests(as you perceive them anyways) become a conflict of interest, its natural for us to look out for ourselves first and foremost. i believe there is a fine line between betrayal and self preservation. one could easily view them as being one and the same. that being said; we are all guilty of betrayal in one form or another.

We are all also guilty of hypocrisy in one way or another, which makes me muse at how we desire 'authenticity' (For example, euthanasia laws and such). It's Hypocrisy in itself when love means more, but you use it for less, and yet you want more in general.

How can we be authentic in our ways, and yet be hypocrites? Sounds like Raptor Jesus will be coming to Earth soon.

[Shinn Kamiyra]

It might just stem from society, perhaps there is a lack of ethical reinforcement, because on a purely natural and instinctual level sex is nothing more then the act of procreation. As the Atheists may be quick to note, love is about chemicals in the brain and nothing more. From wqhat I've learned, 'love' comes from dopamine and lust from testosterone. Though both can and do aid in the production of each other.

The funny part is, we'd ethically expect dopamine to create the pins for lust, but we don't consider how testosterone can create dopamine, making a vaguely illusionary 'love'. Hence why casual sex generally doesn't stay that way.

But on a higher level then science, I like to think of love and sex as something more sacred (Though I've learned the hard way that there are only rightful situations where this is true). But the war will continue, desire over values, instant gratification over patience development. Perhaps society is to blame, perhaps God is flushing the emotional toilet one drop at a time, or perhaps our genetics are just failing finally for no apparent reason.

In any case, I try to make the difference by not following the trends, and holding my values/emotions close through introspection, reasoning and pure will.

I think you and the good Immanuel Kant would've gotten along just fine.

In retrospect, it certainly does seem like a continuing and near eternal battle, doesn't it? However, so long as people like you exist, ones who seem to strive for something more than merely following one's instincts, hope is not yet lost.

Perhaps it is naive of me to think so, and it may or may not do me any good in the long run; however, I too would like to think of love as something more... something that goes beyond mere genetics and human physiology.

[Zedekiah]

Beer, Pizza and Star Trek is a cure for just about everything besides HIV and Cancer.

Why? They pass time, and time's what you're goin' ta need. The rest solves itself like Data's auto-repair with it.

[Tetsanosuke]

I think you and the good Immanuel Kant would've gotten along just fine.

In retrospect, it certainly does seem like a continuing and near eternal battle, doesn't it? However, so long as people like you exist, ones who seem to strive for something more than merely following one's instincts, hope is not yet lost.

Perhaps it is naive of me to think so, and it may or may not do me any good in the long run; however, I too would like to think of love as something more... something that goes beyond mere genetics and human physiology.

Ouh Mr. Kant, I should try to get the inspiration to read up on his work. I learned about him in Philosophy class.

And I don't think you are naive to look at love as something more. When you do, you tend to take others emotions into consideration more then when you are JUST trying to get into their pant, which is something I refrain from doing.

Besides, if I called you naive I'd be calling myself that. ;>.> But again I can't say I'm not guilty of naivety somewhere in my existence.

Beer, Pizza and Star Trek is a cure for just about everything besides HIV and Cancer.

Why? They pass time, and time's what you're goin' ta need. The rest solves itself like Data's auto-repair with it.

I find some truth in this, though replace the beer with Baily's, . Ouh the lulerskates and roflcopters.

[JIMBO.]

I dont get refuesd since I dont chase women or play their games

anyways after the split with my ex I have a real problem with trusting women, its shame since it makes me come off as sexist a lot, which I'm not

[SSDynamite]

A couple of times yes, but they were just high school crushes.
And once I wanted my ex bf back, but he said no. But the next day I was all o.o an realised I was fine without him, but sometimes it takes a rejection to make you realise that being rejected isn't that bad after all.

[polaris 北極星]

I find some truth in this, though replace the beer with Baily's, . Ouh the lulerskates and roflcopters.

smooth and creamy baileys

[Shinn Kamiyra]

Ouh Mr. Kant, I should try to get the inspiration to read up on his work. I learned about him in Philosophy class.

And I don't think you are naive to look at love as something more. When you do, you tend to take others emotions into consideration more then when you are JUST trying to get into their pant, which is something I refrain from doing.

Besides, if I called you naive I'd be calling myself that. ;>.> But again I can't say I'm not guilty of naivety somewhere in my existence.

Lol. Well, yes, I believe all humans are guilty of being naive at least a few times in their lives. Not that such a thing is necessarily bad, so long as the people in question take to heart the lessons that they learn from their naivety and use them to make themselves stronger as a result.

To each their own though. Just as people don't necessarily have the right to force their ideals and/or beliefs on others; conversely, people shouldn't make it a habit of looking to others for their own beliefs and ideals. Love is what people make it out to be. Still, that by no means stops me from thinking that the kind of 'love' men and women use to get into one another's pants is nothing more than a cheap fake of what I believe the real thing to be. Or you could just call that love for one's self, and only for one's self. That's just me though.

[Tetsanosuke]

smooth and creamy baileys

RIGHT ON!

Lol. Well, yes, I believe all humans are guilty of being naive at least a few times in their lives. Not that such a thing is necessarily bad, so long as the people in question take to heart the lessons that they learn from their naivety and use them to make themselves stronger as a result.

To each their own though. Just as people don't necessarily have the right to force their ideals and/or beliefs on others; conversely, people shouldn't make it a habit of looking to others for their own beliefs and ideals. Love is what people make it out to be. Still, that by no means stops me from thinking that the kind of 'love' men and women use to get into one another's pants is nothing more than a cheap fake of what I believe the real thing to be. Or you could just call that love for one's self, and only for one's self. That's just me though.

Perhaps the phrase 'True Love' has it's niche after all. Truth is a powerful word in a world that could possibly be an illusion, with such ambiguous and subjective ways about it. So maybe, at least to the few people that care enough to house it, the phrase 'True Love 'describes that sort of love we've been poking at in the last few posts.

[DOOM!]

Aaah, my good love... my brides... the bottle, the smoke pipe, the brothel, THOSE have never betrayed me.

[Tetsanosuke]

Aaah, my good love... my brides... the bottle, the smoke pipe, the brothel, THOSE have never betrayed me.

Possible* liver damage, possible* lung/brain(?) damage, and possible* STDs.

WHERE ARE YOUR FAITHFUL BRIDES NOW?

Well maybe I'm a little to quick to judge, you could just be using them in moderation. xD

*anything is possible in your imaaagination.

[Akagami no Shankusu]

Apologies as I have not read all the posts but to the OP.

I have been rejected plenty of times, but guess what bothers me? Its the times i didnt ask at all. Be proud of yourself for taking the courage to get to the proposal step. Trust me, you would have felt alot worse had you never asked and found out.

While I understand its different for guys and gals, and i dont totally understand girls. However you will get over it.

Move on and laugh it off .

[Chaux]

Love just isn't love without pain, mmm?

LOL what a funny thread..
Yeah love isn't love without pain i guess.
But i wouldn't really know since i'm just a high school kid who doesn't wanna take this stuff seriously yet >=3
i got rejected 3 times today looooooool
Even though i was only asking as a joke (As i always do).
hahahaha
I hate having to seriously reject other people though xD sometimes that's worse especially if it's a friend -_-
I try not to be harsh... sigh..
Yeah, "Laugh it off", guys.
Girls are confusing sometimes @_@
i don't know what to say for them... =_=

[Cobra Commander]

Refused? Sure; it certainly sucks.

But when you get down to it, it's probably for the best. You're into someone, and you like them. So you want to date them. Great. But do you know them? I'm guessing you're in high school. How much do you know this person, beyond dreamily gazing at them from across the room? Are you in love with the person, or the idea of the person?

If you've been rejected, it's not your fault. That person just wasn't right for you, or you weren't right for them.

Looking back, those girls that rejected me just weren't right for me. I have a hard time meeting people, so no one has been right for me lately.

Doesn't bother me much, she must be out there somewhere. You'll find the right person when it's time.

[milenium3]

Thank you very much for all the answers
now,I am better,but I think that I am not gonna get over totally
basically because she has been my friend,and I fell in love totally

[tenzo_groupie]

It doesn't take long to forget or get over it. Don't stress yourself over matters like rejection, it probably won't go well for your health. (I've seen it happen before). Just give yourself a distraction from it.

[AomiArmster]

i wish i knew why love is so hard and simple at the same time.. i have no answers really and if someone looks for a meaning.. its kind of pointless in the end. to look for a definition is to not know it at all.

i have not been refused because usually who i like and told, they liked me as well.

i can feel if someone is interested or not, if they aren't i don't bother, i dont need the sentimental nonsense or stress.

i can take a break up more easily than a betrayal. by personality i'm very spiteful and vindictive so if i'm crossed i actually enjoy my measures of revenge. I can say i'm lucky enough that i havent been cheated on but then thats because those I am with know me very well & vice versa.

this whole love thing... it is crazy. I'd say its worth it to fight, love fight on, love on. etc.