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Thread: Untitled

  1. #1
    Nanobyte's minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Untitled

    I can't figure out a title for this, so if anyone can help me, I'd really appreciate it. Well I wrote this little piece during my free time today. Hope you like it.

    Untitled

    My dearest guardian angel
    Who protects me with her light.
    I apologize at this moment,
    For being so cold and blithe.

    You calm me when I'm angry,
    And soothe me when I'm down.
    The fact that I just noticed;
    It makes me such a clown.

    No more taking this for granted,
    No more running out to hide.
    I will show myself and fight for you,
    So please; stay by my side

  2. #2
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    aww, wow, I like it! ^.^

    I really loved the rhyming because I can't do it myself and it always amazes me.
    plus it fit really well in the poem.

    as for a name . . .
    (sorry I'm not good at this so try not to laugh too hard)

    my angel
    seeing you
    light you bring
    make me better

    idk, sorry. >.<


  3. #3
    Faded Existence Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein*'s Avatar
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    Default

    Its great. I'm happy to see you're work. i've missed you're writing.

  4. #4
    Senior Member fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen's Avatar
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    Default

    wow.. that's a really really nice poem..! ^^
    i like it so much..
    good job! *thumbs up*
    keep up the good work!
    and btw, you should take one of tsuki moon's title..
    they really suits the poem.. ^^
    ...really cool sig made by...Nespa... =]

  5. #5
    boopaloop! IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS has a reputation beyond repute IFS's Avatar
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    Default

    thats a really nice poem

    as for a name how about:

    guardian of my hart
    light of love
    guardian of light

    not sure im not good with this kinda stuff but if you ask me you should pick your own name something to do with the feeling you felt when you wrote it

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  6. #6
    The Poet Sword Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke's Avatar
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    Default

    'I like your footwork, kid' (Lol, JK)

    The ropes of rhyming in poetry is clearly tied here in this example. I liked how you managed to use the rhyme scheme well enough to go with the mood of the poem, which I felt to be a curve between regret and determination. In the end you got your point across emotionally, at least to me, and I can sort of relate to this piece.

    Imagery aside (Considering there wasn't a total need for it), I liked this poem, and enjoyed it.


    Perhaps the world was never meant to make perfect sense.


  7. #7
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    Just be my side,angel.I think it fits your poem,plus it is your words not to your guarding angel but to yourself-I can make my life successful.It's the mainpoint ,correct?Just my advice.And happy to know you and I have the same belief that am angel is by our side to show the god'justice
    No thing to be feared
    No one to be denied
    No steps to be hesitated
    Just my freedom
    Just my way

  8. #8
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    Default

    The flow and the meaning behind the poem , i totally understand it.
    Stay by my side , these types of lines are always calming and sweet to read.
    Nice job. ^__^
    wish me luck for furture guys!!!!
    Thanks for everything!!!
    ^___^

  9. #9
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    Default

    The title could be "Guardian Angel" =]

    Asides from that as always, your poem was a really good one. You stayed in flow and well you have impressed me yet again Sigma.
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    Pretty damn great! #spoke2soon

  10. #10
    Senior Member Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55 has a reputation beyond repute Shinigami_55's Avatar
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    i liked your poem,sorry that i dont put a sugestion cuz i suk at sugestion
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  11. #11
    Simple Truth CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce's Avatar
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    Default

    It was short, smooth and rythmic with nice bodily format. I really like these kind of poems. Nice poem.

    As for the title, my suggestions would be:

    Confession in love

    Devotion in love

    My dearest angel

    My dearest love

    etc.
    "To do is to be" - Descartes, "To be is to do" - Voltaire, "Do be do be do" - Sinatra.

    NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY

  12. #12
    Senior Member ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR's Avatar
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    Default

    Like always, you write with apart of your heart that I still can't seem to find, your writing seems to attach to my heart and shows me how much you seem to care for someone. The angel you speak of is still no where near you at the moment but she might return. Just give her some time.

    A title for this poem.. hmm.. Go simplistic and use the first line of your poem for your title. It works when you can't think of any other title for a poem.
    I am no more a rose than I am its thorns.
    No more a gentle breeze than I am the hailing storm.
    I am no more hated than I am loved.
    And I am no more heartfilled than I am heartless.
    This is who I am.
    ~ELR

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