Duel

[lady_jesika]

does anyone else find it strange that none of my poems have titles. i was trying to think of a title for this one and i couldnt so feedback+title ideas pleez! ^^ thankyou!

for every verse of peace and love
a bit is writ of hate, revenge
with every myth of brotherhood
steps taken to the epic end

imminent is our destruction
by ice or fire it can't be known
men so blinded with their knowledge
will easily be overthrown

the hellish beasts and savage demons
must rid the world her greates pains
only by our kinds extinction
will our world have much to gain

Sometime we may return again
a far-off day in childs rhyme
and perhaps we will have learned
to care
for mother earth and father time

[Rein*]

For a title--" Duel" might be fitting because it seem to be some kind of battle between good and evil or maybe just existence itself. I like the poem it was very good. nice contrast between certain lines and good message

[Anime Forum]

It was a decent poem. I have read better, but I see that your getting better at writing them. Btw, what's with your title? Of course people will read it.

I got no idea on a title though xD sorry.

Rating - 7.5/10

[SigmaSD]

I've noticed that you always seem to incorporate this image of demons and destruction in your poems, so it's obvious that you're going through quite a lot these days. I really like how every poet has their unique style of poetry, and yours seems intriguing. partly because it's imagery is extravagant, and you always find ways to make it flow smootly by restructuring your poem. I liked this poem, but I liked the other one better (the one that got you sent to a therapist).

I just want to tell you that if you ever need to talk about something, you can contact me anytime, and I'll be willing to help you. Because everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes.

[lady_jesika]

thanks guys, i think duel will be a good title. uh, as for the demons...i dunno...not really much going just stuff that has happened ^^; i dunno, maybe im just naturally hateful, though id hate to think that. lol

[Fabala]

Would you like the thread retitled to "Duel" or just "Untitled?" =D

[TheDesertFox]

I think its a very good poem with deep meaning to it.

[lady_jesika]

i'd like to retitle it but i dont know how v.v;

[Fabala]

>.> I'm offering to do it for you. Just need to know which you'd like.

[lady_jesika]

oh, well thankyou ^^ i'd like it to renamed "Duel" pleez

[ANIMEGATES]

does anyone else find it strange that none of my poems have titles. i was trying to think of a title for this one and i couldnt so feedback+title ideas pleez! ^^ thankyou!

for every verse of peace and love
a bit is writ of hate, revenge
with every myth of brotherhood
steps taken to the epic end

imminent is our destruction
by ice or fire it can't be known
men so blinded with their knowledge
will easily be overthrown

the hellish beasts and savage demons
must rid the world her greates pains
only by our kinds extinction
will our world have much to gain

Sometime we may return again
a far-off day in childs rhyme
and perhaps we will have learned
to care
for mother earth and father time

I can suggest the following titles:

1. Battle Ground
2. Grapple
3. The Fight

Well, I think those are fitting basically because for me the poem relays something about fighting, two opposing forces, good and evil maybe and about who wins. Just pitching in my two cents.

[lady_jesika]

i rather like this title, its much better than the other one ^^

[*Tsuki*]

Yes, I believe "duel" is a good name for this poem. Speaking of the poem, I quite enjoyed it. The point comes across well, and I thought of X while I was reading it. . . I must side with Sigma though, the one that sent you to therapy was better. Please contiue writing, I like the concepts of your poems.

[lady_jesika]

yeah, the therapist thought it was a good poem too, lol but i still had to talk to her..blah....-.- anyways, i just got back from florida and left a great poem there so it may be awhile before i either remember it or write a new one...problem is i cant write on demand so pleez be patient ^^