So what, so what, so what's the scenario? Here we go yo.

**Diocletian** · 02-10-2009 06:51 PM

Despite the Tribe Called Quest reference here's the scenario:

So God came to you one day and said "Sup, bro/bra. I'm gonna go hit some waves. I need someone to take care of stuff up in heaven for me. You down?"

Let's throw all you beliefs out the door. Would you take the opportunity, or would you turn it down? What would be your first and second commandments?

I would. Then I'd got hit some waves with God.

My first would be:
Thou shall commit euthanasia at the age of 45.

My second:
If you can't work because of obesity do the above.

**MetalIsEternal** · 02-10-2009 07:56 PM

I'd turn it down because I think I would end up going crazy like Jim Carey in Bruce Almighty and make Him make everything go back to normal again lol

**estrago1** · 02-10-2009 08:44 PM

My first rule, by decree of the Jew God, is that we fence of 4 rectangular states (hopefully Kansas, Wyoming, Colorado, and Utah) then we will remove from society people who are a nuisance for others. These people will be (in order) murders and serial killers, rapists and child molesters, drunks and drug addicts (not all of them, don't get nervous), and crazy people and maniacs (not all of them. We still need some form of entertainment.) Then we put gates in the 10 story fences surrounding these states that are about 8 inches wide and are only open for about 7 seconds. Turn on the cameras and you will always have something to watch.

My second decree, by order of the Jew God, is WORLD GO BOOM!! MUAH MUAH MUAH!!

**.Miki~** · 02-10-2009 08:57 PM

i would prolly not do it.. because i dont like watching over the world and stuff, i'd prolly get power hungry and fry people like ants and a magnifying glass

**Wio** · 02-10-2009 11:36 PM

I'd turn it down. I might lol about it many years later too.

**Manhattan_Project_2000** · 02-11-2009 12:28 AM

Sure.

1st Commandment: The Second Commandment is true.

2nd Commandment: The First Commandment is false.

I would then build from there, using the Principia Discordia as my guide.

**sataned** · 02-11-2009 12:42 AM

i would tell god NO! God helps noone so god gets no help from me...

**Datenshi** · 02-11-2009 01:03 AM

I'd accept, and then do nothing with it. I'd stroll around the city and silently mock people for not realizing that God is in their midst. Attend sermons and stuff. It'd be great for my ego: Heh, heh, you oblivious fools.

I'm pretty much sure He passes his time in much the same way.

(On an unrelated note, this thread kind of reminds me of that poor fellow in Dostoevsky's novel.)

**Eris** · 02-11-2009 12:15 PM

Sure. I'd immediately usurp God, and rule in terror happily ever after.

I wouldn't give commandments, but punish people if they behave in a way I don't approve of. How I want them to behave would also be highly individual. So if someone figures out what pleases me, and tells others to do the same, I would smite his followers for disobeying my wishes.

**Hanamaru Kunikida** · 02-11-2009 01:21 PM

I lol'd at OP, "You down?"

Originally Posted by MetalIsEternal

I'd turn it down because I think I would end up going crazy like Jim Carey in Bruce Almighty and make Him make everything go back to normal again lol

Took words out my mouth.

**Cereal** · 02-11-2009 01:58 PM

i think i would accept, then give every single person on the planet true happiness, then destroy the real god, and stay god. and be worshiped :\

**Sagat** · 02-11-2009 03:17 PM

I would accept, then demand two things:

1) All will destroy every last bit from every other religion, then immediately worship me 2 hours a day, failure to do so results in being sent to hell for a day, then revival, so that they may worship me with their brains properly cleansed and ideologically pure.

2) A new Tower of Babel made from pure and polished diamond will be built where my avatar shall reign over the earth uncontested

With the power from the additional prayers, I will kill the original God then assume his identity..so that even any that escape my attention and try to worship the old god will still give me their power ...hahaha

**Light Buster** · 02-11-2009 04:03 PM

I really don't know....I guess....NO

**Ak1ra** · 02-11-2009 04:42 PM

Two things to make details to make the final world perfect.
1. The world begins to look like anime.
2. All of the non-scientific books turns into manga.

I think, that's will be enough for me. And of course a cute anime girl for every lonely boy and a cute anime boy for every lonely girl.

**SigmaSD** · 02-11-2009 04:52 PM

Well if I took the job, I would decree two things:
1. No more wars.
2. Any form of currency is blasphemy.

Hopefully this will cause peace in the world. And the currency thing is just because I want people to go back to the barter system.

**Manhattan_Project_2000** · 02-11-2009 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by SigmaSD

Well if I took the job, I would decree two things:
1. No more wars.
2. Any form of currency is blasphemy.

Hopefully this will cause peace in the world. And the currency thing is just because I want people to go back to the barter system.

The Bible says "thou shalt not kill" but nobody seems to care.

**tenzo_groupie** · 02-12-2009 12:26 AM

I would rather abolish all ten commandments than amend the first two.

**Diocletian** · 02-12-2009 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by Manhattan_Project_2000

The Bible says "thou shalt not kill" but nobody seems to care.

Bible also says to killing Philistines with the jawbone of a donkey (1,000 might I add) is okay. There are some flaws, but some pretty awesome ones.

**Cancre** · 02-12-2009 07:00 PM

I would be like HELL YES !!!
1st thou shalt sell me anime and manga for free
2nd thou shalt become an otaku

**Manhattan_Project_2000** · 02-12-2009 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by Diocletian

Bible also says to killing Philistines with the jawbone of a donkey (1,000 might I add) is okay. There are some flaws, but some pretty awesome ones.

Oh sure, it sounds cool and all, but Nixon referenced it when he was being emo so it's lost much of it's coolness.

The part where Noah enslaves his grandchild for seeing him in his glory is still alright though. As is the part where Yahweh sics She-Bears on defenseless children for calling his prophet bald.

**sa5m** · 02-12-2009 09:26 PM

I would do it, as long as God doesn't go surfing for more than a day.

My first commandment would be to stop killing animals for furs and other fashion items.
My second commandment would be for FREE ICE CREAM ALL THE TIME.

**BestFly** · 02-12-2009 11:46 PM

I'd turn it down.

I'd probably end up blowing up a planet and causing a chain reaction that changes everyone into chibis.

**Alycursed** · 02-13-2009 02:01 PM

Shucks, God, why not? :D
I'll do it!

1st Commandment - LOVE IS LOVE. (EVERYONE. Accept the homosexuals!)
2nd Commandment - Free ICEE Saturday.

**Srk** · 02-15-2009 02:40 PM

Naah, I wouldn't take over for God. It's his job, it ain't mine. As said before, I would more than likely go insane with all the stuff I'd have to do. Besides, I might end up destroying the human race somehow...