remembering might not save us now

[.Miki~]

if you havn't noticed, my poetry is slowly getting worse.... but anywho here is a new one...

I remember how you told me
you love me as I am
and I remember how you said
I was your one and only

I remember the first fight
over something so small
and I remember the last fight
something so stupid and wrong

I remember the pain afterwards
the blood pours from my veins
I remember feeling so numb
and my mind slowly fading

I remember how it ended
felt oh so breathless
I guess remembering is useless
moving on is the key

[SigmaSD]

Well I didn't see anything that was horrible. The only thing was the rhythm, but that was it. I really liked the second stanza. And I also like how you take each stanza to talk about different stage in the relationship.

[TheDesertFox]

Thats a great poem, very deep.

[*Tsuki*]

I enjoyed the poem itself, but the flow was a bit off to me. It seemed like some of the words could be moved around and changed a bit, but that's just me. I enjoyed reading it, and I still think you're doing quite well in your writing.

[Anime Forum]

I thought it was good, not bad. The flow was a bit off to me but overall a nice poem to add to your collection =]

Rating - 8/10