They are all good. Are you going to post another? All of your poems emphasize sadness. Are you heart broken or something? I don't mean anything rude or something.
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They are all good. Are you going to post another? All of your poems emphasize sadness. Are you heart broken or something? I don't mean anything rude or something.
Illusionists
Wow your poems touch me so much. *crying*
Great poems. They all have a deep meaning to them and dont seem rather forced. Keep putting up poems! :]
Quote of the week:"Little things affect little minds."
I'm not heart broken, i get lonely at times, even angry and upset. sometimes i'm happy but never heart broken. But thanks for asking.They are all good. Are you going to post another? All of your poems emphasize sadness. Are you heart broken or something? I don't mean anything rude or something.
Thanks to everyone else for your comments. they are great appreciated.
I thought your poems entitled "Midday Banquet" was amazing. I guess it teaches us to look closer at something to find things out about ourselves or a situation.
What was most inspiring was how the first stanza was rhymed and worded; flawless. And the way you ended the whole poem was simply amazing.
Rift
I feel apart,
Separate from;
Surrounded by walls
I can't tear down
You don't try to break through.
You sit back; cut loose
Allowing the cement to dry,
and the stones to set in place…
I want to break through.
I pound, I scratch,
But with no improvement;
Taquon! I scream for you
Hear me when I scream;
Run to me, set me free;
Don't block me out, in
Don't…
These walls created this rift.
My avoidance drove me to this.
Your nature keeps you amiss.
My patience is wrapped up tightly in it.
But I think carefully;
What have I missed?
Oh that’s right,
You can't fix this.
Last edited by Rein*; 02-24-2009 at 12:53 PM.
Wow, that's harsh. If there is a problem going on, it's better to act fast instead of just sitting back and avoiding the problem. That actually makes the situation even worse. Especially when it's all one-sided, and only one person is working hard to make everything work.
I liked the delivery of this poem. It felt as though someone was uttering the words with strong emotions. Someone can read this piece, and they'll be able to incorporate a lot of emotion into it. I really loved how it flowed, and the imagery with the cement was was just astounding.
OLD SECRETS
A dimly lit room was the stage
Arm chair and desk drawers draped in shadow
Hiding in plain sight: legs, hands, mouths;
Exposed parts rocked when brushed against each other
Crying out with every action was its wobbly legs.
Old and worn, it has seen many from where it was placed
Now as the hands searched around clumsily,
it created clutters that clattered when it hit the floor
Shifting and pushing eroded its footing
Creating impressions into the already tired wood
Laid in over a decade ago by what was then a professional
The continued "tete-a-tete " drudged deeper still
Not only marking but depressing its consistently aging body
Their joy, its pain; their pleasure, its shame;
Oh sweet joy it seems this is the end
They stopped, only hands pressed against
Hearing the loud sighs confirmed its premature celebration
It knew it well, I mean this happens twice every week
Carefully fixed back in its place, quietly without a trace
The arm chair and the desk drawers safely tucked in theirs
I think its ur emotions built up and u let them out in a emotional yet undrstandind stat feel free to post more if it makes u feel better
The Great Pretender
Look at the images, what do you see?
Such a beautiful scene but is it all real.
Look beneath the surface, what do you find?
Is it the same image or something they were trying to hide?
How do you justify the secrets in your life?
Do you makeup more secrets to try and hide
what little secrets you had inside.
How does this work? Should I pretend with you or
reveal the truth.
very good poems liked them all write more soon
Thanks for your comments everyone I appreciate it
ModelsI see what is happening.Replacement is the word.Replaced, exchanged and traded in for more unruly, disrespectful and sloppy models.Imagine my shockI mean come on, it was a meaningful existence.But, the thread ends somewhere;Maybe its here, maybe it was there.You may never know. But I do.Why?I have a masterpiece unraveling before my eyes.Do I dear say I was surprised?No!I was aware. I just decided that I would make it disappear.Never successful,I tried to grin and bearOr sometimes I stood in the shadows and stared.Waiting to pounce like a tiger stalking its prey-But to my dismay I stop, dead in my tracks;‘ Cause even though I am being replaced, exchanged and traded in for a more unruly, disrespectful and sloppy model…without any trace I feel the need to fight for my space.
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