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Thread: Missing You...

  1. #1
    The Ramen Girl rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU's Avatar
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    Default Missing You...

    i wrote this when i was inlove with somebody, before...
    hope you guys give me comments and critisism, thank you...


    I am wond’ring what your doing right now?
    are you sleeping or just like me, somehow?
    wishing that days would go on fast,
    so i could see you at last…

    It pains my heart to not see your face,
    and i’m starting to feel really strange,
    why am i missing you so bad?
    oh, things are getting so sad…

    I’m missing you badly,
    i wanted to plead insanity,
    i want to forget the reality,
    that, maybe, you’re not coming back to me…

    I don’t really own your heart , which is true,
    But i’m hoping that somehow,
    you’re missing me too
    the way i do, when i think of you…
    Last edited by Fabala; 02-08-2009 at 11:34 PM.
    "When You have eliminated the IMPOSSIBLE, whatever remains, however IMPROBABLE, must be the TRUTH" -Detective Conan



    "I'm not ready yet... It's been three years and I still can't greet him" -Hinata Hyuga

  2. #2
    The Ramen Girl rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU's Avatar
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    no CnC yet?

    sad...
    "When You have eliminated the IMPOSSIBLE, whatever remains, however IMPROBABLE, must be the TRUTH" -Detective Conan



    "I'm not ready yet... It's been three years and I still can't greet him" -Hinata Hyuga

  3. #3
    Faded Existence Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein*'s Avatar
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    its lovely. It kinda made me sad and it was also a very clear door way into my current situation so i enjoyed reading it. Brought up a lot of feeling.

  4. #4
    Nanobyte's minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    You should write a book or something 'cause I really like your poetry. It flows well, and your word choice really adds a lot of imagery to your poems. Nice Job.

    PS- It's too bad I can't give you some rep, 'cause the site won't let me.
    Last edited by SigmaSD; 11-17-2008 at 04:48 PM.

  5. #5
    Senior Member wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer has a reputation beyond repute wordfarer's Avatar
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    Your first stanza suggests you are going to structure a AABB rhyme scheme, then it changes on the word "strange" (nice touch if you meant to throw in a turning point, otherwise I have to clear up that "face" and "strange" are not even slant rhymes).
    That said, there cannot be guidelines by which poetry strictly follows in a consistent structure or style, or absolutely intentional fashion. As a medium, it is meant to be full of personal emotions and images. I envy it for existing as a piece of poetry; I have an assortment of troubles trying to openly express myself.
    Well done for freely creating outside of insecurity
    AM/PM me!

  6. #6
    The Ramen Girl rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU's Avatar
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    thank you for all the critisism and appreciations of my work...
    thank you very much...
    "When You have eliminated the IMPOSSIBLE, whatever remains, however IMPROBABLE, must be the TRUTH" -Detective Conan



    "I'm not ready yet... It's been three years and I still can't greet him" -Hinata Hyuga

  7. #7
    Senior Member theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC's Avatar
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    As far as i see now you have your own style. I like reding it.

    The romantic lines, the fluing sentiments, you put that very well here too.
    What inspires you?

  8. #8
    The Ramen Girl rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theDC View Post
    As far as i see now you have your own style. I like reding it.

    The romantic lines, the fluing sentiments, you put that very well here too.
    What inspires you?
    what inspires me?

    i dunno, maybe i guess it's my sadness, i only write poems when im really sa and down... weird right? but i really can't right when i feel happy or fine...
    "When You have eliminated the IMPOSSIBLE, whatever remains, however IMPROBABLE, must be the TRUTH" -Detective Conan



    "I'm not ready yet... It's been three years and I still can't greet him" -Hinata Hyuga

  9. #9
    Faded Existence Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein*'s Avatar
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    I know wat u mean when I'm happy I don't write either. It never made any sense

  10. #10
    Senior Member theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC has a reputation beyond repute theDC's Avatar
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    Think in something special, something important to you, family, something you want to stay always carved in the history by a post for them...
    Don't you fell inspirated?
    But well, sadness is a felling you can't control or even let it go so is very powerfull to make and keep tha all of the moment. A Strong felling is a strong inpiration.
    Also you want to share this, to show you to world, to being hear.

    Do you fell better after wright, even when you're sad?

  11. #11
    The Ramen Girl rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theDC View Post
    Think in something special, something important to you, family, something you want to stay always carved in the history by a post for them...
    Don't you fell inspirated?
    But well, sadness is a felling you can't control or even let it go so is very powerfull to make and keep tha all of the moment. A Strong felling is a strong inpiration.
    Also you want to share this, to show you to world, to being hear.

    Do you fell better after wright, even when you're sad?

    i really can't get any inspiration when im happy, if it's poem im going to write, like right now, i haven't write for a long time, some months...

    yeah, it makes me a little better after writing...
    "When You have eliminated the IMPOSSIBLE, whatever remains, however IMPROBABLE, must be the TRUTH" -Detective Conan



    "I'm not ready yet... It's been three years and I still can't greet him" -Hinata Hyuga

  12. #12
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    Thats a lovely poem , it seems you have all worked out on it.
    What made keep reading this poem was the flow which it had it in , it was sad , it was with tears and it made me stick into it.
    Lovely work.
    Hope you post some more poems please.
    wish me luck for furture guys!!!!
    Thanks for everything!!!
    ^___^

  13. #13
    Senior Member Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum has a reputation beyond repute Anime Forum's Avatar
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    This poem can be described in 3 words =]

    - Lovely

    - Amazing

    - Sad

    I loved it....simply amazing.
    Nonon Jakuzure - Best Kill la Kill bae
    Ota "The Cutest Otaku" 2016 - Lol, how's your account doing lately? Oh wait.
    Pretty damn great! #spoke2soon

  14. #14
    The Ramen Girl rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by -Raiken- View Post
    This poem can be described in 3 words =]

    - Lovely

    - Amazing

    - Sad

    I loved it....simply amazing.
    thank for the lovely thoughts... thank for liking my work bro...
    ^_^
    "When You have eliminated the IMPOSSIBLE, whatever remains, however IMPROBABLE, must be the TRUTH" -Detective Conan



    "I'm not ready yet... It's been three years and I still can't greet him" -Hinata Hyuga

  15. #15
    Senior Member Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph has a reputation beyond repute Foph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rein* View Post
    its lovely. It kinda made me sad and it was also a very clear door way into my current situation so i enjoyed reading it. Brought up a lot of feeling.
    I agree. It portrayed a great deal of feeling. It's also a very common circumstance, so more people could understand it.
    "Kisses, darling."
    Swoosh.
    Oofl.

  16. #16
    The Ramen Girl rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Madness View Post
    Thats a lovely poem , it seems you have all worked out on it.
    What made keep reading this poem was the flow which it had it in , it was sad , it was with tears and it made me stick into it.
    Lovely work.
    Hope you post some more poems please.
    i guess i have two more work posted here in the poem section of af...

    this and this are the links to it...
    "When You have eliminated the IMPOSSIBLE, whatever remains, however IMPROBABLE, must be the TRUTH" -Detective Conan



    "I'm not ready yet... It's been three years and I still can't greet him" -Hinata Hyuga

  17. #17
    Dream With Me Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul's Avatar
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    I totally know this feeling, me right now.

    Really good.



  18. #18
    Senior Member Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil has a reputation beyond repute Dr. Evil's Avatar
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    Bravisimo! You should write more, like SigmaSD suggested.

  19. #19
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    i really, really like this poem. it makes me think about how it is when you lose someone you love, and how it would feel to lose someone close to you. i wish i could write as good as you do

  20. #20
    The Ramen Girl rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU has a reputation beyond repute rEikAbLeU's Avatar
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    @Bunny Feet , of course you can write good stuffs too, you just have to practice and do it by heart.

    @Blood_Storm, thank you very much... ^_^

    @Magical Soul, glad you like my poem...

    there are other two poems here which i wrote:

    Girl in the Mirror and Why You?
    if you wanna read it, just kindly search it here, thanks...
    "When You have eliminated the IMPOSSIBLE, whatever remains, however IMPROBABLE, must be the TRUTH" -Detective Conan



    "I'm not ready yet... It's been three years and I still can't greet him" -Hinata Hyuga

  21. #21
    Senior Member Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira's Avatar
    Gil
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    It's a beautiful one. I agree with everyone's praises.


    Illusionists


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