Twirl

[Cherry Bing]

Her face trickled with blood,

The same gore stained, umblemished brass,

Bold in taste, and thin in notion,

Guiding her tounge to savour the bitter flavour,

Iron, moist and cold,

The streaks, they prevail,

Hold her back so she may travel in perpetual circles,

The beads, they tally her existence,

Reminding her who the one with more value and significance is,

What a portentous girl, such a shame, such a burden,

Not even an essential, prodigious, as made a horrid scar,

Oh, who would love to aid her,

Oh, who would love to harm her,

Seeming without worry, without a care in the world,

Her posture remains solid,

A true model of blaze,

A new meaning of sin,

Seeming wihtout worry, without a care in the world,

She blinks, and twirls her hair,

Reminding everyone, she still exists.

[+Namiko+]

That was beautiful. You have an exellent vocabulary, my friend. I like this a lot. You are a pro by my standards.

[Daenerys]

It looks like you're trying too hard with this poem. Some of the words dont flow well, or are used incorrectly. It's like you're hoping it'll sound intelligent or other worldly, but it's just the same old poem about a vampire/cutter/depressed girl, who dispite it all is still managing to look beautiful even though her soul is twisted and ugly.

[Cherry Bing]

That's quite a lot of guesses. Her soul isn't actually "twisted and ugly", it's quite the opposite. Just because there's blood in my poem it doesn't mean it's about a cutter or a vampire, there is something called "mistreatment" without the individual actually being something evil.
And as far as I'm concerned Grammar isn't a rule in poetry, use everything as you wish.
Although, I will try and make some good out of your comment and look over my poem.

And thank you about earlier +Namiko+ but by my standards I consider myself far from proffesional. Lol. Thanks though, it means a lot. ♥

[Daenerys]

I'm not "guessing"

I'm a published poet, I think you wouldn't be so rude when posting a poem and replying to people's comments on it. Usually when people post poems they dont complain when people give them praise or comment on it. Try not to be so rude.