Things like this make me wonder...

[Wio]

Getting married at a young age doesn't bother me if you're willing to make the commitment.

What bothers me is people who get married and don't understand the commitment, thus ending the marriage in divorce. Or if someone marries a physically abusive person...or a drug abuser... basically marrying someone who's going to do illegal things.



Also, living together before getting married is a stupid idea. If you lack so much faith, don't get married at all, because otherwise you'll get divorced anyway.

[.Lovebeat]

I don't think getting married at a young age is a good idea... it will be like the biggest mistake of your life. >_> When you're young you don't know better, and how many times have you not read in books or seen in movies about couples that got married when they were too young? Mothers abandoning their sons because everything happened when they were too young? "I was too young." etc etc. Yeah I know that's from fictional stuff but I think not everything is made up.

You're too young to make such commitments, in my opinion. You should never, ever, make such a commitment at such a young age, as you got so many years left of your life you wouldn't want to waste it on a marriage you COULD regret later.

Also, finding the love of your life at a young age doesn't mean that you need to marry him/her.

[Fabala]

I read something once about the divorce rate being higher among married couples who lived together before getting married. Something to do with taking each other for granted, and that moving in together after marriage ensures respect. Sounds like bullocks to me, really. I don't think either method is better than the other. The respect will be there or not, and when exactly you start living together has nothing to do with it. The advantage to living together first, I suppose, is getting to know all those habits that will one day drive you nuts before marriage. Though what the point is in that I don't know. Everyone going into a marriage should know things aren't always going to be peaches and sunshine.

Seems to me that very young people often have a different grasp on what a "long time" is, and thus what a "long term relationship" would constitute. A sociology teacher I once had once went to a high school to discuss relationships with the students. Part of this involved interviewing couples. On one such occasion:
Interviewer: So you've been together a long time?
Couple: Oh yes.
Interviewer: Would you call it a long time, or a very long time?
Couple: *look at each other* A very long time, yes!
Interviewer: How long have you been together?
Couple: *grinning broadly* Two months!

And for your average high school relationship, maybe that is a "long time," but in the big picture it certainly isn't. And it certainly isn't enough to build a marriage on. Heck, it isn't even long enough to have moved past the honeymoon stage. Which might be the point right there. Age doesn't mean everything. I believe the length of the relationship and maturity of the participants matters more.

If I say I married the guy I started dating when I was 15, people look at me funny. When I say I got married when I was 21 people tell me that's "too young." However, nobody seems to think anything of it when they know I married, at 21, the guy I started dating when 15. Suddenly it's okay.

[Wio]

If I say I married the guy I started dating when I was 15, people look at me funny. When I say I got married when I was 21 people tell me that's "too young." However, nobody seems to think anything of it when they know I married, at 21, the guy I started dating when 15. Suddenly it's okay.

It's because you need to update your age. Most 12 year olds don't know who they'll be dating at 15, and almost none of them know who they'll marry at 21.


I've always found it a bit strange that people dated in high school. It makes sense culturally but not so much logically.

[Amray The II]

I would not question marriage.

I do not plan to get married until my late 20's, early 30's. That applys to having off spring too. Marriage is an issue that I take very, very seriously and it should be the happiest time of ones life. It is such a huge commitment to make and it has to be with someone that you can trust with your life, and your love. People that marry for granted, I detest them. I just think it would be better for people to think it through really hard until they know fully that they can fully rely and depend on their chosen bride/groom.

[Tetsanosuke]

I can say that I was hoping I would marry my Love who just broke up with me a few weeks ago. We were together for 11 months, intimate and well, she was my first everything.

Obviously we'd get through school (High school, college, ect) and get our money together before hand, but I'll tell you what, when you are committed to someone like I was, it's a part of your future that feels so warm. Through good or bad, thick and thin. In my opinion, I don't need to go out and have sex with many people or such things to be sure about what I feel. o.O

But still, that's just me. We are all different in this world. But now I have a hurricane of emotional and mental stretches. Though I can say for sure I was planning on being with her.

But alas, it doesn't seem that way now, so I'll say it like this: Don't get hotched on gettin' hitched until you truly know and feel it. Even if you are young, keep the love but wait for the stability to get the rings.

[Fabala]

It's because you need to update your age. Most 12 year olds don't know who they'll be dating at 15, and almost none of them know who they'll marry at 21.


I've always found it a bit strange that people dated in high school. It makes sense culturally but not so much logically.

Har har

Yes it does. They're honing the skills required to secure an advantageous mate in the future. Some people need more practice than others ^_~

[UCantTameMe]

Why are ppl ages 14-17 saying they are getting married to this person they are dating and they are engaged. i mean..you don't know if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. and you don't the decesion is made upon emotion, even though we all say we are mature and that doesn't go for those who are older than 17; it doesn't mean we are ready for that type of commitment.


i just don't get it..

OMG I know! One of my friends is 15 and shes engaged to her bf. Idk i think that we (teenagers) are way to young to get married! I mean we have our whole lives to find "the one" and i think ppl are rushing it. I know Im waiting until im out of college but if that guy who makes my heart flutter everytime im near him comes along I might consider it but not now. Im 15 and i think thats way to young.

[Brewmaster]

It's an influx on overflowing sex hormones, they trick people into thinking they are in love, that way they are more likely to reproduce, which is pretty much the main goal of any lifeform in current existence (that's why they are still around)

I don't really understand what the whole age frame is for, pretty much all teenagers act this way, some are just better at controling than others. To be Frank people can never be absolutely sure they married the right person.

Pretty much said it good.Especially the last part.You think you found the right person but eh in another day you find someone who just consumes you to say so.
I think it is way early to get married or engaged in those years.Especially since there is school.Take care first of that and secure a way to earn money then get married for it is a big responsibility.

[TriciaRose~]

Some couples that have married young (14-15 Years old) actually do stay together...and 20 years down the road...are still together. It's pretty rare. But you have to be willing to make the commitment. You just need to know what you're getting into before you even try thinking about it. Eh..most end in divorce, some don't.

[Lady Edani]

there's girls on my bus taht say that they are geting married,then a day later they CLAIM they broke it off and that they weren't geting married. and it goes on and on about it.they say that they are getting married at 17, but i highly doubt it'll last.

[Dr. Hax]

Teens are quite stupid in my tastes. Why, when I had my first girlfriend at age sixteen, she said to her friends that we were going to get married at age seventeen. She called me her fiancee and all that garbage...whatever. As soon as I heard that, I said, "Can you let go of my arm? Listen, I never agreed to being your fiancee nor did I have any intention of being your fiancee. We are not engaged so don't even think of asking. I am getting married with the person who I consider "The One". I do not see you as "The One" so don't whine to me or my friends about it. I think it's quite idiotic to get the idea of calling your boyfriend your fiancee or saying that you're getting married at age seventeen or eighteen...(Wait 5 seconds and shake head with a stern face)...We're through. Learn to not call the shots too often in a relationship."

Damn, I hate teens.

[Wio]

Yes it does. They're honing the skills required to secure an advantageous mate in the future. Some people need more practice than others ^_~

No one needs to "hone" their dating skills. They just need to mature, which is irrelevant to dating. Even if it did help them all, almost every guy I've asked has told me the a waste of money and time exceeding any benefits.


Oh yeah, and with the shakin' up thing....
Maybe it's not the actual shackin' up that causes the marriage to fail. Maybe the kind of people who are willing to shack up tend to be the kind of people who are willing divorce.

Shacking up devalues marriage. Also, it's very half-appled and is formed on the basis that the couple can't trust each other or won't commit if things get too hard. Marriage ends up becoming Shakin' Up 2.0 and divorce becomes very accepted.
When two people get married without shacking up, they enter the marriage with much more faith and trust. They also have a higher value of marriage. You're going to put more effort and commitment to protect something you value.



I think there is an unfortunate reality that people don't think divorce is all that bad anymore. The general public has lost some of its willingness to protect the sanctity of marriage, because it's too "hard" or "mean" to do so.

[Ramona Flowers]

Well, it varies. Depending on how any relationships one has been in and how far they went and the maturity level, then there's nothing to get, love is love. I'm 18 and I'm getting married this winter. It does kind of sadden me to hear my friends morn us as if we're dying.


I mean, if you can see yourself never getting tired of that one person, being able to grow old together and still make each other smile and loving their faults thats love, and life is too short to second guess it.


But some people are just lonely. If I didn't have this wonderful man I wouldn't really care to be in a relationship, I'm too old for silly games and I dont need companionship, I merely need him.


Wait. I think I just contradicted myself.


~shrugs~ either way, I'm jaded enough as it is, but I need something to believe in

[Chocobo]

I've been dating the same person since late 7th grade. I was going to turn 14 about four months after I found the person I'm still dating today [just about 4 years later]. About a year after dating this person, idiocy took over him and he asked me to marry him. That question just completely phased over me, mainly because in the past, everyone [guys, girls, even my own family] were complete jerks to me, throwing down my confidence from insults, and some people still do that today.

Anyway, this person had never insulted me from day one I met him. He saw me and didn't think, "OMG, she's ugly" like the rest of the world did. I'm not toothpick skinny, I'm not... ... I-can't-think-of-a-good-object fat. I'm right there in between.

I've been around this person for almost 4 years, and I honestly don't know if I want to marry him. Currently, he refuses to get a job "because he's in college, which is enough to worry about." I understand that, even though my brother went to college and held a job [who he claims to be better than], but during the summer, all he does is play games. I really don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone like that.

Playing games is great and all, but that ends at highschool/college, and sometimes on weekends or days you're off from work. Then you have the house or family to worry about.
----------
Aside from that, in the United States, most states require you be 18 or older to get married, or have parental consent to get married as a minor. If you're going to be mad at anyone for getting married young, be that at the parents for sighing the damned consent form. I have a friend who married at 16; her mother was "tickled pink" probably to get her out of the house because she is annoying, and complains about anything and everything. She's had 2 miscarriages, which shows her body isn't mature enough, but she doesn't see that. Besides, I can't imagine an extremely round girl becoming even more round. It scares me. Lots.

[LadyAmy]

teenagers follow trends.. and since the newest trend is getting married they think it's right.

Teenagers don't understand what the expression : "i'm commited" means... they don't feel it. It's a mistake they get married so soon.

[Kawairashii hikari]

I say it now for the heck of it.
Though I don't mean it at all... I'm not sure about that yet. You never know what could happen between you and the person you're currently dating.

But I know that love is more than that, and yeah my stomach flutters sometimes when I'm around him. But I know that that's not what love is all about cause I mean after some months your stomach might not respond to them in that way anymore. But that shouldn't mean anything. Real love from my perspective is loving somone for who they truly are inside and out, and for all their faults. Forgiving them even when they did you wrong, being patient and kind with them. Things like that.

Back to the subject though.
I know lots of people who say it and are for real, but the people I know who've said it have been with their boyfriends for like three years. So... it's like they've already proved they can stand each since they've been with the other for that long, so it's ok to say they can get married I think.

[TriciaRose~]

Well, it varies. Depending on how any relationships one has been in and how far they went and the maturity level, then there's nothing to get, love is love. I'm 18 and I'm getting married this winter. It does kind of sadden me to hear my friends morn us as if we're dying.


I mean, if you can see yourself never getting tired of that one person, being able to grow old together and still make each other smile and loving their faults thats love, and life is too short to second guess it.


But some people are just lonely. If I didn't have this wonderful man I wouldn't really care to be in a relationship, I'm too old for silly games and I dont need companionship, I merely need him.


Wait. I think I just contradicted myself.


~shrugs~ either way, I'm jaded enough as it is, but I need something to believe in

Yes, I totally agree with you. Love is love, and I guess you can't really help it.
It depends how mature you are..and what you know.

[Chocobo]

A lot of people think I'm 20 or 21. At just turning 17 several weeks ago, that makes me feel bad. Mainly because people expect me to act older, when I'm, well...not young, but still teen. If I ever act like a teen in public, such as fooling around like the typical teen, I do get yelled at. At 17, I have more of a 20ish maturity level. Though, of course, everyone has that time when they act childish.

If you look at it, staying with the same partner for 4 years really isn't a long time, compared with those who've been together for 50 years and more.

[Aulos]

Why are ppl ages 14-17 saying they are getting married to this person they are dating and they are engaged. i mean..you don't know if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. and you don't the decesion is made upon emotion, even though we all say we are mature and that doesn't go for those who are older than 17; it doesn't mean we are ready for that type of commitment.


i just don't get it..

What I don't understand is how you can say those things about them. You aren't them, you don't know how they feel and you don't know whether they could handle it or not.

I'm not saying that they should get married, but you can't just go around saying that they don't know if they want to spend the rest of their life with them.

People meet their partners are different ages. It's not to say that they should get married at 14, but again saying they don't know what they're feeling is a bit over the top. I don't really understand how people can say that. It's massive assuming. "Oh this person is younger than the rest, they don't know what they're feeling for that reason."

[Overlord Darth Fluffles]

What I don't understand is how you can say those things about them. You aren't them, you don't know how they feel and you don't know whether they could handle it or not.

I'm not saying that they should get married, but you can't just go around saying that they don't know if they want to spend the rest of their life with them.

People meet their partners are different ages. It's not to say that they should get married at 14, but again saying they don't know what they're feeling is a bit over the top. I don't really understand how people can say that. It's massive assuming. "Oh this person is younger than the rest, they don't know what they're feeling for that reason."

I don't understand how you don't understand that they don't understand and can say such things. Honestly it's not hard to understand. They feel as if those annoying stupid kids saying they'll get married because they "think" they love someone makes no sense to them.

Of course people can say and assume, people already do it, don't they? THEN it can be done. You just don't agree...and blah blah blah blah blah this is pointless let me get down to what I ACTUALLY want to say instead of some side fun.

It's CALLED...people are idiots and need to be slapped.

[Dr. Hax]

If you look at it, staying with the same partner for 4 years really isn't a long time, compared with those who've been together for 50 years and more.

You say that because you're not married. Jeez, people getting married at around 20-24 pisses me off. It pisses me off even more when the woman gets pregnant during those years. Not only is the woman dumb but she is also a moron for wanting to take care of such a nightmare. The husband is also a moron for wanting to put the ball and chain on his leg. Don't go saying 4 years isn't a long time compared to 50 years until you've actually experienced it.

I've been around this person for almost 4 years, and I honestly don't know if I want to marry him. Currently, he refuses to get a job "because he's in college, which is enough to worry about." I understand that, even though my brother went to college and held a job [who he claims to be better than], but during the summer, all he does is play games. I really don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone like that.

If it's your brother who claims he is better than your current boyfriend, he is a good man as he proved that not all hope is lost. There are smart people out there.

If he's going to make up the "College" excuse, then being with him is pure idiocy on your part. If you don't want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that then ditch this piece of trash called your current boyfriend.

Legal age of marriage here is 18. Everyone in my area is a complete moron for marrying young and having kids young. Part of me just wants to say it to their faces to let them know the mistakes they are making. One of them is forever being with each other. How sickening can this be? The other is the worst mistake ever, children. I am tired with seeing crying bags of urine and feces leeching off of a man's hard-earned cash. I know, I know. I was one of those babies too but I couldn't think about this at the time. I'm not getting married until age 25-26. I'm going to get a wife around the same age or very close to my age if not exact.

It's CALLED...people are idiots and need to be slapped.

Agreed 100%

Given the opportunity, I probably would do it.

[DaSOCOM]

I'm not going to go into how teenagers are, far and wide, retarded. Everyone else before me have explained that to death. I am going to offer a more objective view of how it works:

Puritans aside, people decide to get married when they are shaggin'...a lot. So they are willing to say that Yes, I will shag you and only you until we die. But after a while, the fire burns out and both parties realize that they are attached to a worthless nobody without an education, a decent job, or even a car in their name. Reality kicks in, in other words.

Now I am loath to say that people should stop shagging, but just because you are having great sex with someone doesn't mean they are marriage material. I've seen that one firsthand, lasted about 3 weeks.

So do the world a favor, kids, and hate everyone until you are 21 or 22. Get an education, a good job, a car and a house. Then go find a wife and get married. You will thank me later.

Peace,
DaSOCOM

[Alicaryn Silentread]

I'm saying this from experience. Looking at my grandparents, who got married at 16, and are still happily married at 50, and still going strong, I have a hopeless romantic side to me. They had dated since 6th grade, and they knew they would be together for the rest of their lives. And they are. It's a very rare occurrence, but it does happen.

Would -I- consider getting married at 18? No, but I'd consider getting engaged and waiting til I was absolutely positively sure it was right, and like Fiery said, live with them, and see. Wait until the raging hormones have calmed and see if I can still be with them, three-four years down the road. I wouldn't jump on the bandwagon of higher divorce ratings. I'd want to do it right. I think I'm doing it right. o.o;

[Dr. Hax]

Being engaged? What the hell does that even mean anymore? How will engagement do anything? You're in a relationship. How will this make it any different? A man's just wasting money on another piece of jewelry. This proves that people are stupid.