Fair-weather friends. Have'em... or had'em?

[CapnJack]

My sister once brought up this phrase once...

Fair-weather friend- 1. A friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. At the first sign of trouble, these disloyal friends will drop their relationship with you. 2. A friend who is only nice to you when it's convenient. Someone who is a "backstabber" or who abandons you in certain situations. 3. A psuedo friend. One who pretends to be your friend when things are good. Leaves when things go astray or are not quite like they think they should be.

Has anyone had one of these in your life once or still have a few? Did they make you feel left out or worthless? Have you thought they'd change or that you can tollerate it? Did you believe they cared? How hard was it to stand up, say no more, and walk away from them? Please, I really want some real feedback.

[Ωmega]

Ha! I was just having this conversation yesturday.

Yes, Ive had them...several of them. Most of whom I no longer speak to.

But, I dont feel bad about my friends comming around only when they want to, sometimes when life gets too stressful for me I do the same [only I just avoid everyone really, until things have calmed down].

[LittleMomo]

I hate backstabbers, so yesh, I had them...before! Man, ish not right to do things like that to your friends. TwT

[~*Red*~]

I've had a few, and I've told them what I think about them so many times.

[CapnJack]

Ha! I was just having this conversation yesturday.

Yes, Ive had them...several of them. Most of whom I no longer speak to.

But, I dont feel bad about my friends comming around only when they want to, sometimes when life gets too stressful for me I do the same [only I just avoid everyone really, until things have calmed down].

Thank you Maru, Im happy that a mod was the first to reply. If I may ask who did you have this conversation with? I understand when stressed people might avoid their friends, what about if they just dont respect you anymore?

...Man, ish not right to do things like that to your friends.

I agree, so why the heck do it in the first place?

[Ωmega]

Thank you Maru, Im happy that a mod was the first to reply. If I may ask who did you have this conversation with? I understand when stressed people might avoid their friends, what about if they just dont respect you anymore?

I was having the conversation with one of the site owners, Princess Minako.

As for lack of respect from friends [which has happened to me once or twice] is to let them know excatly whats on your mind in reguards to the situation, and let them know that your friendship is over with them. Or you can just ignore them...tht works too.

If you want to save the friendship, let them know that you want to be friends with them, but they need to change a bit. The world wont end because you lost a friend, even a close friend. You'll always gain new ones.

[CapnJack]

As for lack of respect from friends [which has happened to me once or twice] is to let them know excatly whats on your mind in reguards to the situation, and let them know that your friendship is over with them. Or you can just ignore them...tht works too.

If you want to save the friendship, let them know that you want to be friends with them, but they need to change a bit. The world wont end because you lost a friend, even a close friend. You'll always gain new ones.

I tryed very hard to stand up for myself and tell them what was on my mind and that what they say bothers me when there was no reason for it, and all I got was pointless rejection, insulted, and pretty much got nowhere and stonewalled. I tryed to ignore them before and maybe get a little harsh to return the feeling as a demo, they didnt like it but feel that I was wrong and not them.

I want to save the friendship very much, but they dont feel they have to change. They want nothing to do with me. I know its obvious that in this case I should just walk away, but Ive tryed to be a good person to them and did so much for them, how can anyone just up and decide to end it? It makes no sense at all and Im just more and more confused. ><;

Anyways, Ill slack off and let others post. I dont want to give the new boss lady a headache. ^^;

[Lune Cy]

why be bothered with that kind of ppl
they just come and go

[CapnJack]

Well maybe, but didnt I once here someone on here say that gf/bf come and go, but friends are forever? o.O So nothing is permanent? That blows! -_-

[Daenerys]

My best friend throughout highschool was like that. When I eventually told her to screw off, she called me like 4 months later, after NO CONTACT with her or any of my other friends, yelling about some rumor she heard from a friend of hers whom I hadn't spoken to in almost 8 months. It was kind of rediculous, and me and my friend Cody kind of laughed in her face over it.

Speaking of, Cody was also one of thems friends.

I've only had a few friends who have actually been my friends over years and years. Aside from little tiffs here and there, they've always been there for me. Even when we're fighting. (Like Fabala, Regex, and Sanosuke23.)

I actually find it hilarious that all my BFF's who have never betrayed me in anyway... I met....

On this website.

[Perpetual Specter]

I have several of those kind of friends. They don't make me feel worthless of left out because I know that in truth they matter no more in this world than I do. I know those kind of friends don't really care about me at all, but at least they help occupy me sometimes when I'm bored. xD A lot of those kind of friends I have are just e-friends.

[Hideki Motosuwa.]

Actually, yes, I do have situations where these happen. These kids at school pretend to be my friend and ask me to teach them some martial arts, and I demonstrate for 5 minutes, and when they find out what they want, they find an excuse to leave and ditch me. They only profit off me because of my knowledge and leave me without so much as a, "Bye!" I call them my, "Fans," not my friends. I have no true friends, because none of them stick by my side, never hang out with me, and rarely talk to me, they say they're my friends, but never help me when I need it. I feel sooo used and unwanted! *_*;

[Tsuna Kadiri]

Yeah, I've had some. I still consider some of them friends, too. Oddly enough.

Those kinds of "friends" tend to be very selfish and often times won't help you out unless they get something in return. Which isn't exactly all that bad if you don't value your friendship/relationship more than you would some material item or gain.

They're almost like disposable friends. Whether or not you dispose of them, or they dispose of you.

[CapnJack]

I have several of those kind of friends. They don't make me feel worthless of left out because I know that in truth they matter no more in this world than I do. I know those kind of friends don't really care about me at all, but at least they help occupy me sometimes when I'm bored. xD A lot of those kind of friends I have are just e-friends.

So you could say that your just as much an FWF to them as they are to you. If your ok with that, I see no trouble with it.

They're almost like disposable friends. Whether or not you dispose of them, or they dispose of you.

Can anyone really "dispose" of someone that they knew for so long? And why do they feel they can do it so easily without caring about that persons feelings one bit?

I mean there can be those that you thought to believe you could trust and they trusted you. That everything was alright and that you got along with and understood them plus inturn understood you. But after a while there were times that they would put you down about yourself or stop taking you seriously as a friend. Is it fair to suddenly throw someone aside like a used toy just so they can come back to you when there in a good mood like nothing happen? Do they have the right to decide when to start treating you as less of a real friend?

[Fabala]

Ah yes. I had one who had a penchant for the male gender. Now, I understand losing time with friends for the sake of your boyfriend, or crush, or someone along those lines. However, in the case of this friend, EVERY guy was more important than her female friends, regardless of how much longer and better we knew her. We were important only if she was having problems, with life or school or one of her guys. When she was happy, she belonged to them.

Once I was convinced she wasn't about to change those ways I parted ways with her. Only it wasn't formally, but just drifting apart, so she has called me some years on acting like no time had passed at all @.@

[Famahama]

My sister is like that. Well, im not sure, but she did back stab me of her own doings. Shes friendly with my parents andd makes my parent trust her more. But now, ive grown more intelligent and have proof of things she had done.

Friends, well, no. Most of em are quite nice! and if there ARE any back stabbers, i just keep calm and quiet. That attitude of their's may hurt them one day.

[███]

Of course, I think it's called having friends.

[CapnJack]

Of course, I think it's called having friends.

No, thats not having friends. Friends may argue and disagree at times, but they still look out for each other. Friends dont look down on you, they look at what makes you down and trys to help. Friends dont point at your mistakes and failures, they point you in a direction that prevents those mistakes from happening. Friends show trust when trusted in return, not just when they feel like it. Real friends should know this stuff already and not assume that only one of them has to actually show it... otherwise they're not really a friend to anyone.

[Maledictis Voca]

Too many to count and some just forgot all about me when they found someone better.

That especially is a bad childhood memory.

[The Rebel]

I've had more than my fair share of them. I was always dropping everything to help them, but then when I needed some help, they ALL dropped me like a hot potatoe. Since then, I have made it a practice to only make aquaintainces. The closest friends I have are my online friends.

[Chaos Proxy]

Only that kind of people are around me.
I don't mind 'em, they are rather easy to manipulate.

[Aki no iko]

I have them =P

[CapnJack]

Only that kind of people are around me.
I don't mind 'em, they are rather easy to manipulate.

Any pointers? Reflecting back there personality or ignoring them just makes them mad and Im the bad guy. Im trying to make a point that I dont like being treated like that, no matter who they are.

[daft]

Ah yes...my so called girlfriend. She likes to play those stupid fair-weather games. I love/hate her.

[clowangel]

Um, I'm pretty antisocial but despite that, I've made a lot of friends. None of which would stab me in the back. I can't say I remember a situation where I had a friend who has done that to me. But I do know of people who would gladly stab you in the back. ^_^ But they're nothing more than acquaintances.