Wolf's Rain--Flying to you

[SanadaTomo]

Konnichi wa Mina-san! Watashi no namae wa Amber S. desu!

Before I continue, I wanted to ask if there was a test that you can take to determine whether or not you’re capable of completing translations for languages other than Japanese. Because this song is in French, and there are things that need to be changed.


As for my own credentials, I have had French consecutively for twelve years, since Kintergarden. It might as well be my first language. I took French all of the way up until my Junior year of High school. This year is my first in college, so it wasn’t that long ago that all of this transpired—I haven’t forgotten much.


Now that I’ve introduced myself, onto the correction of the lyrics!


The portion done is French is perfect, except for those annoying language boxes that come up when the page doesn’t support the script. I’m not sure of when these lyrics were posted, so the page may have been updated to support French characters but I’m not sure. That’s why I’m offering the correction and the pointers.


First of all, I am going to post the lyrics without the weird boxes and the actually letters filled in. It will make it easier to understand the comparisons that I will make. I will also be posting the English lyrics prior and following my changes. I hope that it will be easier to follow this way.


THE FRENCH LYRICS WITHOUT THE WEIRD BOXES:

Je me lance dans ses bras

je ne suis que heureuse maintenant,
Hors des prisons
Où il n'existe pas le souvenir du vent

Dans un nouveau jour

Je m'envole vers toi
Pour toucher ton coeurJe m'envole vers toi
Pour toucher l'amour
Ét travers les vagues du destin
Je me lance doucement
Guidé par l'imagine
De ton visage fatigué
Maintenant je vois l'amour
dans tes bras
Si simplement
Si heureusement

As I said before, this is perfect. It’s the English translation that needs fixing.


THIS IS THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION GIVEN ON THE SITE:

I jump into your arms

And now I'm just happy,
Out of prison
Where I never felt the wind

In a new day

I'm flying to you
To touch your heart
I'm flying to you
To touch love
And cross the waves of destiny

I gently jump
Guided by my image
Of your tired face
Now, I see the love
In your arms
So simply
So happily

CORRECTIONS FROM THE FIRST STANZA:


1) The second line reads

And now I’m just happy,

. This is incorrect. The Original French reads

je ne suis que heureuse maintenant

. “Je ne suis” together means “I am not” and the word “que” serves for contrast, like how the word “wa” in Japanese is sometimes used for that purpose. So, literally, the phrase reads “I am not but happy now.” However, this isn’t very good English, so…


This line should read in English “I’m nothing but happy now.”


2) The last line of this stanza reads,

Where I never felt the wind.

. This is also incorrect. The Original French reads

Où il n'existe pas le souvenir du vent

“n’existe pas” means “to not exist”, and “souvenir” means either “gift; keepsake” or “memory”, NOT “to feel”. I think that the original translator misinterpreted this as a verb, because it has the famous “-ir” ending that other French verbs have. Therefore…



This line should read in English “Where the memory/gift of the wind does not exist” Or “Where there exists not a memory/gift of the wind”. Either one is acceptable. It’s the same thing, really. For all intents and purposes for the correction, I think “memory” works best for this context, and I will use the first phrasing.


FROM THE SECOND STANZA (not counting the one liner in between):


3) The first line of what seems to be the chorus of this song is

I'm flying to you

. The French reads

Je m’envole vers toi

. In French, the word “to” is written as “a”. Vers, more specifically, means “towards.”


This line should read in English, “I’m flying towards you.”


FROM THE LAST STANZA:


4) The second line reads:

Guided by my image

. In French, the line is

Guidé par l'imagine

. “L’imagine” means “THE image”, NOT “my image”. “My image” in French would be “mon/ma visage”. The L and apostrophe only serve as a form of the word “la” which is the female version of “the”.


This line should read in English: “Guided by the image”, which fits along with the next line, “of your tired face”.

This all means that the complete corrected version of the English lyrics should read:

I jump into your arms
I'm nothing but happy,
Out of prison
Where the memory of the wind doesn't exist.


In a new day


I'm flying towards you
To touch your heart
I'm flying towards you
To touch love
And cross the waves of destiny


I gently jump
Guided by the image
Of your tired face
Now, I see the love
In your arms
So simply
So happily


That’s pretty much it! I hope that these corrections help!

[AzureDark]

OK looks like he's busy, I'll go ahead with it then.