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Thread: Wolf's Rain--Flying to you

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    Default Wolf's Rain--Flying to you

    Konnichi wa Mina-san! Watashi no namae wa Amber S. desu!

    Before I continue, I wanted to ask if there was a test that you can take to determine whether or not you’re capable of completing translations for languages other than Japanese. Because this song is in French, and there are things that need to be changed.


    As for my own credentials, I have had French consecutively for twelve years, since Kintergarden. It might as well be my first language. I took French all of the way up until my Junior year of High school. This year is my first in college, so it wasn’t that long ago that all of this transpired—I haven’t forgotten much.


    Now that I’ve introduced myself, onto the correction of the lyrics!


    The portion done is French is perfect, except for those annoying language boxes that come up when the page doesn’t support the script. I’m not sure of when these lyrics were posted, so the page may have been updated to support French characters but I’m not sure. That’s why I’m offering the correction and the pointers.


    First of all, I am going to post the lyrics without the weird boxes and the actually letters filled in. It will make it easier to understand the comparisons that I will make. I will also be posting the English lyrics prior and following my changes. I hope that it will be easier to follow this way.


    THE FRENCH LYRICS WITHOUT THE WEIRD BOXES:


    Je me lance dans ses bras
    je ne suis que heureuse maintenant,
    Hors des prisons
    Où il n'existe pas le souvenir du vent

    Dans un nouveau jour

    Je m'envole vers toi
    Pour toucher ton coeurJe m'envole vers toi
    Pour toucher l'amour
    Ét travers les vagues du destin
    Je me lance doucement
    Guidé par l'imagine
    De ton visage fatigué
    Maintenant je vois l'amour
    dans tes bras
    Si simplement
    Si heureusement



    As I said before, this is perfect. It’s the English translation that needs fixing.


    THIS IS THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION GIVEN ON THE SITE:


    I jump into your arms
    And now I'm just happy,
    Out of prison
    Where I never felt the wind

    In a new day

    I'm flying to you
    To touch your heart
    I'm flying to you
    To touch love
    And cross the waves of destiny

    I gently jump
    Guided by my image
    Of your tired face
    Now, I see the love
    In your arms
    So simply
    So happily



    CORRECTIONS FROM THE FIRST STANZA:


    1) The second line reads
    And now I’m just happy,
    . This is incorrect. The Original French reads
    je ne suis que heureuse maintenant
    . “Je ne suis” together means “I am not” and the word “que” serves for contrast, like how the word “wa” in Japanese is sometimes used for that purpose. So, literally, the phrase reads “I am not but happy now.” However, this isn’t very good English, so…



    This line should read in English “I’m nothing but happy now.”


    2) The last line of this stanza reads,
    Where I never felt the wind.
    . This is also incorrect. The Original French reads
    Où il n'existe pas le souvenir du vent
    “n’existe pas” means “to not exist”, and “souvenir” means either “gift; keepsake” or “memory”, NOT “to feel”. I think that the original translator misinterpreted this as a verb, because it has the famous “-ir” ending that other French verbs have. Therefore…




    This line should read in English “Where the memory/gift of the wind does not exist” Or “Where there exists not a memory/gift of the wind”. Either one is acceptable. It’s the same thing, really. For all intents and purposes for the correction, I think “memory” works best for this context, and I will use the first phrasing.


    FROM THE SECOND STANZA (not counting the one liner in between):


    3) The first line of what seems to be the chorus of this song is
    I'm flying to you
    . The French reads
    Je m’envole vers toi
    . In French, the word “to” is written as “a”. Vers, more specifically, means “towards.”



    This line should read in English, “I’m flying towards you.”


    FROM THE LAST STANZA:


    4) The second line reads:
    Guided by my image
    . In French, the line is
    Guidé par l'imagine
    . “L’imagine” means “THE image”, NOT “my image”. “My image” in French would be “mon/ma visage”. The L and apostrophe only serve as a form of the word “la” which is the female version of “the”.



    This line should read in English: “Guided by the image”, which fits along with the next line, “of your tired face”.

    This all means that the complete corrected version of the English lyrics should read:

    I jump into your arms
    I'm nothing but happy,
    Out of prison
    Where the memory of the wind doesn't exist.


    In a new day


    I'm flying towards you
    To touch your heart
    I'm flying towards you
    To touch love
    And cross the waves of destiny


    I gently jump
    Guided by the image
    Of your tired face
    Now, I see the love
    In your arms
    So simply
    So happily


    That’s pretty much it! I hope that these corrections help!

  2. #2
    紺碧の闇
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    OK looks like he's busy, I'll go ahead with it then.
    Last edited by AzureDark; 01-16-2008 at 02:09 AM.

    ...so that you know where you can find me

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