I have some minor corrections to submit in the Romaji, Translation (both in the light of the Kanji version I've submitted on this topic) and Information sections of that song.
* Romaji :
1°
On the next to last paragraph, between the lines :
(Throw Your Charm) SUTEKI na yokan soyokaze ni nose
(Try Your Luck) seifuku no RIBON
"Soshite" is missing, giving the following correction :
(Throw Your Charm) SUTEKI na yokan soyokaze ni nose
(So·shi·te)
(Try Your Luck) seifuku no RIBON
2°
On the last paragraph, between the lines :
(Throw Your Charm) jibun demo wakaru mune no takanari
(Try Your Luck) shin kokyuu hitotsu
"Dakara" is missing, giving the following correction :
(Throw Your Charm) jibun demo wakaru mune no takanari
(Da·ka·ra)
(Try Your Luck) shin kokyuu hitotsu
* Translation :
1°
Coincidentally, since those two words were missing in the original Romaji, they're missing in the translation as well. I suggest :
(And - then) for (So·shi·te)
and
(That's - why) for (Da·ka·ra).
2°
Along with those additions, I'd like to suggest another correction.
On the 4th and 10th paragraphs, where :
(Take the Chance) shiage ha joudeki
(Tell Your Heart) junbi ha OK
is sung, the translation proposed was :
(take the chance) It's good
(tell your heart) I'm ready
Seeing how the whole translation of the refrains is flowing, I think a more litteral translation, describing the names of the things done is better. So, I instead suggest :
(Take the chance) The finishing touches are perfect
(Tell your heart) Preparations are OK .
* Informations :
"Motto ! MOTTO ! Tokimeki" being a staple song of the Tokimeki Memorial series, aside from the original version, sung by Mami Kingetsu (seiyuu of the main heroine of TM1, Shiori Fujisaki), it had several arrangements, sung by other singers. Among all of them, Tange Sakura was NOT one of them.
Here's a list of the singers, depending of the versions of the song (note that the lyrics don't change ONE bit between the different versions, only the melody is slightly different) :
- Original version, and Tokimeki Memorial 1 OAV version : Mami Kingetsu
- 1999 version : Junko Noda
- 2001 version : Akemi Kanda
Ok, lots of work on this one. Sorry guys.
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