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Thread: Having a child is a beautiful thing, but...

  1. #1
    *in love with kyle busch* Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend has a reputation beyond repute Music Fiend's Avatar
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    Default Having a child is a beautiful thing, but...

    What happens when that child has a disease or a major disability at or close to birth?

    Think about it. If you look at some of the statistics out there for certain infant hood diseases and illnesses...they are scary. We all say, in out hearts, that we would love the child no matter what; regardless of if it were severely ill or disfigured. But, once you stop letting your heart control your every emotion and step...do you honestly think that? Could you really take care of a disfigured/ill/deaf/etc. child, without giving up or just wanting to end his, her, or your own life, out of just pure pity...or...self-centered anger, perhaps?

    Take this hypothetical situation: your child is born deaf, or with severe mental retardation or a lacking of the ability to grow substantially. What would you do? Would you hang in there, and truly take the "Beauty is only skin deep./ I'll love my child no matter what." thing to heart, or do you give the child up for adoption...abandon it...?

    Would you honestly be able, looking at whom you are mentally now, to deal with that pain?

    -----------------------

    I, myself, am quite afraid of my child being born with some kind of deficiency or illness. I don't think I would be able to do it, at all. It would crush me. I would have to give the baby up to adoption or do something, because I wouldn't be able to handle it. I would NEVER kill a baby over such a thing; the baby is an innocent being - I have no right to. But I wouldn't be the strong parent saying "I'll love you forever. I don't care." ~ at least, it doesn't seem like it.

  2. #2
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    Wow, I've never really thought about this before. Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do. But I could never give the child up. Assuming that it's my child, I'd take care of him/her. They always seem to be able to bring that good side in me. Maybe it's out of self-pity but I swear, I could never abandom disabled child.

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  3. #3
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    I mean people, well I'll say most, know what they're getting into when they decide to have children. People don't let fear stop them from doing things. It's a poor excuse. You shouldn't have children if you feel you won't be able to handle it. Keeping a child like that...out of pity? I've heard no such thing...If thats gonna be your reason. Don't have any..just don't. It's not like you can put in an order for the perfect baby.

    Mentally now? I'm not even thinking about kids now and I honestly don't want any kids...the responsibility regardless of disorder or not..I don't want to deal with.I'm lazzy...barely take care of myself. xD
    Hey, when I'm older and got things together...I may think differently.

    Until you're a parent you can never really know. That..bond ya'know..

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    I feel the same as you, being the person I am now I wouldnt be able to handle it, but never would I have the baby killed but id just simply give them up for adoption even though it would still hurt me to see my baby go away

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Music Fiend View Post
    I, myself, am quite afraid of my child being born with some kind of deficiency or illness. I don't think I would be able to do it, at all. It would crush me. I would have to give the baby up to adoption or do something, because I wouldn't be able to handle it. But I wouldn't be the strong parent saying "I'll love you forever. I don't care." ~ at least, it doesn't seem like it.
    Hope you never find anyone of the opposite sex. I find your views disgusting, yes you have your opinion but i have people i know who have sisters/brothers/friends who are just as you are describing. Guess i am of the the other view since i help with kids of "Deficiency or Illness"!

    When you grow up & leave college, then think about.

  6. #6
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    I'd certainly love my child no matter what its condition would be. I just wouldn't like it (the child).

    face·less –adjective 2.lacking personal distinction or identity


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    Would love to child no matter what i probably wouldnt like the fact it happened but i would love and care for my child.


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    These things are usually detected way before birth or even close to birth, touch wood, but if my kid was to have mental retardation I'd abort. It's the only circumstances where I would even consider abortion.


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  9. #9
    There's nothing new Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000 has a reputation beyond repute Manhattan_Project_2000's Avatar
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    Bathe them in alcohol. The weak die and the strong survive. And if they have any obvious deformities, throw them off a cliff. That's the Spartan way.
    Ehhh, I dunno if I'll stick around. We'll see.

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    I would still love it, but it would still be hard, because you want to give your child the best things in life, and if it was deformed, well you can't give it that.

  11. #11
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    I would take care of it no matter what abnormalities it had.
    >:B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Being a parent myself, fearing that your child is born with a deformaty is frightening. My kid came out perfect. But no matter what, I'd love her the same no matter how she came out.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Manhattan_Project_2000 View Post
    Bathe them in alcohol. The weak die and the strong survive. And if they have any obvious deformities, throw them off a cliff. That's the Spartan way.
    Damn it all, you beat me to it.
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  14. #14
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    Hmmm, it would be very difficult. I'd be unhappy but life isn't fair anyway. If you're a responsible person, you shall have no regrets. If you sacrifice to raise the child than you can be considered a hero.

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    I've seen this come up a few times in the paper and i have to think about the fact, what would it be like for the child growing up with the difficulties/abnormalities. I have thought about this a couple of times and yeah i guess the parent would pretty much suffer due to the 24/7 caring. You think you suffer.. but i guess the child wouldn't like it that much either :/



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    Quote Originally Posted by Manhattan_Project_2000 View Post
    Bathe them in alcohol. The weak die and the strong survive. And if they have any obvious deformities, throw them off a cliff. That's the Spartan way.
    That's why the Spartans are the coolest greeks. And I said it before the movie was released, and Spartans became widely accepted as cool too.

    I'm all for eugenics. If it works for animals, why should it not work in people?



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  17. #17
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    Deaf and blind are no where near the same category as a child with Down's or some other form of retardation.
    Deaf and blind children are quite capable of functioning as "normal" children. Sure you'll need to learn sign language or invest in a braille writer, but it's not that bad.

    As for Down's children, they require a great deal of patience and care...and unfortunately, a lot of money. I wouldn't be able to afford to care for a Down's child or any child that required that much extra care. I've no patience for it so I'd most likely give him or her up for adoption.
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  18. #18
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    Okay.. If you have a child, NO MATTER WHAT"S WRONG WITH IT, you should love it the same. You should always be there for him or her and comfort them.I think that if you feel like you are ready to have a child then you should raise that child no matter what. I have a lot of feelings on this subject but I don't think that i am going to go into this. I would end up writing several pages worth of my thoughts and things like that.. so i will leave with you should love and take care of your children no matter what. You brought them into this world...
    "Sometimes I wonder if you remember when I loved you"
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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myrra View Post
    Deaf and blind children are quite capable of functioning as "normal" children.
    Do you mean "deaf and blind" at the same time? If so would you possibly have some links to info on this as I would consider a child born with both disabilities would be extreamly isolated and near impossible to communicate with.

    Personally I would consider this, "will my child have a decent quality of life with this disability". If I would deam this answer as no then I would be for an abortion, at the end of the day it does not matter how much you love someone, if they cannot have a decent chance at living life. Note that this is extramly subjective and different people will have different views as to what a decent life should be. Also as most people on this site are not parents it is hard to make these kind of comments without a high degree of inexperience (I hope that makes some sence)

    jamie5192 - I agree with your statment though I feel that in extreme cases of deformaty/disability it is a greater kindness to not let people live in a state of torment - though I will agree that the conditions that people lable as extreme will differ greatly.
    Last edited by overwatch; 09-27-2007 at 02:32 PM.

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    I love Kids but I have a Speech problem long time ago so I don't no if my kids will have the same thing I used to have and anyway I don't want to get merry Never

  21. #21
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    Okay you all better not be serious about tossing the kid over the side of a cliff and all that crap because if you are I swear I hunt you down like a blood hound and do 2 times as much to you! That's just wrong and it seriously pisses me off like nothing else! You ever treat your kid like that.. EVER.. I ... *starts shaking* That's just bull Talking like that. even if you are just joking around!
    Last edited by Bean Bandit; 10-10-2007 at 07:57 PM.
    "Sometimes I wonder if you remember when I loved you"
    "And sometimes.. I wonder why it's you.. whom I still run to"

  22. #22
    Senior Member overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch's Avatar
    Gil
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    As an extension to my earlier post I have known peole with bittle bone desease, those wheelchaire bound, a man with only a leg as far as his knee; and in all of those cases the indeviduals involved have had decent lives (the one with a lost leg did sports and DofE) and tried not to let thier diabilities hinder them, or thier enjoyment of life.
    As for mental conditions it is an extreamly hard area to judge. In cases of extreme mental retardation (an extreme disability to quote me of earlier) I would consider this a substancial barrier to the enjoyment of life. You also have to consider that many mentaly retarded people cannot live without constant aid from others, what happens then when you the parents die and leave your child in the world, who will look after him/her - there is a large number of homeless retarded people with no-one to care for them

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  23. #23
    the local clown I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock has a reputation beyond repute I<3ShellShock's Avatar
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    Even though I got about a decade to go, it'd be tough. Yet, you have all these hospitals that will sometimes help you if you need them and you can't afford it. Blindness and being deaf, as Myrra said, can be normal children. All they need is a little while of learning. If the child has Autism (I think that is how it's spelled.) would be a whole diffrent story.
    Babies/Kids with that don't pay attention and can't really learn anything, being incapeable of being a "normal" child. But no matter what, I'll love my child. (If I have one.)
    NOT

  24. #24
    Member VardomTheDark has much to be proud of VardomTheDark has much to be proud of VardomTheDark has much to be proud of VardomTheDark has much to be proud of VardomTheDark has much to be proud of VardomTheDark has much to be proud of VardomTheDark has much to be proud of VardomTheDark has much to be proud of VardomTheDark has much to be proud of VardomTheDark has much to be proud of VardomTheDark's Avatar
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    The answer is simple. No I wouldn't, for the simple fact, if i were to became disabled or got some kind of illness i would expect someone to take care of me. If i was going to be a father and they asked me and my wife if i wanted to get rid of the pregnancy or turn down a unborn child with a sickness or disability before it was even born, I would take care of the child.
    "Death is Only the Beginning, for Death Serves a Greater Purpose."
    by VardomtheDark.





  25. #25
    Out now, in theatres DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Masali View Post
    Damn it all, you beat me to it.
    Yeah, he beat me too.
    Like one of Eris' suggestions says, "throw the little buggers in the incinerator", and if someone questions your morality, remind them that THIS IS SPARTAAA!!!


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