it was just a small cut

[vixen_wolf]

I knew I shouldn’t but it helped

It was just a small cut

My dog got sick I loved her so much I got sad

It was just a small cut

Me and my friend got into a fight I went home mad

It was just a small cut

got a bad grade and I worked so hard I felt stressed

It was just a small cut

I knew I had a problem but I wouldn’t admit it

My mom and me kept fighting we just never stopped I became angry

It was just a few cuts

My friends were all leaving me they said id changed I became depressed

It was just a few cuts

My grades were slipping the teachers were mad I became overwhelmed

It was just a few cuts

I couldn’t take it anymore so I killed the pain

It was just a few cuts

Woke up in the hospital I had lost a lot of blood I barely pulled through

It was just a small cut

---------------------------------------

im just working on it i wuold like some feed back i want to improve it its kinda i true story....so uh plz post

[Ari_86]

I think its pretty good but theres somthing not right about it. But its really good in my opinion. I just cant find out what there is wrong..hmm..well...Good job keep up the good work youll be get better.

[vixen_wolf]

yeah i know but i cant figure it out ethier...thats why i posted it

[Kalt96]

It's good. Maybe you could explain your feelings a little bit further instead of exausting the use of your anaphora. But it's very good though.

[vixen_wolf]

oh you mean like my "dog got sick i loved here so much and was afraid to lose her i wanted to cry" that sorta thing??

[Kalt96]

Nop. What I mean is that you could provide the poem with more feelings that you have instead of exausting your anaphora

It was just a small cut/It was just a few cuts

. My personal recomendation would be to try to writte more verses in a paragraph, like 4 or 5 if you want, so that you could relate more feelings to the "cutting part".

[Aleyna]

i loved how the meaning of the repitition changed, got deeper, and more personal throughout the poem

[DemonicRay]

This is pretty good.. ^^ but sounded pretty emo in the start..

Hmm... it's nice nicely done ^^ good job and keep up the good work,...

[vixen_wolf]

wow im glad im getting so much suport....gah emo >.< i hate that word but thnx

[Ichiro Matsuchani]

I can't believe I had to delete two posts here. I thought this problem was resolved, but I stand corrected.

"It was good" "Great" "it rox!!11" Are NOT allowed and will be deleted. It will also take away from your post count.

Just another side-note, in the poetry section, you don't label poems with the "Poem:[title]", you just put the name of the poem.

[Daenerys]

I really liked this. It reminds me of the poems I used to write when I was a cutter. Sometimes it's best to write other than do. I don't care what anyone says, I'll always love reading these kinds of poems. The ones with raw emotion. These are always some of the most powerful ones I've ever read.