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Thread: Original Fiction: Day of the Crows + character sketches

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    Junior Member Advent Hunter will become famous soon enough Advent Hunter's Avatar
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    08-27-2007 05:16 PM
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    Default Original Fiction: Day of the Crows + character sketches

    Here's an original fiction I wrote called Day of the Crows. It's the very first one story that I wrote and finish 2 chapters of it, others failed miserably after the 3rd paragraph.

    It's inspired by many animes although the biggest would probably come from Fushigi Yuugi maybe due to the 7 celestial warriors the 4 guardians.

    The first story arc is called Resurrection of Kenkon which is about the fall of the empire and becoming ruled by an evil guy and then it's rise again after his defeat.

    Day of the Crows revolves around the 7 Codes of Bushido, Heavenly Virtues and Deadly Sins.

    There are some cheesy lines and probably a lot of grammar mistakes (but I couldn't bother correcting them,hehe). The Japanese names and such might be a little off, so forgive me I don't speak Japanese, hehehe.

    Simultaneous explosions rip through the silent night, a sign that the war has reached the city of Kenkon. The rebels led by a mysterious man destroyed their way through the capital city. Burning down buildings, raping women and killing thousands of brave warriors, elders and children. The air of the night was filled with the scent of blood while the sky was painted in a mournful black, red and orange. The noise was ear splitting; the cries of women, men and children synchronize with the thunderous explosions and chanting of the rebels all became the hymn of the empire.

    The emperor watches in horror from the safety of the castle. His eyes melt just by looking at the horrid scenery. He looked away for a moment and breathes deeply then he quickly glanced at the city. Revenge and saving the city and its citizen are all the things that he could think of. With no second thoughts he decides to join his soldier in saving the empire.

    “Elder Chiyo, I have to go and save Kenkon” Emperor Daisuke said mournfully.

    “Emperor Daisuke, I know you are put in to power to protect Kenkon and I’m assuming you are still aware of the cursed bestowed to you by Mistress Hayate” Elder Chiyo responded

    Silence fell for a second

    “You know you will…...” before he could finish the sentence, Elder Chiyo was quickly interrupted by the emperor, “I’m well aware about the destiny that had been laid out for me.” “Damn that Mistress,” Emperor added with disdain as he clenched his fist as if his trying to crush a rock into dust.

    Trying to put on a happy face, Elder Chiyo replied, “Well, you are certainly a brave man.”

    “Don’t make me laugh Elder Chiyo…..if you’re not brave enough to fight for your people then you’re not fit to be the leader of this empire ” Emperor Daisuke jokingly replied.

    “You’re correct emperor, you’re truly correct” Elder Chiyo replied apologetically.

    “I don’t want to waste anymore time and I surely don’t want anymore blood spilled in the streets of Kenkon” replied Emperor Daisuke while suiting up for the war, he added with a smile, “I must go now.”

    Elder Chiyo replied, “I will pray to the Gods for your protection”

    Emperor Daisuke stops in his track, “Please, save the prayer to the people” he paused, “And please, protect my wife and child,” he added. He continued his way out of room, the fading sound of his footsteps is soon followed by the door slamming shut.

    From the other of the side of the castle, the empress is unaware of the emperor’s sudden decision to go to war, but she always had a feeling that someday the emperor will fight in this war. Suddenly, someone knocks on the door, a very weak knock as if someone is about to send a very mournful message and that is the case.

    “Could you please open the door, Kiyushi” instructed by the empress to one of her loyal servants as she tries to put her baby to sleep, “Yes, my empress” replied the youthful and graceful maiden, Kiyushi.

    Kiyushi opened the door and there stood Elder Chiyo. The empress glanced at him, her eyes were on the verge of tears but they seem lost among the serenity that the empress carries on her face.

    “Elder Chiyo” she stuttered, “It’s nice to see you in this hour of the night” she added. “Empress Minako….I..ah..” Elder Chiyo stuttered as he tries to announce the Emperor’s decision, he tried to continue but the empress interrupts him, “I know why you are here” she solemnly replied. Elder Chiyo felt an unease slowly overcoming him. “You’re here to announce that the Emperor had gone to war”, she paused, “It’s his duty to protect the people and no one could stop him from going to war, even I… don’t have the power to do that.”

    “Let’s just hope for the best” she added as she rocks the baby back and forth. “Yes, my empress” Elder Chiyo replied.

    Distance away, the city is in hell. The rebel’s leader, a tall brooding young man, grinned as his dream to overtake the empire is finally coming true. He got off from the horse and steps into the blood stained street. He observes the burning city, laughing menacingly deep inside. “It’s finally coming true” he thought as he continues scanning the burning city “The city of Kenkon is finally in the mercy of my hands.”

    Then he noticed a child cowering in the corner, his eyes tainted red, strained from all the tears shed from witnessing the death of his parents. The mysterious man walks up to him “You poor child” he said with sarcastic sympathy “Witnessing the death of your parent must have affected you dearly.” The child looks at him with fear and sorrow in his eyes. “It would be easier for you to die right now than to live without a parent and carry all the burden of nurturing yourself in an early age” he replied with a sinister laugh as he grabs and shake the child’s head. Then he shoved the kid and walked away. “Today must be your lucky day kid.” The child ran into the alleys and fades into the fire.

    From a distance, he sees a figure he could barely see due to the smoke and fire clouding the cityscape but by the way the figure is standing he knew it was the emperor.

    “I never thought that you would fight in the war or better yet fight me, big brother!” he paused “Or do I say Emperor Daisuke”, the mysterious man grinned. “Enough!” commanded the emperor as he run towards his brother and ready to strike him with his katana. “Ha!..what?!” he exclaimed as he miss his brother. “I’m stronger now, Daisuke! I’m not the little kid that everyone used to step on anymore”, he replied while dodging his brother’s strikes then he aimed and kicked him in the stomach sending him flying in the air. “Aahhh!” he screamed in pain.

    The emperor crashed into the charred debris. Smoke formed and debris flew seconds after his impact. His eyes were wired shut as he tries to overcome the agonizing pain. Then he opened his eyes, the first thing that he notice was that he was lying in a pool of blood. He slowly lifts up his arm and saw that they were also covered with blood. Seconds later, he looked down at his stomach and blood was gushing out of the injury, what he feared the most was coming true.

    “How can this be”, the emperor thought with fear, then his brother walked up to him, amused “Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that there are blades underneath my shoes.” He looked up at his brother with rage, fear and sorrow. “I...I. have failed to save the empire” the emperor murmurs while coughing blood.

    “You amused me brother, you should have run away while you can”, the mysterious man commented. “Psss..I would rather die protecting my people than……” the emperor was interrupted by his brother, piercing his injury with a charred stake. “Ahhh!!” the emperor screamed in agony.

    The mysterious man walked away from his brother. The emperor’s body is giving in but his spirit is still strong. Still determined to live through the injury and save the empire

    Then he scans for a stake until he found one. “God of the heavens, please lend me your strength even for one last time” he cried. He breathes deeply and aimed for his brother and with all his might he threw the stake towards him. The mysterious man sensed the attack, dodging the stake and catching it with his hands. “You poor sweet thing, I would have killed you instantly but I want your death to be as slow and painful as possible”, the mysterious man concluded.


    The Knowledge (Prudence) *not present in the story yet.

    Name:Chieko Shinchou

    I'll update this one for the next chapter and other character images that I drew.
    Hope you enjoyed it even though if it sucks

    -Constructive criticism would be nice too.
    Last edited by Advent Hunter; 08-27-2007 at 05:36 PM.

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