Is It My Fault???

[Aki no iko]

I live in a middle class area. I mean I have a roomy house and my mom would give me money every week as an allowance...an allowance of $20 for cleaning the house. The child support money that my dad has to pay my mom is only $174. My mom's feeling that the money isn't enough to support the three kids in the house for a month. (Three being me, my lil brother, and my lil sister) So she's filing out a paper and demanding that my dad increase the child support by $300 per month. I'm feeling that our tight money case is partially my fault...mostly my fault.

I mean my mom spends money on food and beverages, her car, the rent, clothing, jewelry bills, electric bills, newspaper bill, trash pick-up bill, water bill, property tax, phone bill, internet bill, etc.

Another major amount of money goes in paying for my medical bills. I've been hospitalized twice for being a "grave danger to myself" thing. Our insurance only pays for a small amount of the bill because it's HMO. She has to pay for paramedics, ambulance, police intervention, the visit to CCAIR unit, more ambulance and paramedics to the hospital, patient fee, food and necessities within the hospital, medication, psychiatrist meetings, and so on. I mean I had my troubles with life's obstacle and made some bad choices, but I really wanna know is that...

Is it really my fault for the money situation?

[Azel]

Ask yourself this. Did you think it was your fault when they divorced? It is not fair to yourself that you strictly take all the blame. You as a family all contribute to "the bills". Personally, I don't see at as strictly your fault and it will make you feel no better if you dwell on the thought of it being your fault either.

[Wio]

It is partually your fault. However, that isn't what is important.

[pab]

it cant be your fault. unless you purposely did stuff, which i doubt judging form your post.
but you should try to help her, your mom that is, if you feel like you should.

[pab]

It is partually your fault. However, that isn't what is important.

its not her fault, or his (sorry im sleepy right now and cant remember), im preety shure that she didnt do anything on pourpose.
and i highly doubt she makes her self sick.
it things that happen.

[Wio]

You don't need to have intention to be at fault. When an apple hit Newton it was gravity's fault.



The second clause in my post is the real point.

[pab]

dude she ment fault as if she were the total cause
fault for EVERYTHING
i agree that if she feels bad she should help
but is the intentions that count

[Wio]

dude she ment fault as if she were the total cause
fault for EVERYTHING
i agree that if she feels bad she should help
but is the intentions that count

It is partually your fault. However, that isn't what is important.

When I said 'partually', what I meant was 'partially', I appologize for the mistake. Obviously you can't be partially and entirely at fault at the same time.

The real point to my post was that 'the blame game' isn't important.

What is important is solving problems, not pointing fingers.

[pab]

i see...
i agree with that last post, however
well i got to sleep
i apologize for the little flame war
:3

[The Governator]

Now then, its not your fault, unless you caused your parents to divorce, then its totally your fault.

Also if you keep going to hospital, be more careful,and dont accept an allowence for helping around the house, just do it to help your mom out, I do sometimes and I don;t get paid a single penny,

[bankai]

you're not 18 or 21(depending on the country)...so you're still not legally responsible for your actions but there still is the moral issue... i don't know what you did that made you think you're responsible for the money issue...maybe it's just that you realised that you only consume and you don't produce any money...and because of the financial difficulties it appeared to you as a guilt... i hope that it won't be a third time with that danger to yourself stuff... and if it is what i think it is then, no offence but you're a coward...there are people who live in worse conditions than you do...be thankful that you still have somethingto eat, something to drink and somewhere to sleep...sry for being so franc but sooner or later someone had to tell you this

[zyronet]

Its not really your fault. So don't blame yourself badly. Don't feel guilty or else you would just start to hate yourself and that would ruin you.

[███]

You can always get a job and help out? Having poor financial problems whether it was your cause or not is not your responsibility cause if she wasn't prepared to pay for you she shouldn't have had you in the first place.

It bottles down to guilt, if you feel guilty for it then do something about it.

[unspun]

GOD you really shouldn't be asking advice from a bunch of preteen narutards.

No, it's not your fault, you weren't the one who decided to get pregnant and then divorced.

there is public assistance if she can't afford you

you need money to be a kid

(and if these hospitalizations are for psyche stuff, knock it the * off.)

[Reniti]

I'm agreeing(sp?) to what everyone else is saying. Did you marry someone and have three kids when you knew how much money you'd need? You never made your parents split up, and even with all those bills, it's not your fault. Take that weight off your shoulders....

[I am your stalker]

I live in a middle class area. I mean I have a roomy house and my mom would give me money every week as an allowance...an allowance of $20 for cleaning the house. The child support money that my dad has to pay my mom is only $174. My mom's feeling that the money isn't enough to support the three kids in the house for a month. (Three being me, my lil brother, and my lil sister) So she's filing out a paper and demanding that my dad increase the child support by $300 per month. I'm feeling that our tight money case is partially my fault...mostly my fault.

I mean my mom spends money on food and beverages, her car, the rent, clothing, jewelry bills, electric bills, newspaper bill, trash pick-up bill, water bill, property tax, phone bill, internet bill, etc.

Another major amount of money goes in paying for my medical bills. I've been hospitalized twice for being a "grave danger to myself" thing. Our insurance only pays for a small amount of the bill because it's HMO. She has to pay for paramedics, ambulance, police intervention, the visit to CCAIR unit, more ambulance and paramedics to the hospital, patient fee, food and necessities within the hospital, medication, psychiatrist meetings, and so on. I mean I had my troubles with life's obstacle and made some bad choices, but I really wanna know is that...

Is it really my fault for the money situation?

Look by reading your post by what I can tell it isn't all your fault and by look alown I would say your trying to find things that are your fault!! And I can tell you now it is never just one persons fault so don't let it get to you!! ok

[Nausicaa]

I do not think that it is your fault. I think that you are being alittle too hard on yourself. If you think that something is your fault, even by alittle bit then try to help your mother in any way that you can. But as far as I can see, going on what I have read in your post, I think that you need to not be that hard on yourself. If something did happen that really was your fault then try to fix it. Everyone makes mistakes, do not beat yourself up about it.

[smile1010]

The child support money that my dad has to pay my mom is only $174. My mom's feeling that the money isn't enough to support the three kids in the house for a month. (Three being me, my lil brother, and my lil sister) So she's filing out a paper and demanding that my dad increase the child support by $300 per month.

First of all, my dad pays up to 500$ for TWO kids, you have three and the child support should be way way way higher then that. Oh i forgot, he pays it ever TWO weeks. Every month would be torture.

I'm feeling that our tight money case is partially my fault...mostly my fault.

Save up the money that she gives y ou just in case, don't waste it because it might come in handy alter on, even if it's just a dent.

I mean my mom spends money on food and beverages, her car, the rent, clothing, jewelry bills, electric bills, newspaper bill, trash pick-up bill, water bill, property tax, phone bill, internet bill, etc.

Maybe you should cut back on some of these, Newspaper and internet aren't so important..


Maybe some of the things, [like the medical things]are because of you but believe me it's not all your fault.

<3

[Tenhauser]

GOD you really shouldn't be asking advice from a bunch of preteen narutards.

At least it isn't /b/tards...

It is not your fault but the fault of circumstance and bad luck, which no one has any control over.

[Lunafreya Fleuret]

Well, why don't you ask your mom that? Let her say if it is or not.

[Pancakes]

its not your fault
tho what you can do is
go out do small stuff like cut lawns an stuff
you worry about you mom than change some stuff about you money spending
but its not your fault just try an help your mom some more

[Azel]

GOD you really shouldn't be asking advice from a bunch of preteen narutards.

No, it's not your fault, you weren't the one who decided to get pregnant and then divorced.

there is public assistance if she can't afford you

you need money to be a kid

(and if these hospitalizations are for psyche stuff, knock it the * off.)

Narutards. That's something to add to my vocabulary.

[Coeur Triste]

I live in a middle class area. I mean I have a roomy house and my mom would give me money every week as an allowance...an allowance of $20 for cleaning the house. The child support money that my dad has to pay my mom is only $174. My mom's feeling that the money isn't enough to support the three kids in the house for a month. (Three being me, my lil brother, and my lil sister) So she's filing out a paper and demanding that my dad increase the child support by $300 per month. I'm feeling that our tight money case is partially my fault...mostly my fault.

I mean my mom spends money on food and beverages, her car, the rent, clothing, jewelry bills, electric bills, newspaper bill, trash pick-up bill, water bill, property tax, phone bill, internet bill, etc.

Another major amount of money goes in paying for my medical bills. I've been hospitalized twice for being a "grave danger to myself" thing. Our insurance only pays for a small amount of the bill because it's HMO. She has to pay for paramedics, ambulance, police intervention, the visit to CCAIR unit, more ambulance and paramedics to the hospital, patient fee, food and necessities within the hospital, medication, psychiatrist meetings, and so on. I mean I had my troubles with life's obstacle and made some bad choices, but I really wanna know is that...

Is it really my fault for the money situation?

Yes, it is your fault.
But also, no, it is not your fault.

It's not your fault that your mother has to pay the typical bills.
But it is your fault for being a danger to yourself.

See, from the way this sounds, "I've been hospitalized twice for being a "grave danger to myself" thing," I would take it that you've had emotional bouts and have cut yourself, tried to overdose, etc. Something which is in my opinion rather stupid. I'm not trying to lecture you, but I am simply and bluntly answering your question to the fact that it is your fault.

However, I could be entirely wrong. Depression and liking to hurt oneself, I think that's masochism, are also mental illnesses, I'm quite sure. Those mental illnesses, I'm pretty sure, come from chemical inbalance and I don't know if you would have a direct influence on those or not.

So, really, it depends on the reason, I guess.

If it's because you just hated your life and were self pitying, yes, it is your fault.
If it's becaues you're legally diagonosed [sorry I spelt that wrong] with depression or another type of mental illness, no, it isn't your fault.

I hope I didn't contradict myself too much. I didn't think I could be too concrete in it-- I'm not a doctor [yet] after all.

And I'm sorry if I made you feel worse or negatively impacted you.

[Wio]

She asked if it was her fault but she never asked whether she should take responsibility for any of it.

I'll repeat myself again. I DOESN'T MATTER WHO IS AT FAULT!!
Christ people, blame games never got anyone anywhere. Knowing "who done it" a lone never solved any problems.

GOD you really shouldn't be asking advice from a bunch of preteen narutards.

GOD, you really shouldn't be on a forum with a bunch of preteen narutards.
And if you do think you should, then the statement is paradoxical.

[smile1010]

GOD, you really shouldn't be on a forum with a bunch of preteen narutards.
And if you do think you should, then the statement is paradoxical.

Have you seen the mods and and admins??
Some are in there twenties and some members on this site are way way older.
And please, this site is for all ages.