The Dungeon

[Howling Star]

Im captured in this dungeon
Longing for freedom
Counting the days til it wil come
I cant wait til I see the sun

I dont see any chains
But someting holds me
But I cant see
And these blood stains

How did I get those wounds
Is this the effect from sufering
I got nothing towards I can cling
All I can do is writing the days im here in the ground

But still I got this urge
To ask where am I
It dosent mather how many times I try
The gaurds wont tell me the name I search

For 13.5 years its hunting me
The place is probely inside my heart
That falls from part to part
It made me realise no it made me see

Im cursed and sad
Cursed in my own
Sad to be all alone
Nobody can save me but I want so bad

Please somone
Just try to get to me
Make me see
You wil come

Somone who comes for me
That would be nice
Cause now I only got flys
Come to me and show me what I wanna see

Hapiness freedom
To make fun and be free
Thats how I wanna be
Please let my wish come

True

[dream magician]

Wow,you are getting better!I love it and really such a nice job.
Don't worry i know someday you will be free,just wait,no.13,black cat.

[Ichiro Matsuchani]

Lacks detail, bland, and boring.

There's such a thing as being too direct on your point through a poem, and this is an example. Try more of refering to it in a less obvious way.