Dream

[Howling Star]

Hope you like it. If you wanna coment do so.

That dream that died
It once shined so bright
I lost its sight
I feeld an bite

I cant widstand this pain
Its making me insnane
The depresion inside
My soul died

I got this heart
That keeps me living but I drew the wrong card
That dream is fading right before my eyes
All those lies

All the pain and strugling
I don't get a thing
To what will I strive
To what sort of goal wil I dedicate my life

Is it to die
Or to retrieve my soul and don't have to say good bye

All I know is I wanna be happy

[DragonFly23692]

well i think its pretty good.. good job

[miarori_satins_rose]

Hope you like it. If you wanna coment do so.

That dream that died
It once shined so bright
I lost its sight
I feeld an bite

I cant widstand this pain
Its making me insnane
The depresion inside
My soul died

I got this heart
That keeps me living but I drew the wrong card
That dream is fading right before my eyes
All those lies

All the pain and strugling
I don't get a thing
To what will I strive
To what sort of goal wil I dedicate my life

Is it to die
Or to retrieve my soul and don't have to say good bye

All I know is I wanna be happy

i like it its cool by the way im a girl

[ishakak]

" i feeld an bite " that makes no sence. Maybe you should put in, " It lost it's light"
" My soul died " you could change that to " I can no longer hide" I like that cuz it has 2 meanings 1- you can't hide yourself. 2- you can't hide the depression.

[Kawaii_Junkie]

Lovely.

[dream magician]

I like it so much,you really know how to say your feelings.Are you dreaming of becoming an writer?cause you are really fitted to be a writer.Do you also make stories?cause if you do,i so wanna read them.By the your poem is so nice,but sometimes the words lack,but it's cool........

[Howling Star]

Hmm im no writer just an 14 old year kid. Trying to poem. Maybe I once make a story if I do and if its finished I wil let it know. And PM it to those who want it. But the problems I never know where to start. And thanks for the Tips ishakak.