alot of people run into these. insecurities in a relationship, i have alot of them...id like to know how you over come them, because im afraid one day it'll get in the way of me and my bf's relationship. any ideas? please help!
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alot of people run into these. insecurities in a relationship, i have alot of them...id like to know how you over come them, because im afraid one day it'll get in the way of me and my bf's relationship. any ideas? please help!
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I'm afraid you can't just get rid of insecurities overnight. And it's not something that someone can explain to you how to get over in a couple of sentences.
Insecurity has to do with yourself - your outlook on yourself. You can have someone who loves you very much, but if you don't love yourself, then it's almost impossible to feel any sort of affection radiating off of the other person. Unless, of course, that's how you run away from your self-image.
Can you elaborate on what kind of insecurities you have about you and your boyfriend? What are you afraid of?
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well, ive been hurt so many times, and its not like i get special attention from my family..i mean my family...they dont care what i do, or anything..and i can say i have fallen for someone just as hard as i did for my bf and i was hurt terribly..im just afraid to really believe anything he says and what not....im just afriad i'll be hurt again..i just dont think i could bare getting hurt again....
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No offense, but it sounds as though you have low self-confidence to me. That's usually the root of all insecurities.
However, I'll rethink my opinion if my impression was flawed.
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yea, i dont have self confediance
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Well, then there you have it.
Though, there's nothing to worry about, you're not alone. So many people suffer from the same thing. Whether it be low confidence in one's self or abilities.
You can only give what you have. If you don't have any confidence then you can't give confidence to a crumbling relationship. It's like the creamy center of every oreo: It just isn't as good without it.
Focus more on you than your relationship. What do you lack confidence in? How do you think that you can fix it?
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Trust is a very fragile thing. I know firsthand when you say you're scared to trust someone else because of something someone has done to you in the past. It's not easy.
But here's the thing you have to realize: Not all people are the same. Not all people will hurt you, or treat you in the same way. So, you can hold yourself back, worrying and being scared of being rejected, or you can go head first into it, and put your heart into something you love, no regrets. And if it ends up badly, well, I'm afraid you won't have anything to regret if you put your whole heart into your relationship. That would mean it wasn't meant to be. If you spend your time worrying about the outcome, and it really does end up in a mess, well, you'll never know how you could have changed it if you just trusted yourself a bit more.
Don't be scared to be hurt. You're still young, and everyone has to go through pain. It is the only way we get stronger. And believe me, you'll pull through if you're hurt again. Not right away, but eventually.
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And when the day arrivesI'll become the skyAnd I'll become the seaAnd the sea will come to kiss meFor I am going home.Nothing can stop me now.
maybe...i mean he knows everything about me, and he knows i have insecurities, he doesnt bring it up often, and this one time i did, and he said "nobody will ever take your place, i love you so much, i dont know what i would do without having you by my side" and all i could do was cry. i just didnt know what to say. i was so happy, but if i was so happy, then why did i start to cry and stuff? but i dont know.
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You just have to trust them and not jump to conclusions. I'm a very paranoid and insecure person and it's come very close to messing up my relationship on more than one occasion. My girlfriend has always beared with me, not always very sensitively but she's never thrown me aside like I know a lot of people would...and have. Just trust him and remind yourself that he's proven he is trustworthy.
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Show your work.
8(2x+3x-15)+2=7+19
8(5x-15)+2=26
40x - 120 + 2 = 26
40x - 118 = 26
40x=I saw what you did with that thirteen year old.
A++
you say he knows everything about u, does he know what your insecurities are though?
you say he doesn't bring it up often
you should ahve a discussion with him about it
maybe hes not aware of how ba dits effecting you
plus by you telling him informately this could help the both of u out and he could help u while u could help him
Hey, that's superific...almost superduperific...almost.maybe...i mean he knows everything about me, and he knows i have insecurities, he doesnt bring it up often, and this one time i did, and he said "nobody will ever take your place, i love you so much, i dont know what i would do without having you by my side" and all i could do was cry. i just didnt know what to say. i was so happy, but if i was so happy, then why did i start to cry and stuff? but i dont know.
The only way to get rid of these insecurities is to raise your own self-confidence (which is easier said than done). It's be better to feel good about yourself and have no relationship, than to have a relationship and still have low self esteem. Don't build yourself on his amorous comments alone, you shouldn't feel loved and wanted because he says so, but because you truly know it without words. Maybe you should sit this guy down and have a more indepth conversation about your insecurities, because his words (which were well-intended) really didn't tackle the issue to the core. You just need to let it all out, even scream if you want...don't scream at him, of course. :P
I usually tackle insecurities by sleeping, but since that's too simple-minded, I also have a good talk with myself on "Why I'm feeling insecure?" Its mostly because I like distance myself, but feel close to others at the same time. Not knowing and ignoring it is probably what's really depressing.
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I have them in my relationships too. Its really a common thing.
Never doubt anything. Have absolute confidence in everything you do. Dump them and move on.
face·less –adjective 2.lacking personal distinction or identity
I know what you are going through. I have been in my first relationship for 4 years. We are moving in together in February and we plan to get married and have kids (he's older than I am and is ready to settle. I have been ready to settle for a while now.)
We work at the same place (different shifts, different departments) and at work there is one female I really hate. She's not amazingly beautiful or anything and has an incredibly fat but she is rather rude. She used to always walk past me and say nothing or if I were walking with another person, she would say hi to them. I never did anything to her and she's in her 30's so you would think she'd be more mature than that. All of a sudden she starts saying hi to me and talking to me. It's probably because I am going out with him (he has worked there for along time and has many friends) and that pisses me off. I don't talk to people because of who they are involved with. She is very close frineds with another girl and that girl always says hi to me when they walk by and the one I don't like would just look in the other direction.
Anyways, she always goes into the front ofice to talk to him. I know they have been friends for a while and she does have a boyfriend but she really has no reason to go in and talk to him at all. He is faithful to me (we spent just about every single day together so he has no choice :P ) and he really loves me and wants a family with me but she bothers me. I told him yesterday my feelings about it and he assured me that if he felt that way towards another person, he wouldn't be with me. It made him upset that I would assume anything but I couldn't help it. Even if she does have a thing for him, he doesn't have anything for her but I can't help but be bothered by him possibly liking some other girl.
It's kinda confusing. I know he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me and that he would feel guilty if he ever did but she really bothers me for some reason. Basically, bring it up so at least it is out in the open and it does make you feel better.
Last edited by Kewii; 01-15-2007 at 06:56 AM. Reason: language
Thanks for helping, im going to have a little talk with him later...i do hope it works out ok, i will let you all know if it does, wish me luck!
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you have just been really assertive and confident when talking to me, so I know that you have a least a bit of confidence, good luck to you tonight when you talk to him and good luck to jadex for her overall life plan ( if that makes any sense)
thanks kingdomhearts tom, your a good friend!
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it's nothing you gave me some sound advice and if you have as deep and meaningful of a dicussion as what you've had on here you've got nothing to worry about
i hope so. im sure it'll work out fine. i guess i havent told the whole story of why im so insecure and i have no self confediance....to tell the truth i used to be emo, before i found my band, i almost commited suicide, i would spend days locked in my room just crying....but then i found my band..and Kenny and things started to get better from there. i mean, getting raped as a child (numerous times) being avoided by your family.....your own mother telling you to commit suicide, that you were never sopposed to happen. you cant litterally tell me that you would have self confediance after all this happens to you can you? you cant litterally tell me you wouldnt be scared of the world and you cant tell me that you wouldnt be afraid to have a relationship with someone right?
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all you can do is hope for the best.
i know it sounds cheesy and is probably something you don't want to pin all of your hopes and dreams on but... well you get the drift
my friend lost both of his parents in the same year but he has stuck up his chin and plodded on, i'm glad you managed to get past all of your trials cause it gives weaker people someone to look up to
i'm a little idealilistic (if thats the word) fool because i i'm one of those people that thinks that everything will be alright,
you've fought this far now please, no matter what you do don't give up on your happiness
Thats why im working hard and trying to become a better person, my friends are all around me and i look up to them, for being able to put up with me, after all sometimes i feel like the worlds biggest burdon. but things have continued to get better as the days past, so ive been becoming much happier too.
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phew i was a little worried to come back on after i wrote all that but it's ok.
you seem like a genuinely nice person who wouldn't have any problems making friends with me or any of the people i know, does "Kenny" (i think thats what you said) know about your talks on here, cause if he could hear about the way you speak so fondly of him and all of your friends how could they ever think of you as a burdon
he knows i love him so much, he knows that he and my band saved me from suicide, he knows it all. but im the worlds biggest crybaby too, thats why i used to feel like such a burdon and sometimes still do. Before, it was much harder to make friends with anyone...people would say "shes so pretty, whys she just so dead like that? she doesnt really talk to any one" and it was because i was so afriad. but yes kenny knows all about this, he knows everything about me.
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