Me

[Red&Stiletto]

Sooty soul,
Frozen solid
From the coldness of my heart
I can not feel
I do not kneel
down to a leader
I deserve a crown
For I have no emotions
To slow me down

Please comment. I would like to know how to better my poems. ~*Lady*~

[Senel Coolidge]

Sooty soul,

Frozen solid
From the coldness of my heart
I can not feel
I do not kneel
down to a leader
I deserve a crown
For I have no emotions
To slow me down

Please comment. I would like to know how to better my poems. ~*Lady*~

Short, Sweet and to the point, this poem is good, I just didn't get the line ''Sooty Soul''. . .I don't know what you meant by that. With by what you said in the last few lines, You have nothing to slow you down?

[♥-Elegant Crow-♥]

It's really simple. I did not truly understand your feelings while writing this. It may be 'Short and to the point', but no one truly understands agony, when it is this short..

Next time.. please add more words, for I adore the imaginary.

[Red&Stiletto]

Sooty soul is just another way of me saying 'black soul' or 'hateful soul'. To me, it kinda means the same thing. But I guess I could work on that.

~*Lady*~

[Daenerys]

I agree that it was too short and that it lacked imagry. It wasn't a very good poem, but it was a good first try and I suggest you try making longer poems next time. Short ones are usually best done when you have a lot of talent and grasp and concept... and you don't have much of either of those.