Trip & Fall

[Princess Cupcake]

The more I think about it,
The more I can’t live without it,
Any yeah,
My mind wonders.
Well oh,
I get in these daily blunders.
Of course,
I trip and fall,
But never will I lose it all.

I find myself staring into space.
I can’t help picturing your face.
And yeah,
I pretend you’re hear.
Well oh,
I need you near.
Of course,
I trip and fall,
But never will I lose it all.

My outer shell is so tough,
The inner me has had enough.
And yeah,
We’re all so fragile. [Fraj - aisle]
Well oh,
It’s never been this hard to smile.
Of course,
I trip and fall,
But here I’ll lie & continue to bawl.

These are like lyrics. Kinda. See, I really like country songs and the rhymes just came to me so freely. I hope you like my poem! And don't forget, contructive criticism! Please and thank you. (And yep, I say fragile differently then some.) <3

[Capernicus]

lol I see that, and it's good you pointed it out. I really like it, so much emotion and heart. The rhymes and repition of the lines sets the mood nicely. Could have done with a happy ending though.

[None of the above]

I really like your poem. And the rhymes and the repetitions are great. Keep it up!

[Dr.McDoom!]

lol, [Fraj - aisle] ?
Well, some phrases, one after another, don't make sense to me, but i guess they'd sound better with a guitar song in the background. Yeah.

[Skyla_G]

*groans* Hun, you keep asking for this contructive criticism but I cant find any flaws... no freys that need fixing... even if you were at a beat-nick joint I would ask you to read this EXACTLY how it is[meaning to leave in [fraj - aisle] it was like repeating... nyaa I know it was for a different reason but [I'm weird].

This is funny... as I was reading it I was like "I feel like singing this!" lol and then I see that you intended it to be like a song. >.< That's the strength in this poem. How each poem has 'material' similarities but WAY different from eachother... nyaaaa! I'm gonna keep nagging you to write more, man!
~Skyla-chan xoxoxo