Judge not a person by their age, but by their maturity level.Originally Posted by MistressPookyChan
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Judge not a person by their age, but by their maturity level.Originally Posted by MistressPookyChan
i won't tell you that i love you
K I S S OR H U G YOU
cuz i'm bluffin with my muffin
i'm not lyin', i'm just stunnin with myLOVE glue gunnincan't read my POKER FACE
While age and maturity are not one and the same, maturity does come with age, and nobody can deny that. It's very rare to find someone who is mature at 17. And I mean VERY rare.Originally Posted by Exodus
It's rare enough to find someone who is mature at 25.
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I agree with you. However, just because someone is seventeen, doesn't mean they don't have a higher maturity rate. I, for example, have a much highter maturity level than the larger majority of people the same age. This is caused by multiple reasons, things can occur that can force you to "grow up" more quickly. It is, indeed, rare. But it does happen and just because you're a certain age, doesn't mean you should be treated any poorer because of it.Originally Posted by Member Name
"Innocent until proven guilty."
i won't tell you that i love you
K I S S OR H U G YOU
cuz i'm bluffin with my muffin
i'm not lyin', i'm just stunnin with myLOVE glue gunnincan't read my POKER FACE
I feel that sex before marraige is OK in some cases. Now, if you are 16/17 or something and having a kid, It isn't right. But, if you are a grown adult and plan to stay with that person it is fine. nothing is wrong with that. I'm young, and not a virgin to be honest, But I still think that you shouldn't have sex it you are my age, or even 4 years older. It can wait. I regret losing m virginity, but that is in the past. If it isn't a matter of age, and only a matter of having a 'baserd' child, then it is OK. Nothing what-so-ever is wrong with that if you are adults. I could say more, but I'm in school and I don't want to get in trouble.
Like other's have said, There is a big difference. Just look harder. I can tell you right now, when I was 16 I was immature and restless. Now I'll be 18 on May 13 and I can tell you the experiences I've had through those few years have changed me and I feel a lot more mature. I also act it.Originally Posted by Sagat
There is also some adults that are way more immature then a 16/17 year old. I think if you think you're ready then you are. I mean it's no big deal anyhow. I don't know why people make such a big deal about it. For children, I agree that it's something they should not be doing but Not All 16/17 year olds are immature and 'Can't handle it'. They're just either really stupid and have to deal with the consiquences or they're ready for it and know what they're doing.
Any way, this topic is over done too much anyway.
And Who ever bad repped me for My OPINION, needs to grow up. If I went around bad repping people because I didn't agree with thier opinions then a lot of people would be in the red zone right now. So why not accept the fact that people have different opinions and smarten up.
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I really like the stuff minako said, she made good points that are true about being careful and not haveing sex before marrige is the smartests thing.I mean, what if you get married and you slept with other people before that?You will feel upset because you love the person your with, and nobody else was important but them and you had sex with them.When it never really went anywhere or toally went awful, and alot of teens who think they are in love.Do not know that when you grow up that is just natural to happen, you think you love that person when later you actully end up with nothing.Now sex not before marrige i agree with, but i think if you are a adult and i mean adult then it is your choice and that is the way it goes.But if you are a teenager and you don't know exactly what love is yet, or what you are getting yourself into then you have no reason.I just want less young sex really, 14 year olds haveing chirldren is just a terrible thing and It is a serious issue.
-TWM-
I totally agree you shouldn't be treated poorly, but telling a 16/17/18 year old they are not ready for sex isn't treating them poorly.Originally Posted by Exodus
As for the 16 vs. 17...yes there is a difference in maturity, BUT that difference is not great enough to justify saying it is okay for a 17 year old to have sex but not a 16 year old. As great as the difference may be, your experience is still too limited. Or it has been really messed up. Either way, most adults will caution against it because they have lived through it. But such is the way of life for the youth to think the elder are out of touch and go on about their ways. Some things just take time and honestly I don't understand what the rush is to grow up anyway.
Originally Posted by The Wing Man
I don't totally disagree with your opinion, but if I get married and have been with someone else, I would hope that the man I marry is not so shallow and close minded enough to judge my past as bad for doing what I felt was right. I would also hope he was not so manipulative to try to make me feel guilty about it.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
My silence could mean you are not worth the argument.
"For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach." ~J.R.R. Tolkien
I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you use protection and get tested regularly.
*sigh*
I should've never posted in this thread. Irrational numbskull didn't even leave a message.
I wonder if I should just go with having bad reps? The red matches my username font and RP character. :-P
More like immature until proven mature. Although, I think the maturity argument for sex-out-side-of-marriage is a moot one, because a Mature person is more than capable of handling any resulting consequences so should be allowed to engage in out-of-wedlock-nookie, but an immature person isn't but will anyway to spite... well, anyone. So an appeal to wait till one is mature is at best unrealistic, at worst counterproductive, since only someone who is mature or near-maturity would listen to you anyway.Originally Posted by Exodus
That's why my argument is to use birth control. A slightly better chance of working.
Ehhh, I dunno if I'll stick around. We'll see.
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Last Post: Video Vomit 05/11/11
Originally Posted by akiko_kalla
However, that is such a broad generalization. Not every person 16 through even 18 will be the same in variation. Everyone is different, same for maturity. People mature at different rates. I'm not saying that they should all go out and have sex right now, I'm not excusing it. I'm saying that you can't judge them JUST because they're a certain age. That's stupidity and ignorance, making you no better than them. =\
And Manhatten got the point that I was making, exactly. Setting yourself and others up to an unrealistic "standard" by any means is ridiculous. It's alright to have different opinions and live by different things. But by saying it's morally wrong and otherwise for those that do it is degrading and disrespectful. People will make their choices and live how they want, most of everyone learn from mistakes. Some are larger than others and yes, it should be avoided if possible, but it isn't always. And that's how the cookie crumbles.
Originally Posted by The Wing Man
Take into account that not everyone is like that. You can love someone, have sex with them, and in the end it may just not work out. I, personally, believe that there is that one person you'll end up with forever. But along the way, there will be others that you will fall in love with and may eventually end up giving yourself to them sexually. This is normal and part of a process. The person I'm in a relationship right now with is the only person I've ever had sex with and I do intend on staying with this person "forever", but in the case that I had had sex with others, I wouldn't feel guilty over it. It's ridiculous to feel guilty over something as silly as sharing yourself with another person, when you had strong feelings for that person at that time. Not everything will last "forever", things do change. Now, if you're just going off having sex just to have sex, I could understand the guilt thing. That would be reasonable. But you see, if you do find that one "special person" that will last "forever", you shouldn't feel guilty because you know now who you want to spend your life with and that you are giving all of yourself, right then to that person and that person alone. It's a connection thing and generally, people understand that.
Last edited by Kristen; 04-28-2006 at 09:08 PM.
i won't tell you that i love you
K I S S OR H U G YOU
cuz i'm bluffin with my muffin
i'm not lyin', i'm just stunnin with myLOVE glue gunnincan't read my POKER FACE
I don't think it's evil, but for me that's inmoral, girls have forgoten the meaning of the white dress(or whatever culture). I haven't had sex, because I know if something goes wrong I'm the one who's going to be struggleing in life. Guy's now in days, don't know what 'no' means, they go and get the girl pregnant and say that it isn't thier baby, and call them h-oes. If you know what you are doing then go ahead, but if you don't want the string that comes attached then, girl don't open your legs!. Sex before marrige is just not right, but some people get raped. If a guy realy respects a girl and truely loves her, he'll wait!, of course thats what I think!
Most of what is on this thread is generalizations. I said it is not right to treat them poorly. That also means to look down upon them--which I do not. Yes, individuals mature at different rates, but telling someone you don't think they should do something is not judging them. It is simply speaking from experience. If they follow it fine, if not fine. That is for them to learn. Those with experience typically do not want to see those without it suffer or face some of the things they did, so they try to prevent it. Most of the time they are not judging those younger than them, they simply see a potential risk and try to prevent it from occurring. Even at age 21 you still do not have the experience of someone who has lived twice your age no matter how mature you are. It doesn't mean you are immature or cannot handle something if it goes wrong, but it doesn't mean you should throw someone else's advice out the window thinking they are judging YOU by their words of caution from experience. Just because someone is mature doesn't mean they are ready for sex or anything else.Originally Posted by Exodus
I do not know if you are speaking to me specifically or just in general, but I do not believe if a 17 year old has sex that they are immoral. I do not judge HIM/HER. I judge the action. The action was merely unwise because they are most likely not ready for the consequences of it. It doesn't mean they will not learn or grow from it. My life is dedicated to helping students learn from their choices in a positive manner. Every experience teaches something and I find it quite sad when they are surrounded with those who DO judge them morally and guilt them into thinking they are bad people because they are human. We learn through experience and it is human for the youth to ignore the advice of the elder and for the elder to give it anyway knowing the youth must learn from their own experiences. My point and the only reason I said anything is that just because you are mature for your age, you cannot replace the perspective and knowledge that comes from the actual experience of having lived.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
My silence could mean you are not worth the argument.
"For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach." ~J.R.R. Tolkien
That's all good and well, I agree with you entirely. I'm sorry if you mis-interpreted what I was saying or if I was not clear enough. My entire point was that simply saying that someone who is 18- is not mature enough to handle sex is a large and broad generalization about that age group and shouldn't be made because of the aformentioned occurance that people grow at different rates. What I was saying had nothing to do with experience, it's all well to make suggestions. But not everyone will regret that action and not everyone will screw it up. Example, I realize that if my parents found out I've had sex, they would indefinitly freak out and be angry with me because of all the reasons stated. But just because I'm seventeen, doesn't mean I'm not mature enough to handle it or that I'll regret it. At first, I had thought I would, but I've looked over it carefully, and I don't. Because I do, and did, love this person. I'll also go to say that, for the majority, if one is too immature to have sex and deal with it rationally, they (and I use this term lightly) generally don't have sex to begin with. Those that do are often subjected to peer pressure and otherwise wouldn't. Yes, the consequences can be devistating, I've gone through some of this myself. But most know going into this situation, what can occur if you are not safe and reckless.Originally Posted by akiko_kalla
I'm not saying that just because I'm far more mature than many of those my own age, that everyone is like this. I realize the percentage rate of those in the same catagory as I are rather small and that it's rare. I'm just saying that it does happen and should be taken into account. Older people talk to younger ones like we don't know what we're doing and break everything down for us. Fact of the matter is, half the time we don't need it. This is all why parents need to be talking to their children about sex. Because it's okay to have sex as long as you understand it and aren't just going in on what your friends [mature or not] are saying. Often times, they're dead wrong. If parents took more time to discuss sex with their child and got over the ordeal of it being "awkward", I think we'd have a lot less teen pregnancies. "Awkward" should not prevent you from helping your child prevent themselves from screwing up their life.
i won't tell you that i love you
K I S S OR H U G YOU
cuz i'm bluffin with my muffin
i'm not lyin', i'm just stunnin with myLOVE glue gunnincan't read my POKER FACE
Welcome to my world. This rep thing is a stupid idea, let's any retard just bad rep you for whatever innane reason they can find or if your post (god forbid) offends their fragile sensibilities and isn't politically correct. Best idea is to really not just care about it.Originally Posted by _allismine_
And hey funny thing, last night in Kanata in the Walmart my friend and I walked by a group of teens, probably 16-18 range. And they were talking about getting expelled from school, smoking dope and jumping kids younger than them. One of them asked me to buy him a pack of smokes and left when I glared at him.
Just reinforces my belief that by default, teenagers, especially in the 15-18 range, got no clue about ... well, anything. BOO HOO if that upsets you, live with it.
I really dont care. I just depends I guess on who I am with.
What so you just don't care? Wierd way of looking at it.Originally Posted by currupted_ soul
If You Want To Battle, I'm ready at anythimeI'm out to destroy all evil.Follow Your Own Path.
It Will Lead You To Your Heart.
I couldn't agree more with you on the parents issue. ^_^ We just have different experiences then because almost all the teens I meet that have had sex are not handling it well and were not ready for it. But then I'm not sure that there is a way to be ready to handle everything. It's just more difficult if you aren't totally sure about your beliefs, feelings and who you are. Most teens, and even many adults, are still trying to figure that out regardless of their age. It doesn't mean they end up worse off because of it, but it also doesn't make their decision less difficult to deal with because they weren't ready.Originally Posted by Exodus
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
My silence could mean you are not worth the argument.
"For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach." ~J.R.R. Tolkien
I say go ahead and do it, just try not to get your partner pregnant guys.
Sig made by Masali
Of course they should be allowed, if they both think they are ready for it and use protection. Nowadays marriage is seen by some people as only a piece of paper.
RAWR
It's starting to become that, yeah.Originally Posted by fluffy-love
You know, I think that's another reason for why pre-marital sex is not a bad thing entirely. For many, sex is the most intimate thing you can do, and for that reason should be saved by the person they want to spend their life with. Well, good for them! And if they can hold true to that, wonderful.
But what a lot of people don't realize is that some might get caught up in their own emotions and desires and rush into a marriage a lot for the sex. I have to wonder, would Jessica and Nick broken up so soon for this reason? If you are already having sex with your partner, perhaps even living together, you won't feel a huge rush to get married and will be more likely to consider everything that comes with making a marriage work.
edit* I should also note that for the longest time, sex = marriage and marriage = sex (in middle ages and before, I believe, people had to be present on the wedding night to make sure that the couple was...*cough* married). Love didn't always fit into the equation.
Last edited by Ollie; 04-29-2006 at 05:00 PM.
This post has been approved by Dancing Alec™
Nah, the rep system is there because it let's people disagree with you on subjects, and if you're red, you most likely have a strong disagreement with half of humanity, or you tried to steal money from people on the boards. So don't get upset. And you should becareful who you insult.Originally Posted by Sagat
Please becareful where this is leading. I am no moderator, but I strongly believe that the mods/admins will disapprove of that subject.And they were talking about getting expelled from school, smoking dope and jumping kids younger than them.
Now back on topic..
xD HAHA. I thought that same thing. With Nick and Jess. Ah well.Originally Posted by Whispers
Harumph! There is nothing unnatural or (in common sense's opinion) immoral in having sex before marriage. It's a good way to know your partner before deciding to spend all your life with her/him.
About teenager's sex: It is immoral to deny them that too. They're just starting to know what it means. You should only tell them to use protection and to do it a lot less..
Virginity: I don't see what's the point in sticking to virginity. There is no 100% reliable method of telling a woman's virginity and there is no use in that. There is no such thing as a virgin boy, in he's case, that would be called sexual experience.
Admit it:
A girl with no such experience is called a Virgin
And a boy with no such experience is called a Looser
Isn't that right?
Not always.Originally Posted by Dr.McDoom!
This post has been approved by Dancing Alec™
And also, what if you lose the love you had when you first met? Won't you get divorced, or at the very least sepparated? And then what? You are going to sleep with other people you meet in other relationships after that, so it does not matter if you have sex before marriage or not.Originally Posted by Whispers
Marriage is a very big saccrifice, and people should be comfortable with one another before taking such a big step. Because, what if after your first time, on let's say your wedding night, you don't feel the same? What will happen then?
I'm sorry for just rambling. Gomen! ^-^U
RAWR
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