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Thread: a poem i wrote

  1. #1
    Junior Member ladykayra ladykayra's Avatar
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    Default a poem i wrote

    i hope it ok to post this here since i couldn't find anywhere else=^.^;=its a long poem i wrote and i was hoping to get crits on it(about two pages if you used word)well i think that all you really need to know about it but maybe that its kinda horrorish.......

    http://ladykcomics.bravehost.com/The%20String.htm

  2. #2
    Junior Member big daddy pimp is on a distinguished road big daddy pimp's Avatar
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    poems are stupid and i dont like them at all i would rather listen to country music.

  3. #3
    Member Funny_popsicle is infamous around these parts Funny_popsicle is infamous around these parts Funny_popsicle is infamous around these parts Funny_popsicle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by big daddy pimp
    poems are stupid and i dont like them at all i would rather listen to country music.
    man screw COUNTRY MUSIC

    [poem deleted]

    see i made dat up in 5 sec its better than country music

    Edit by Wizzy: Don't swear in your posts! and that "poem" is just inappropriate
    Last edited by wizz-o-matic; 03-12-2005 at 06:44 PM.

    (o")-o(x.x)

  4. #4
    Do you fear my Fantasy??! Fantasy fighter will become famous soon enough Fantasy fighter's Avatar
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    You can't post poems that aren't your own. Some mod will probably close this thread soon.

  5. #5
    Senior Member wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fantasy fighter
    You can't post poems that aren't your own. Some mod will probably close this thread soon.
    re-read her post again, that poem is her

  6. #6
    Do you fear my Fantasy??! Fantasy fighter will become famous soon enough Fantasy fighter's Avatar
    Gil
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Wizzard
    re-read her post again, that poem is her
    :o :o :o ...ups...:o :o :o

  7. #7
    Member IpleaInsanity will become famous soon enough IpleaInsanity's Avatar
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    Pretty good expect you should probably chose 1 form for the poem. You alternated between rhyming and free form and that got a little confusing. It was a marverlous idea and the thought behind it was amazing. Also, it got a little choppy and didn't seem to flow all that well. That's a main reason why I like poetry it is supposed to flow and connect. You got into it near the end and in some parts. Overall very nice and with a few changes you will have a masterpiece!!

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    Junior Member ladykayra ladykayra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IpleaInsanity
    Pretty good expect you should probably chose 1 form for the poem. You alternated between rhyming and free form and that got a little confusing. It was a marverlous idea and the thought behind it was amazing. Also, it got a little choppy and didn't seem to flow all that well. That's a main reason why I like poetry it is supposed to flow and connect. You got into it near the end and in some parts. Overall very nice and with a few changes you will have a masterpiece!!
    thank you*hugs*your the first person to actually tell me what was wrong with it!!i knew there was something but i couldn't figure it out on my own, you don't know how much you just helped me!!!!ay, now it can go our of the first draft and dead pile=^.^=

  9. #9
    Do you fear my Fantasy??! Fantasy fighter will become famous soon enough Fantasy fighter's Avatar
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    Just curiosity but how did you post the poem on that link?

  10. #10
    Junior Member ladykayra ladykayra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fantasy fighter
    Just curiosity but how did you post the poem on that link?
    um...i typed it in word then saved it as an htm file and uploaded it to one of my websites.......not sure if thats what yer asking but ya know i never think anyways sooooooo,i'll go do my homework now

  11. #11
    Do you fear my Fantasy??! Fantasy fighter will become famous soon enough Fantasy fighter's Avatar
    Gil
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    You have a website??? Lucky you

  12. #12
    Senior Member wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic has a reputation beyond repute wizz-o-matic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fantasy fighter
    You have a website??? Lucky you
    Doh, if you're smart you can also have your website, there's a lot of free webservers on the net, you just need to find them.
    One of them is the bravenet.com, where ladykayra has her poem. Just look a bit around!

  13. #13
    Just a cute little Kitty Chi? can only hope to improve Chi?'s Avatar
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    aw wow! that was so......so..COOL!!
    i love to write too!!
    ^_^
    isn't it fun?
    My Friends Pictures Below:

  14. #14
    Do you fear my Fantasy??! Fantasy fighter will become famous soon enough Fantasy fighter's Avatar
    Gil
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Wizzard
    Doh, if you're smart you can also have your website, there's a lot of free webservers on the net, you just need to find them.
    One of them is the bravenet.com, where ladykayra has her poem. Just look a bit around!
    Where do i find one?

  15. #15
    Junior Member ladykayra ladykayra's Avatar
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    to chi:indeed writing is much fun!!
    to Fantasy fighter : the wizard just told you one.... bravenet.com you can also go to tripod or a few others(can't rember them off th top of my head)
    to the wizard: gah yer avi it its attracting my attention I keep staring at it 'cause it blinks or flashs and i can't tell so i just keep staring at it=^.^;=hehehehe

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