http://www.animelyrics.com/doujin/oneroom/eve.htm


The existing translation has a lot of errors:
  • oboete iru ... watashi no kanshoku would mean "do you remember what it felt like to touch me", not "do you remember what my feelings are". I can't ask you what I felt, and kanshoku refers to sense of touch, not "feelings".
  • toozakaru anata ni wa is more like "as you move away", not "In the distance where you are"
  • tokei no hari wa shizuka ni toukashite itta is admittedly a difficult metaphor but I discussed it with someone else and I think it means that for the speaker, time appeared to stop moving, not literally "went transparent"
  • nidoto hanasanai is indicative, "I won't let you go", not imperative "don't let go of me
  • I think the implication of doko e is "where shall I go"
  • kegareta yami means "corrupted darkness" or such like, not "engulfed in darkness"
  • kesu is transitive, so kizutsuketa karada mo keshite shimaeru means "can I erase my wounded body"
  • ... to / itsumade shinjiyou means "let's keep believing that ...", not two separate sentences


Here's a new translation:


As you move away,
how does where I am look to you,
all alone under a dark sky?

The hands of the clock have been unnoticeably quiet.
Without knowing where I am, where shall I go?
If I were to say that I'll head
to wherever my wandering eyes lead …

Reach out your hand right now
before I disappear.
If you could grab hold of me once more,
I'll never let you go again.

I still remember
what you said, what it felt like to touch you.
We've walked a level path.

The light that used to be here died away, short lived.
Without knowing the answer, where shall I go?
If I were to fall
to the depths of this corrupted darkness …

I wonder, can I erase
my wounded body,
leaving only a future clung to
by meaningless words?

The way everything here and everywhere
that has existed all this time
now vanishes away,
please don't stop me wishing.
Please come here.

Let's keep believing
that this place is yours too.
Once you realize, then time which has stopped
might begin moving.

So then open the lock and reach out your hand
before I disappear.
If you could grab hold of me once more,
I'll never let you go again.